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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
"Extra Tasty" is just matured cheddar.  There is also "Tasty" cheese, which is simply basic cheddar. The mainstream brands use the term "tasty" while the more posh brands use "cheddar". Why they can't all be labelled as  cheddar is a mystery more elusive than cracking the secrets of the universe. Perhaps the term became like a trademark, or generic name, as one of the grades of cheddar is "tasty".
 
lol if anyone pioneers Kangaroo cheese they can bugger off, I've had kangaroo sausages on the BBQ before and they were shithouse. :)  There's also kangaroo steaks and mince, over cook them by 1 second and you've got yourself a Sahara desert made of rubber :)
 
yesterday I picked some Trinidads, and I did some Chow Mein. I threw in a tiny Trinidad Scorpion and a Cardi into it while it was cooking while drinking. When it was finished, I took the stem off the red Trinidad, and licked that end. BLOODY HELL  it hurt for a good half hour! Both chillis were soft from the cooking, so I mushed them into the dish before eating. Yep, this meal was actually spicy. 
 
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the offending bastard
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the plate up while drinking
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Hells Kitchen said:
"Extra Tasty" is just matured cheddar.  There is also "Tasty" cheese, which is simply basic cheddar. The mainstream brands use the term "tasty" while the more posh brands use "cheddar". Why they can't all be labelled as  cheddar is a mystery more elusive than cracking the secrets of the universe. Perhaps the term became like a trademark, or generic name, as one of the grades of cheddar is "tasty".
 
lol if anyone pioneers Kangaroo cheese they can bugger off, I've had kangaroo sausages on the BBQ before and they were shithouse. :)  There's also kangaroo steaks and mince, over cook them by 1 second and you've got yourself a Sahara desert made of rubber :)
 
Fancy ketchup on tasty cheese mmmm! 
 
Saturday night, maybe Sunday morning...  Got a hankering for tacos...  Got the meat and fixins out and into the pan before realizing that we were out of tortillas...
 
Ahh screw it, I've got hot dog buns!
 
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Used some of the Bold Badger Chipotle sauce on these.  It's quite hot and made sure I remembered the next morning.
 
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Drunken chef achievement unlocked! 
 
JayT said:
I'm thinking of moving to Oz just to be closer to Shorerider's sauces.  Just sayin'
 
I used to live no more than 70km from him :D I'm still within an hour range of him on an airliner :D Australia Post on the other hand....
 
 
Shore Rider has a legit setup, the general Aussie population thinks  sweet chilli sauce is hot lmfao, and anything genuinely hot is hard af to find in the supermarket, and well anywhere else. This country is terrified of heat and good times.  :rolleyes:  :rolleyes:  :rolleyes:  
 
I will be contacting ShoreRider for some sauces in the near future.....
 
SmokenFire said:
Saturday night, maybe Sunday morning...  Got a hankering for tacos...  Got the meat and fixins out and into the pan before realizing that we were out of tortillas...
 
Ahh screw it, I've got hot dog buns!
GIP would be proud of that "Taco"....... :rofl:
 
Hells Kitchen said:
 
I used to live no more than 70km from him :D I'm still within an hour range of him on an airliner :D Australia Post on the other hand....
 
 
Shore Rider has a legit setup, the general Aussie population thinks  sweet chilli sauce is hot lmfao, and anything genuinely hot is hard af to find in the supermarket, and well anywhere else. This country is terrified of heat and good times.  :rolleyes:  :rolleyes:  :rolleyes:  
 
I will be contacting ShoreRider for some sauces in the near future.....
 
I'd be happy to hook you up mate, just let me know.
 
SR.
 
SmokenFire said:
Saturday night, maybe Sunday morning...  Got a hankering for tacos...  Got the meat and fixins out and into the pan before realizing that we were out of tortillas...
 
Ahh screw it, I've got hot dog buns!
 
4qhqaq.jpg

 
Used some of the Bold Badger Chipotle sauce on these.  It's quite hot and made sure I remembered the next morning.
 
2ec1ymc.jpg

 
Drunken chef achievement unlocked! 
 
Holy crap.
 
Thats some Kung Fu Master Drunken Cheffery.
 
5 Finger Hot Dog Bun Mouth Fist!
 
So had some left over wings which I did not want to freeze, and bought some "sweet chilli pepper beef" sausages  to go with it. These wings have been marinated in plum sauce and Teriyaki/Soy sauce. Ofcourse, I made sure I was drunk before lighting the coals, coz lighting coals when sober is like drinking milk without the cocoa. You can  see the 100th glass of wine in the last pic.  Shoved a big ass piece of wood into the coals which can be seen burning in the second pic.  Everything I am wearing now and my skin etc is entrenched with wood smoke aswell, which frankly, kicks ass. 
 
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dragonsfire said:
Mmmmmmmmm, nice, reminds me need to make some plum sauce before I eat them all :)
 
The plum sauce was good, but the teriyaki soy wings were better ;) Next mission, a couple of batches, one marinated with Hoisin, the other with soy honey garlic red wine. 
 
 
 
 
The Hot Pepper said:
Might be the lighting but your chickens look way more game-bird-colored than ours. Nice meal!
 
Cheers! The pics were taken with flash as it was dark, if you mean those pink wings in the first pic, those were the plum marinated ones.
 
Been a long night of drinkin. Starting to run out of beer and we are starting to get hungry.
Only got leftovers in the fridge. Papa Asadas and brisket w/ rice noodles for pho.
I can work with that.
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Grabbed a few ripe peppers, rocoto, Jobito, trepidera Werner, cpl others saute with onions
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Mix in some sour cream then Layer in the pan papas then pepper/onion and a little fresh onion
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Top that with the brisket and season salt pepper coriander cumin
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More papas mix then peppers and onions.
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Mix eggs and rice noodles seasoned with salt oregano and some calvins 2.0
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Pour it into the pan
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Bake for 30-40 min topped w/ fresh chop onion and chadder cheese.
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Get drunk. Open fridge. Grab some shit.
 
Yup looks good, but not the kind of recipe you jot down lol!
 
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