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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
Rajun Gardener said:
 
Shame on all of us..... Everyone except Pookie missed National Hamburger Day yesterday.
 
80/20 CAB smash burgers on the "Made in USA" Sunbeam gasser with Grill Grates. Love that double stack burnt charred beef burger!!!! Can we give a moment of silence to Honor all those Old School Diner style burgers everywhere?
 
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looking guuuuddddddd!!!!!  
 
Some burgers my wife and I made the other night.

80/20 Ground Chuck (Store bought), cooked in Dales Steak Seasoning sauce.
Shredded Gouda on the burger, along with Truff (Hot Sauce + Truffle Sauce).
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It was pretty good, I was trying to pair the hot sauce with the gouda, which worked pretty well.

(On the side are Rallys fries with parmesean and more truff. Mostly just trying the stuff out.)
 
 
I've often wondered.
 
What a cheeseburger in heaven.
 
Would be like.
 
Now I know.
 
I got some thick jalapeno bacon.
 
And I buttrocketed it in cast iron.
 
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You want this.
 
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Then I tossed some onion.
 
Into the hot bacon greasenessess.
 
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Pulled the savoya.
 
And wiped out the pan.
 
And dropped 3 deuces.
 
Of 80/20 chuck.
 
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Smashedem'.
 
Look at that killer crust!
 
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Gouda cheese it n' please it.
 
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Toasted some slider buns.
 
And splooged on some sriracha mayo.
 
With sliced roma toms.
 
Buttrocketed again.
 
2 times.
 
In a cheapass old school basket.
 
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Time to chairman mao fist.
 
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It was so good.
 
I almost bit my finger off.
 
While eating it.
 
I made 3 of em'.
 
But only ate 2.
 
Jesus came by.
 
And ate the last one.
 
He gave me a high five.
 
And a free Get Out Of Hell Card.
 
Awesometown!
 
 
Today was a good day.
 

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RG
 
Love the burger.
 
But those thick ass fries.
 
Too much for me.
 
No way I could eat those.
 
And finish the burger.
 
Wait.
 
I am a liar.
 
Splooge hot queso on those fries.
 
With bacon bits on top.
 
And then call my attorney.
 
Because.
 
In some places of this country.
 
Thats illegal.
 
Sometimes.
 
Criminal feels good.
 
I grew up on Whataburger.
 
When I was a kid.
 
It was hands down.
 
The best burger joint ever.
 
They used to have little bags.
 
Of pickled jalapenos.
 
Hanging on a metal tree on the counter.
 
They did some good 'thangs.
 
Later on.
 
Onion 'rangs.
 
The spicy ketchup.
 
Which is bestest ketchup.
 
But somehow.
 
They lost their way.
 
Breakfast crap.
 
Shit tacos.
 
Biscuit junk.
 
Last time I had WB.
 
The burger was salty cardboard.
 
And now the Chicago Investment Group buyout.
 
Before that.
 
I still wanted to believe.
 
I always prayed.
 
That they would go back to the original Whataburger.
 
And keep it simple.
 
Like INO.
 
But no.
 
I reckon now.
 
They'll just be.
 
Another shitty ass Burger King.
 
Only with better ketchup.
 
I sometimes think.
 
I can't wait to leave this shitty world.
 
Except the fishing.
 
And catching.
 
Is still too good!
 
 
Love the one you're with.
 
I like to be liking this flick.
 
Its crazy.
 
That way.
 
Don't click if you don't like.
 
Cool hot Vietnamese chicks.
 
Dude doing the video.
 
Talks too much.
 
You have to watch the whole flick.
 
For satisfactionfication.
 
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5eIApqOcu0
 
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