• Start a personal food blog, or, start a community food thread for all.

The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

0230.jpg


I think this was chicken..


0228.jpg


Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

0231.jpg


I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Today, to celebrate National Pickle Day.
i give you, the chilehead version of a local favorite of my Wife...
 
 
The Pickle Pinwheel 
 
 
5pqa3So.jpg

lets start with some Dill Pickles, some Ham, some Cream Cheese, some Tortillas (i went with sun dried tomato basil), and some smoked Serrano POW
 
 
EnzG58A.jpg

Schmear that cream cheese on a tilla and blot your pickles dry with some paper towels
 
 
ERnLAUh.jpg

now dust the whole thing with your favorite powpow
 
 
JjOhkPl.jpg

Place your dried off pickles, and deli ham on next
 
 
bpBvOd1.jpg

now twist it up like your rollin' a Phatty 
 
 
xFrliK2.jpg

now you could stop here and eat this as a handroll or a wrap
 
6bo0JuD.jpg

a mighty fine wrap it is indeed, but it is not yet a Pickle Pinwheel 
 
 
FqngETX.jpg

There we go! 
Now typically you would hold them together with toothpicks, but i'm going to be piling these into my face in less time than it will take to toothpick them all  :lol:
 
NDObwB1.jpg

Serve with a libation you think pairs well with PICKLES  :cool: 
 
Happy national Pickle day every1 :drunk:   :dance: 
 
 
 
:cheers: 
 
 
 
 
When I was a kid I used to make that with swiss and white bread.
 
A dill pickle wrapped in ham, swiss (or american), mustard, then white bread, and squeeze it around it all. Then microwave it.
 
Later in life I discovered why I liked the Cuban sandwich so much lol!
 
JayT said:
HK I am hungry after seeing those pics.  That is my kind of cook.  In fact, If you look back at my history in this thread, I promise you will find that exact cook a half a dozen times.  I would love to try the rub you have perfected.  Care to sell a spice bottle of it?  Great work man.  I was also taken aback at first when you said you had cans of bourbon.  Then I saw it was the Jack n cole
 
Good business idea there my friend  :cool:  The rub contains 3 secret, yet obvious ingredients :D I've found myself fingering it while hungry for snacks and it's almost all gone, but not to worry, was easy to make and have it memorised off the top of my head. 
 
Tonight's bbq while drinking. Goddamint it took me 2 tries to start the coal thanks the stupid billion km/h winds, honestly this is the windiest town in the universe the freaking coals did not light so had to get my white lighter cubes out again and they all crumbled to shit and the remaining intact ones blew overboard in Hurricane Dickface and now I have jet fuel crumbs all over my deck  
 
second time lucky the coals were roaring like a bitch in no time but delayed my cooking so had to cook while me shows on TV were on at the same time, and I forgot to put the jalapenos on so the bacon wasnt as crisp as I wanted it 
 
 
lJf9nJa.jpg

 
6qVjNxW.jpg
 
Hells Kitchen said:
 
Good business idea there my friend  :cool:  The rub contains 3 secret, yet obvious ingredients :D I've found myself fingering it while hungry for snacks and it's almost all gone, but not to worry, was easy to make and have it memorised off the top of my head. 
 
Tonight's bbq while drinking. Goddamint it took me 2 tries to start the coal thanks the stupid billion km/h winds, honestly this is the windiest town in the universe the freaking coals did not light so had to get my white lighter cubes out again and they all crumbled to shit and the remaining intact ones blew overboard in Hurricane Dickface and now I have jet fuel crumbs all over my deck  
 
second time lucky the coals were roaring like a bitch in no time but delayed my cooking so had to cook while me shows on TV were on at the same time, and I forgot to put the jalapenos on so the bacon wasnt as crisp as I wanted it 
 
 
lJf9nJa.jpg

 
6qVjNxW.jpg
 
Looks great m8 , those chicken thighs and some kind of sweet chili sauce? 
 
texas blues said:
 
I'm sitting on the toilet with my laptop on my knees right now as I'm posting to the THP Forum.
 
I challenge anyone to beat that.
 
Okay my bad.
 
That's only been done about 5 hundred thousand times.
 
Nice to see you checking in again TB.  Hope all is well out on the ranch.  :)
 
SmokenFire said:
 
Nice to see you checking in again TB.  Hope all is well out on the ranch.  :)
 
Muchas gracias senor for the well wishes.
 
Over the last coupla' years I've been beaten down and brutalized.
 
Battered up and booglarized.
 
Drinkin' diesel and shittin' fireballs.
 
I've been torn down and spit on.
 
Broken down and pissed on.
 
Chased dragged down and mauled by a pack of dogs.
 
Othern' that...I'm fine
 
 
Gotta' go.
 
Trouble's afoot.
 
Back
Top