• Start a personal food blog, or, start a community food thread for all.

Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

IMG_3447.jpg


Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

IMG_3448.jpg



So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
SmokenFire said:
Brioche buns FTW!!  
 
I've been making burgers like this guy for a while now.  He's lewd and a bit vulgar, but his burger skills are on point.
 
Negative.
 
With lettuce.
 
And ketchup.
 
Egg buns?
 
#NotMyBurger.
 
texas blues said:
 
Negative.
 
With lettuce.
 
And ketchup.
 
Egg buns?
 
#NotMyBurger.
 
I prefer whole leaf iceberg, with a nice slice of tomato & onion.  I do prefer his pickle slices, and I skip the ketchup and prefer dijon instead of yellow.  Egg buns are the shit though, especially if you can't get brioche.  YMMV.
 
That said, I posted that vid mostly for the cooking method rather than the exact garnishes.  His trick w the touch of water to steam melt the cheese is solid, as is the grinding of whole chuck roast.
 
SmokenFire said:
 
I prefer whole leaf iceberg, with a nice slice to tomato and onion.
 

     You're doing it wrong.
 
     In Texas, we only use leaf lettuce.
 
     Buttercrunch, to be exact.
 
     And only weirdos and FIBs put onions and tomatoes on a burger.
 
     Only bacon and cheese for me.
 
     You'll learn to cook burgers the way I like them some day.
 
     Everything's louder and more narcissistic in Texas.
 
Hybrid Mode 01 said:
 
     You're doing it wrong.
 
     In Texas, we only use leaf lettuce.
 
     Buttercrunch, to be exact.
 
     And only weirdos and FIBs put onions and tomatoes on a burger.
 
     Only bacon and cheese for me.
 
     You'll learn to cook burgers the way I like them some day.
 
     Everything's louder and more narcissistic in Texas.
 
It ain't braggin' when you tell the truth.
 
Back
Top