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The Drunken Chef


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#1 texas blues

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Posted 21 March 2009 - 10:46 AM

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.

#2 PhatManDerek

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Posted 21 March 2009 - 01:45 PM

Damn bro, That looks mighty tasty,
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The awful smell is produced in the sphincter after consumption of slow-roasted habs. If you're doing it right.


#3 imaguitargod

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Posted 21 March 2009 - 04:41 PM

: drool :

#4 Davetaylor

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Posted 21 March 2009 - 05:04 PM

you couldn't have been that pissed cos them are mighty fine(in focus) pics bud

#5 Dyce51

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Posted 21 March 2009 - 06:01 PM

slurp........wow......what time is dinner?

#6 ImpyChick

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Posted 21 March 2009 - 11:14 PM

Well damn it all! This is my first visit to THP today & w/o reading anything else I posted my own thread. About something I made while drunk. Grrrrrrr. Sorry TB, I totally would've added to this thread if I would've seen it earlier. *Sigh* Fail.
I like my women like I like my peppers...hot.

#7 QuadShotz

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Posted 21 March 2009 - 11:46 PM

Can always link to tho eh?

Nice work TB!!



#8 JayT

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Posted 22 March 2009 - 08:56 AM

TB do you ever cook sober? I think you (as I) have become accustomed to cooking with the beer or bottle within arms reach. However, that being said that sounds like some damn fine chicken you made there. The only caution I give to anyone else attempting this feat for the first time is be careful with the chef's knife. I sliced my thumb pretty good one day chopping an onion while intoximacated. I will definitely be contributing to this thread soon and often. I still have some chicken breasts and pork chops marinating in the fridge. Maybe it will be this afternoon.

That's it, say goodbye to your precious bunnies....
 


#9 texas blues

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Posted 22 March 2009 - 11:03 AM

Well damn it all! This is my first visit to THP today & w/o reading anything else I posted my own thread. About something I made while drunk. Grrrrrrr. Sorry TB, I totally would've added to this thread if I would've seen it earlier. *Sigh* Fail.


No way fail girl! I saw your other thread and anyone who actually posts a pic of the bottle of booze used in the crime is ay okay in my book!!

TB do you ever cook sober? I think you (as I) have become accustomed to cooking with the beer or bottle within arms reach. However, that being said that sounds like some damn fine chicken you made there. The only caution I give to anyone else attempting this feat for the first time is be careful with the chef's knife. I sliced my thumb pretty good one day chopping an onion while intoximacated. I will definitely be contributing to this thread soon and often. I still have some chicken breasts and pork chops marinating in the fridge. Maybe it will be this afternoon.


Hmmmm. Define sober. My buzz level seems to fluctuate a bit on the drunkatometer but yes, if you see pics of my work, rest assured that alcohol was involved.

Cheers, TB.

#10 texas blues

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Posted 22 March 2009 - 12:45 PM

Alright then chidrens', last eve the booze train pulled into the Blues Kitchen once again. I had marinaded some chix thighs the previous night in a nice teriyaki. I also had some green onions, anahiems, and jalapenos. All went on the grill. The sweetness really comes out on the green onions when grilled slow, same for the peppers. After I drained off the marinade from the chix, I added some pequins to that and reduced. While not exactly piss drunk, I was most certainly in the tank. Here's the evidence of the mayhem as it unfolded...

Gettin' down TB style....


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Pequinyaki!

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Serious mojo here ya'll..

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Cheers ya'll, TB.

#11 Davetaylor

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Posted 22 March 2009 - 01:49 PM

the last pic says it all about what your blood/alcohol was!!!!! looks damn tasty but not the kind of pretentious wank presentation we are led to believe we need before food tastes good!

#12 texas blues

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Posted 22 March 2009 - 02:20 PM

the last pic says it all about what your blood/alcohol was!!!!! looks damn tasty but not the kind of pretentious wank presentation we are led to believe we need before food tastes good!


For the most part I try and leave out the fufu. If its a turd, dressing it up won't help. If it looks like sex on a plate, leave it at that!

Cheers, TB.

#13 Davetaylor

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Posted 22 March 2009 - 02:30 PM

For the most part I try and leave out the fufu. If its a turd, dressing it up won't help. If it looks like sex on a plate, leave it at that!

Cheers, TB.

i don't bother with the flouncing about either, it's the taste the counts and as you say you can't polish a turd,

you green onions a presume are the green and white strands on the grill, what we call spring onions over here

#14 Chef Jimmie

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Posted 22 March 2009 - 04:41 PM

That looks pretty good..but you're missing one thing...some kind of a potato...ANY kind of a potato.

Potatoes Anna made with some diced chilis...

Baked with Chili compound butter and sour cream

roasted with onions and chilis

Chipotle sweet potatoes

Pepperhead


#15 Davetaylor

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Posted 22 March 2009 - 04:44 PM

That looks pretty good..but you're missing one thing...some kind of a potato...ANY kind of a potato.

Potatoes Anna made with some diced chilis...

Baked with Chili compound butter and sour cream

roasted with onions and chilis

Chipotle sweet potatoes


sounds like your a spud man Jimmie!!!!!!!!!

#16 Chef Jimmie

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Posted 22 March 2009 - 04:55 PM

Jimmie loves some spuds!

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#17 JayT

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Posted 22 March 2009 - 05:37 PM

Ima big spud fan too. Tonight: Teriyaki Pork chops with smashed pan fried red potatoes with parmesan romano cheese, and salad.

That's it, say goodbye to your precious bunnies....
 


#18 texas blues

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Posted 22 March 2009 - 05:55 PM

That looks pretty good..but you're missing one thing...some kind of a potato...ANY kind of a potato.

Potatoes Anna made with some diced chilis...

Baked with Chili compound butter and sour cream

roasted with onions and chilis

Chipotle sweet potatoes


Thanks but I'm not much of a potato guy. I'll do them up for others but not me. I am of the opinion that anything a spud can do, mac & cheese can do better.

Cheers, TB.

#19 texas blues

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Posted 22 March 2009 - 05:56 PM

Ima big spud fan too. Tonight: Teriyaki Pork chops with smashed pan fried red potatoes with parmesan romano cheese, and salad.


tsk. tsk. tsk. No mention of booze.

Cheers, TB.

#20 JayT

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Posted 22 March 2009 - 05:59 PM

tsk. tsk. tsk. No mention of booze.

Cheers, TB.


Oh sorry, but I am winding down a bit now. I had 5 pints of Beamish, a Victory Storm King (Imperial Stout), an American Honey with Sprite (think honey flavored Wild Turkey), and a Mind Eraser.

That's it, say goodbye to your precious bunnies....
 





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