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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Hells Kitchen said:
Let's be honest here, I was not even remotely sober when I decided to do this. Local shop had steak on special, so ate the first half 4 days ago, now for the second 2 pieces which has been marinating in olive oil for 4 days. 
 
My pepper grinder decided to blow up like a dickhead while seasoning my peas, sending shit all over my stove, floor, etc, but vacuuming day is not for another 2 weeks, coz my vaccum cleanier is a pain in the ass crock of shit. The lil bastard pepper thing  is ashamed and has decided to hide in this pic. 
 
 
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$7 worth of steak 
 
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fun
 
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let's eat!
 
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I'd hit that twice!!!
 
 
JayT said:
I concur. Some of my most awesomeness comes at 6:11 am
 
Geez Louise.
 
Get rid of that sig/gif chingaderra.
 
You're blinding me.
 
Gimme.
 
A pic.
 
One pic.
 
Of Sausage Camp.
 
The front porch will do.
 
The cabin interior.
 
Better.
 
A cast iron wood stove or fire pit.
 
With meat sizzling on it.
 
Date night.
 
Well...
 
Not for you.
 
You're at Sausage Camp.
 
texas blues said:
 
Geez Louise.
 
Get rid of that sig/gif chingaderra.
 
You're blinding me.
 
Gimme.
 
A pic.
 
One pic.
 
Of Sausage Camp.
 
The front porch will do.
 
The cabin interior.
 
Better.
 
A cast iron wood stove or fire pit.
 
With meat sizzling on it.
 
Date night.
 
Well...
 
Not for you.
 
You're at Sausage Camp.
 
The Hot Pepper said:
 
On the contrary sir!
 
Every night is date night at sausage camp.
 
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Thank you sir, but I must correct one thing. I am not at sausage camp. I won't be there for another week. I will take some pics for you. Btw the real name of sausage camp is Bean Hill not sure why.
 
It was late, I had a buzz and got hungry. I had leftover boiled shrimp and bbq so I combined them for a throw together supper. 
 
I started with a little shrimp box left over from a boil
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peeled the shrimp, cut the corn into little wheels and sliced up a sausage from bbq 
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I went for a Mexican street corn thing, I mixed lime juice and mayo for a glaze then topped it with Tajin Lime seasoning. I used Parm cuz that's what I had. 
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Peeled the shrimp, sliced the sausage and skewed them, drizzled with lime juice and seasoned with One & Done.
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I went out and fired up the gas grill, these don't need to be cooked just warmed and a little color but apparently I'm a dumbass and never clean the grill so the fat/grease from steaks caught fire. It made pretty colors.  :rofl:
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A few minutes on the flames topped with Southern Belles sauce and they're done. 
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The lime really came through on the corn, I need to try this sober because it was awesome last night.
 
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