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Speeding in Pennsylvania : 1) Good: An Erie , PA policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem. A twelve-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand-painted sign, which read 'RADAR TRAP AHEAD.' Officer then found a young...

SMART ASS Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store.. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're...

Life is Difficult….. After Monday & Tuesday, Even the calendar says W T F

Best Excuse Ever A Wyoming senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing!" he thought as he flew down I-80...

Marriage - Part I Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that...

IT'S TIME TO OFFEND EVERYONE Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem? A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A. A different bar Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby? A. Sum Ting Wong Q. What do you call it...

A very successful attorney parked his brand new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out, a truck came along too closely and completely tore off the driver's door. Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and...

Are you guys tired of the jokes yet?

7 DEGREES OF BLONDE FIRST DEGREE A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up. The husband said, 'Who was that?' The wife...

SELF EXAMINATION FOR ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE ....It takes less than 15 seconds.... If you are over 40 yrs. old, you SHOULD take this Alzheimer's Test. See how fast can you guess these words and fill-in the blanks? 1. _ _NDOM 2. F_ _K 3. P_N_S 4. PU_S_ 5. S_X 6. BOO_S...

Little Johnny's at it again..... A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?' 'No...

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.... Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil...

Senior trying to set a password WINDOWS: Please enter your new password. USER: cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters. USER: boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. USER: 1 boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password...

cool! Thanks for the chance.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a jewelry box to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight...

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up...

I AM RICH O.M.G., I'm rich! Silver In The Hair Gold In The Teeth Crystals In The Kidneys Sugar In The Blood Lead In The Ass Iron In The Arteries And An Inexhaustible Supply Of Natural Gas. I Never Thought I'd Accumulate Such Wealth!

The Lone Ranger and Tonto The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see? ' The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see...

Exams STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% IN AN EXAM - AND HOW HE DID IT Personally, I would have given him 100% Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid Q4. What...

Eight Words with Two Meanings 1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female...... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-NE-Ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male..... Playing football without a cup. 3...