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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Continued...
 
 
layer #1 shredded lettuce
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Layer #2
Crushed chips
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layer #3
Cooked seasoned meat
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Layer # 4 Cheeses
 
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layer # 5 Beans
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layer # 6 home made salsa and Rocoto Hot sauce
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Layer # 7 sliced Olives, sliced Avocado, and a dollop of Daisy  ;)
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and finish with a dusting of my smoked red Serrano Pow on the sour cream dollop
 
Now garnish with a Cilantro leaf because your fancy schmancy like that and you deserve it  ;)    :rofl:
 
 
BOOM
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Soooo full :D
:cheers:
 
Homemade Mcdonalds Mighty Muffin. I know I know, no pics of booze, but please be rest assured, I was off my tits when I made this. Topped off with spicy ketchup, I was skeptical of this stuff until I tasted it, it is actually hot and has a nice mexican flavour. I have to drink when I cook anything pleasurable, that should be proof enough. Like last night, I was shit faced, and I cooked some 2-minute noodles and this morning the leftover juice tasted so freaking good, i want the recipe, but I will never know my own recipe as I was too shit faced. 
 
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A lil bit of mixed bag while drinking so probably best posted here. I was a minimum of 9 cans of bourbon in when taking these pics, because as we all know, BBQing without drinking is treason. illegal and mandated by federal law, 
 
Some Portuguese marinated chicken pieces I picked up on special, a rib, and decided to try my hand at some jalapeno poppers. So I put some shredded cheese and cream cheese in the jalapenos, and wrapped them in bacon without toothpicks, assured by Dr Youtube that I do not need toothpicks. Just a casual session, 
 
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See my retarded poppers, my first experience with these and wow they tasted good fresh off the grill, but suing for malpractice 
 
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ribs, turned out good, nice n tender, but next time will drop the temp and cook for longer to avoid the tad excess char bark. I used my own rub and then sauced with some bbq sauce
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HK I am hungry after seeing those pics.  That is my kind of cook.  In fact, If you look back at my history in this thread, I promise you will find that exact cook a half a dozen times.  I would love to try the rub you have perfected.  Care to sell a spice bottle of it?  Great work man.  I was also taken aback at first when you said you had cans of bourbon.  Then I saw it was the Jack n cole
 
JayT said:
HK I am hungry after seeing those pics.  That is my kind of cook.  In fact, If you look back at my history in this thread, I promise you will find that exact cook a half a dozen times.  I would love to try the rub you have perfected.  Care to sell a spice bottle of it?  Great work man.  I was also taken aback at first when you said you had cans of bourbon.  Then I saw it was the Jack n cole
 
morning my friend...
 
HI AJ!!!!  
 
Just thought I'd catch ya while in this thread~  Howdy! and hoping things are all good for you!!!
Did you see the new bling attached to Smoke~'s profile?      He's All-Mighty-esque now.  Which is a good thing~  ;)
 
salsalady
 
salsalady said:
HI AJ!!!!  
 
Just thought I'd catch ya while in this thread~  Howdy! and hoping things are all good for you!!!
Did you see the new bling attached to Smoke~'s profile?      He's All-Mighty-esque now.  Which is a good thing~  ;)
 
salsalady
 
hi Salsa...been doing fine
 
 
I missed the bling on smokes thingy...it fits him well...
 
 
AJ
 
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