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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Mr.CtChilihead said:
We  need to get together and party some time HK..It would be epic..
 
 
damn blooody straightr man, drinkiing and BBQing is real living, none of that nazi health nazi wankers which try to convvince us that we'll die at 40 , I am carnivorous and will live to 100 baby, onty rabbit foood nqxi anti booze wowser dickholes greenie and labor voting  wankers will die early like god intended
 
holyshit it is over 3am i have ti go to bed so I can drink properly tomtorooorw
 
edit= 3:30am shit better hit it othewise will be too hungover/and or over rthe legal limit to drive to the bottlew shop tomorrrow shit canjt even remember where i hid my emplty bottle of bourbon but its all good if I dont know where it is, then any naggers and bullshitter communist anti drinking nazis havde no chance of finding it
 
time to hit the sack , sooner i hit the sack sooner i can drink tomorrow bloody tops :D
 
Mr.CtChilihead said:
It is my anniversary and my wife served me Bailey's in my coffee this morning...I think Drunken chef stuff might happen today..
 
Happy Anniversary 
Mr.CtChilihead said:
Been together 17 years Married 11 years today!
do you still do this ?
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after more than 10 years it still seems ridiculous and it seems more like this to me now  :rofl:
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the things we do to get their attention :lol:
 
MikeUSMC said:
So, you got "locked down" on Independence Day? Talk about irony, huh? ;)

Happy Anniversary, Walt!
though today it might be a little something more like this 
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    :party:
 
 
 
:woohoo:
:drunk:
 
:cheers:
 
No one been drunk lately? C'mon. 
 
The results. I have an endless supply of wood I can cut chunks from so I went out with my saw and lopped off some chucks from a fallen Eucalyptus branch from  a big pile of fallen Eucalytus branches and I threw a couple of them onto the briquettes. No way in hell I am paying for shittly little bags of wood chips at the shops......
 
the fun stuff
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steaks
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pork bellies
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honey soy teriyaki bbq wings
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smoking
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crisping them up
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I was gonna post this last night but got really cocked..Fell a sleep during dinner..But either way it came out fantastic..Beef Short ribs braised in Cabernet.Served with garlic mashed potatoes with Cabernet,mushroom and cherry tomato reduction and a cucumber and cherry tomato salad..

The starting shot..
 
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Browning before the braise..I ran out of Jim here..
 
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Building my braising liquid..
 
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This where I made a bad choice And I started drinking vodka and cranberrys lake side for three hours while my braise was at 300f..I got good and hammered, so I'd be my best for work today..Here is everything ready for assembly..
 
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And one of the plate..We eat on paper...ALOT...
 
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Hope you all enjoyed this dish as much as I enjoyed making it..
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
The Patriots kicked off the NFL opening game tonight, so naturally, I'm drinking

Just slapped together some halftime crunch wraps because I was "too busy to eat" at dinner time since I was drinking out in the garage, haha

No cast iron (yet) here, and I used glass Pyrex bowls to weigh the wraps down, lol
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Beer
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One got burnt. Price you pay for cooking drunk, haha
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Tortilla, ground (beef) taco meat, refried beans, lettuce, pico de gallo, shredded cheddar jack cheese, and minced up Nagabons
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Forgot to take prep pictures, hence "The Drunken Chef"
:cheers:
 
Tonights Dinner Chicken Taco Salad 


Ingredients:
1.75 lb chicken tenderloins
1 lg. Minnesnowtaheim pepper :lol: green
2 Taco seasoning packets or better yet SmokeNFire's DeeRoo Taco Tuesday seasoning ;)
(I just used a store bought Taco seasoning mix and augmented it with smoked red Hatch, smoked red Serrano, and a pinch of smoked Panca powder this time)
1 can black beans
Lettuce, shredded
Cheese 5 type mexican shredded
Black olives sliced
Taco chips (Doritoes Cool Ranch, use what you like )
Sour cream
Avocado
Lime
Home made salsa (tonight i used scotch brain, trini scorp peach,fruxim,hatch/minnesnowtaheim, tomato (deseeded), purple onion, lime juice, and alderwood smoked sea salt )
Anything else you like on Tacos give it a try on taco salad!

Start by cooking the chicken until just done, don't let it get dried out.
As chicken is cooking chop up the peppers.
Once chicken is cooked slice into pieces and then hand shred into skillet.
Add in peppers
Add taco seasoning per packet instructions.
Heat black beans.
Once the chicken and beans are hot, assemble your salad in a bowl to fit your appetite.
Like all taco things, this is make to your own liking so add what ever toppings you like in the quantities you like. 
 
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Now time to assemble all the delicious layers...
 
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