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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
I did wash it off.
 
After I threw it away I got pissed about the 7 bucks I spent on it.
 
It was an emotional decision to dig it out of the trash.
 
And yes I'm a bum.
 
But....
 
I'm y'all's kine of bum!
 
And because...
 
Pineapple.
 
And burgers.
 
 
 
The top of my Yeti fell in the trash and I couldn't bring myself to use it even after bleaching. It's more of a mind thing! It also had to do with... that little trash can was once in the bathroom. Amazon Prime time.
 
Burgers.
 
Cheeseburgers.
 
Smashed with swiss and pineapple.
 
Sorta' da kine Hawaiian. 
 
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With pequins in da' middle.
 
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With toasted 7 grain bread.
 
Yeah yeah....
 
I know.
 
Sorta' kine hippy.
 
Tomatos.
 
Hellman's Mayo.
 
And splooges of kabayaki.
 
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I am a whore for smashed burgers.
 
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10 paper towel juicy lucy as hell.
 
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This was killer.
 
I was 5 beers deep on this.
 
But I'm old and tired.
 
I can't see shit right now.
 
I need to find a toothbrush and a pillow.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Round 2.
 
I can't get enough of this burger.
 
mrs. blues had some sweet hawaiian style buns she was hiding.
 
I stole some.
 
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Da' kine.
 
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Stop staring at it.
 
 
 
Just eat it.
 
 
 
14 paper towels goodness.
 
 

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I've got one more da kine burger.
 
I just wish mrs. blues would get outta' da' kitchen.
 
Like right now.
 
I swear she dirty's 2 pots and a pan.
 
Uses 3 plates and a bowl.
 
And 20 pieces of silverware.
 
Just eating Kraft Mac N Cheese.
 
I don't have a clue what she's doing right now.
 
But it ain't good.
 
Guess who washes the dishes.
 
That would be her husband.
 
Me.
 
Because I love her.
 
Why just the other day she asked me a question.
 
"How do you like this dress?"
 
I responded.
 
"Do I look stupid?"
 
 
 
 
 
I never knew the Hawaiian/swiss cheese thing tbh.
 
This was mrs. blues jam.
 
She put it over minute rice in bowl.
 
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I tried it.
 
It was tasty.
 
But not as tasty as this.
 
Lets rock!
 
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The Kings Hawaiian BBQ sauce.
 
A direct copy of Mae Ploy.
 
But with a hint of smoke.
 
Loved it.
 
But needed a splooge of Mary Sharp's.
 
 
Tomorrow is 4th of July.
 
Post your burger!
 
 
 
 
 
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