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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
RG.
 
I prefer my burger cooked about mr/med.
 
However.
 
I've eaten countless burgers that were cooked well done.
 
And chingon.
 
The old school toast works like serious bid'ness!
 
Reminds me of how we ate homemade burgers as a kid sometimes.
 
And then.
 
Theres this.
 
No matter what Jeff Lassen says or what the LOC recognizes.
 
It wasn't the first.
 
Jeff Lassen is on drugs.
 
It was the mongols and Genghis Kahn.
 
(Not the MC club. Those guys are pussies!)
 
And most likely even before the mongols.
 
Later by the Germans et.al.
 
Fletcher Davis in Athens, TX.
 
And on and on.
 
The debate remains.
 
Beans or no beans?
 
Chicken or the egg?
 
Dwayne Johnson or The Rock?
 
 
 
 
 
The Hot Pepper said:
You're using box cheese and frozen fish sticks for tacos so why should you care??? :lol:
 
That is a true statement.
 
I am guilty of posting such.
 
And yet.
 
Where is your posting of frozen?
 
Fresh?
 
Dehydrated?
 
Space food in a tube eaten by astronauts and possibly aliens.?
 
Dead skunk in the middle of the road?
 
NYC any thang burger?
 
You of all people.
 
Owner/Operator of one of the best forums on the interwebs.
 
Can't figure out how to use a camera phone.
 
Or maybe....
 
You don't ever eat!
 
WTF?
 
What are you?
 
A vampire sleeping under a house for 200 years?
 
The Hot Pepper said:
You're using box cheese and frozen fish sticks for tacos so why should you care??? :lol:
 
 
texas blues said:
 
That is a true statement.
 
I am guilty of posting such.
 
And yet.
 
Where is your posting of frozen?
 
Fresh?
 
Dehydrated?
 
Space food in a tube eaten by astronauts and possibly aliens.?
 
Dead skunk in the middle of the road?
 
NYC any thang burger?
 
You of all people.
 
Owner/Operator of one of the best forums on the interwebs.
 
Can't figure out how to use a camera phone.
 
Or maybe....
 
You don't ever eat!
 
WTF?
 
What are you?
 
A vampire sleeping under a house for 200 years?
 
 
:dance:
 
 
:cheers:
 
Jesus Palomino!
 
Because of that pic.
 
Now I am coveting.
 
A big greasy slutty cheese burger.
 
Y'all know da' kine.
 
Like the plain jane girl next door.
 
So sweet like Mary Poppins.
 
But get her behind closed doors....
 
And she turns into the famous Russian writer.
 
Hoobitsch Kokoff.
 
Only...
 
On Texas Toast.
 
Because.
 
Texas Slut Burger.
 
I would call the chili cheese version....
 
The ManWhore.
 
With avocado?
 
The Hebitch.
 
I could go on and on.
 
But I got to go.
 
Trouble is lookin' at me.
 
 
Its dog wrasslin' time.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Y'all want a Texas burger?
 
Fire up some bigass black betty hotness.
 
Throwdown some diced jalapenos.
 
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Get some 80/20 chuck.
 
Smashem' in.
 
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Lay down some cheapass cheese.
 
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Texas toast.
 
In the oven,
 
This was store bought.
 
I can't find proper thick square egg bread to make it right proper.
 
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Now go full on Bruce Lee.
 
Kung fu it with ranch on both sides.
 
Conduct scientific 'speriments on it.
 
With pickles and tomato slices.
 
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Now drop the bomb.
 
With bakedass cheapness frozen onion'rangs.
 
And Stubbs BBQ sauce.
 
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I know.
 
Its only rock n'roll.
 
But I like it.
 
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It was too big.
 
For my small hands.
 
So I had to adapt.
 
Improvise.
 
And over come.
 
 
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Its not my normal ever day burger.
 
But got dang.
 
I said....
 
GOT DANG!!!
 
Because.
 
Got dang.
 
And Texas toast.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Holy sheeeit, amazing burger, and a thumb ring to top it off. As a native Texan, Im conflicted with Texas toast. I dont like it , but I understand the allure. I grew up on my Grannys homemade bread, so any store bought bread/toast was disappointing.

That said, Id pay your gas money to drive to my house and cook those for us!
 
At work, it's 11pm, a mate calls me over for a burger. Now, all I was expecting was a hunk-o-meat between two slices of white bread with a splooge of tomato sauce/ketchup. This is what I got.  :shocked:
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Hamburger bun, tomato sauce, mustard, smoked Cayenne powder, beef pattie,  cheese, bacon, barbecue sauce, tomato and lettuce. All I can say is that it was hella delicious.....
 
SR.
 
Had to venture into San Antonio for work today.

Thats a lie.

I had to go to Boerne for work today.

But San Antonio has Five Guys.

And Boerne doesnt.

Double bacon cheeseburger with A1 sauce, grilled onions and jalapeños.

And a side of small Cajun fries with hot sauce to dip them into.
 

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texas blues said:
I am.
 
Disappoint. 
 
You still mates with that guy?
 
What didn't you like about that burger?! The lettuce I assume...
 
"Hamburger bun, tomato sauce, mustard, smoked Cayenne powder, beef pattie, cheese, bacon, barbecue sauce, tomato and lettuce. All I can say is that it was hella delicious....."
 
The Hot Pepper said:
 
What didn't you like about that burger?! The lettuce I assume...
 
"Hamburger bun, tomato sauce, mustard, smoked Cayenne powder, beef pattie, cheese, bacon, barbecue sauce, tomato and lettuce. All I can say is that it was hella delicious....."
 
I am warming to the idea of lettuce on a burger.
 
However.
 
That burger had so much of it.
 
Along with the tomato.
 
I couldn't see any of the goodies.
 
Like going to an amish strip joint.
 
Who sits on the meat rack and tosses a fiver....
 
In the hope of seeing some ankle?
 
To be fair.
 
Most of my favorite burger joint burgers..
 
Have lettuce on 'em.
 
Mahaloha Burger.
 
Dick's Drive Inn.
 
To name a couple.
 
And mayo too!
 
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