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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
Hells Kitchen said:
lol, post pics of burger, ends up a slanging match over Air Supply  :rofl:  
 
Last of my burgers, Texas Blues is not gonna be impressed :D but this time I grilled the bacon to **** crisping it up nicely :D
 
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Oh I try to play the internet tough guy.
 
When it comes to lettuce and burgers.
 
But the fact is this.
 
If you invited me to your house.
 
And served me that burger.
 
I would neither remove the lettuce or whine about it.
 
Because I'm in your house.
 
And I will like it.
 
And it will be delicious.
 
Somehow.
 
Food cooked by a friend that we eat together.
 
Is always better.
 
texas blues said:
What up chidrens? Got my burger bromance on last night. I spied some blue crab claw meat at the store yesterday for cheapness and reckoned it was about time for a seafood burger. Label said it was all claw meat. Yeah right. And I'm Lucille Ball. Picked out some shell crackin's and got the crabbage into a mixing bowl with diced onion, one egg, cheapo bread crumbs, S & P, and about 3 or 4 Tbs of Huy Fong Chile Garlic sauce. Lately that stuff has been like heroin for me. Whirred and stirred and rosie palmed 'em into Black Betty with just a little canola oil on medium heat.

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She's black and beautiful and she has crabs....

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Toasted slider buns are perfect for gettin' next to teh crab. Topped these burgers with a generous lime squeezin' and pleazzin'
and chile garlic slaw.

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Truth be told y'all, I dropped the hammer on these burgers pronto and inhaled them like a Black & Decker Shop Vac!
The Huy Fong was killin' tonight!

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Get down brown y'all!
 
One of my best burger posts.
 
When we were kings!
 
I made some of those sloppy homemade burgers tonight on toasted sandwich bread. Evangeline Maid of course!!!
 
Burger mold from Cavetools that works good.
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Plugged in the George Foreman "grill". LOL and let them roll
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The only spicy thing is some homemade ketchup with some cayenne, this is Mrs Wages ketchup mix but it's almost a bbq sauce. 
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The burgers fixins was onions and mushrooms sauteed in butter and a little worshitshire, garden tomatoes, lettuce, home fries and of course Blue Plate mayo, mustard and the homemade ketchup. And a slice of cheese.
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Made me an In and Out double double animal style burger. My wife and mother in law had normal cheeseburgers, but I made me the In and Out Sauce, carmalized some onions, and cooked mustard into my panties. It was
 

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Yes, thats coarse ground chuck I made. Its kind of become a thing when my mother in law stays over. My father in law grills really thick formed patties out of store bought 85/15. She doesnt like ANY red visible in her meat, so he has to grill the s**t out of them and they wind up dry. Pan frying these higher fat chuck patties leaves them somewhat juicy and full of tons of flavor. First time she ever had one of these she was hooked.
 
Jesus Christ on a bun.
 
Imagine.
 
Instead of the loaves and fishes.
 
Jesus serves up that burger.
 
And then opens a chain of burger joints.
 
Cheeseburger Jesus.
 
Beats Mickey D's by 2,000 years.
 
Jesus saves.
 
And Jesus also saves cheeseburgers.
 
And queso.
 
What?
 
You've never had Jesus queso?
 
Get some chorizo all up in that 'thang.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I had burgers too, almost.
 
Look close Grasshopper, bacon and cheese mixed with 91% beef.
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Bacon Fat makes everything better!!!
 
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I have a buzz rolling and wasn't hungry from working all day in this heat so it's half a burger with grilled mushrooms, squash, zukes, garden tomato and onions with a fresh salad topped with ranch.
 
All gone!!
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