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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
The Hot Pepper said:
Burger abuse with extra sodium and plastic cheese.
 
That is true.
 
Its a shit burger..
 
But theres a certain somethin'.
 
That makes me want it.
 
Like crazy.
 
Vampire.
 
Hot women.
 
I'm married.
 
To one of them.
 
Bourdain.
 
What an asshole.
 
I really miss that guy.
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4J1seTHAMU&t=130s
 
Look at the ooze dripping.
 
When he bites into that double double.
 
Thats real neanderthal caveman.
 
Lust.
 
I will oklahoma pig wrassle.
 
Three fat chicks.
 
With mustaches.
 
For that double double.
 
 
You would too.
 
 
Thanks Anthony.
 
 
An Ode to TB!
 
When you crave that salmon burger
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Hand-formed patty w/scallions
Teriyaki grilled onions
Flattopped!
Brioche bun
Butterflly Bakery of Vermont Maple Sugar Shack Sriracha!
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Red cabbage apple slaw
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Manhandle it...
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...with your no-ring gardening thumb even if it isn't green!
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NO RANCH OR PINEAPPLES HARMED!
 
Teriyaki onions: Cut a large solid onion slice intact without the rings falling out. Griddle it with a little oil and soak it with teriyaki. Flip it, douse it, both sides should brown/caramelize. When done, just break the rings apart and only the edges are browned, the rest is soft, white. Try it, especially on salmon. 
 
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