It's getting old!
-
We welcome content that is not political, divisive, or offensive. If we feel your content leans this way or has the potential to, it may be removed at any time. A hot pepper forum is not the place for such content. Thank you for respecting the community!
Breaking News!!!!!!!@
- Thread starter imaguitargod
- Start date
Best news I've seen in a while......
Dateline: Batteryville, USA. .
Executives of Energizer batteries are greatly saddened to report the DEATH of the Energizer Bunny. He was found at his hutch, early this morning, by his Chauffeur. A local Veterinary Coroner was called in to examine the body and ascertain the cause of Death. His report follows:
Patient: Energizer Bunny
Age: 22 years
Height 2'-11"
Weight 31 lbs
Race: Pink bunny
Apparent marks or evidence of injury: NONE
Notes from physician performing Autopsy:
Subject is pink, with no discernible tattoos or other markings. Sunglasses appear to be a permanent fixture to the subjects face. No evidence of blunt trauma, bruising, abrasions, contusions or punctures. No evidence of burns or chemical contamination.
Upon surgical internal examinaton of the subjects organs, it was found that the subjects heart had apparently burst from catastrophic overload or stress.
Further examination of the subject revealed that the patients notorious "Battery Pack" was intact. however it appears that the battery had been installed with reversed polarity.
Summation of examination:
Subject suffered a massive heart attack, apparently caused by the improper installation of the battery in the receptacle. Given the advertising claim from the Subjects employer, that he kept "Going and going and going", it is only logical to presume that due to the reversed battery polarity the subject kept "Coming and Coming and Coming" until heart failure ensued.
Refer subject to morgue for final disposition of the body.
Signed:
Alfred E. Newman DVD, CD, Pro-AM
__________________
BTW I heard the battery joke 20 years ago.
Executives of Energizer batteries are greatly saddened to report the DEATH of the Energizer Bunny. He was found at his hutch, early this morning, by his Chauffeur. A local Veterinary Coroner was called in to examine the body and ascertain the cause of Death. His report follows:
Patient: Energizer Bunny
Age: 22 years
Height 2'-11"
Weight 31 lbs
Race: Pink bunny
Apparent marks or evidence of injury: NONE
Notes from physician performing Autopsy:
Subject is pink, with no discernible tattoos or other markings. Sunglasses appear to be a permanent fixture to the subjects face. No evidence of blunt trauma, bruising, abrasions, contusions or punctures. No evidence of burns or chemical contamination.
Upon surgical internal examinaton of the subjects organs, it was found that the subjects heart had apparently burst from catastrophic overload or stress.
Further examination of the subject revealed that the patients notorious "Battery Pack" was intact. however it appears that the battery had been installed with reversed polarity.
Summation of examination:
Subject suffered a massive heart attack, apparently caused by the improper installation of the battery in the receptacle. Given the advertising claim from the Subjects employer, that he kept "Going and going and going", it is only logical to presume that due to the reversed battery polarity the subject kept "Coming and Coming and Coming" until heart failure ensued.
Refer subject to morgue for final disposition of the body.
Signed:
Alfred E. Newman DVD, CD, Pro-AM
__________________
BTW I heard the battery joke 20 years ago.