As many of you know, I teach driver's ed for a paycheck these days....
Last night makes me want to reevaluate things.
I had this Cuban immigrant who thinks she's a good driver and won't listen to a damn thing any instructor has to tell her. She constantly runs stop signs, red lights, dive bombs other lanes, you name it...she does it. Then she says, "Put I'mba goot driber, no? I'mba doink goot!"
The bitch almost killed me last night.
So, here we are.... Last lesson: Highway Driving
big hint
HER: "I'mba nebber driben on da highway berfoea."
ME: "You'll do fine. It's just like a big street, but a little faster, and no red lights."
She get's in the driver's seat and crosses herself... "Jeebuz watch ober me." I just roll my eyes and tell her to fire it up.
She actually did better than normal on the city streets, and I was pretty impressed with the fact she was following the rules of the road. We even got on the highway (I-25) ok... a little slow, but ok.
We finally make it up to 60mph (in a 65) and she starts slowing down. I look over and we're doing 35. "Ummmm, we gotta go a little faster than this." So we get up to 55 and stay there.
Here's where things go terribly wrong.
We're approaching a merge lane and an SUV starts coming over with no turn signal. Just as I was going to tell her to let off the gas to let this guy in. BAM!!! She locks up all 4 tires and we go spinning off to the left. I grab the wheel and try to get us pointed in the right direction... "WHAT THE $%^& ARE YOU DOING?!?! GET THIS CAR GOING NOW!!!!"
I look through the driver's side window and see a ton of cars locking up their brakes and swerving... so I went limp and thought "This is gunna hurt... a lot." After about two seconds, and no impact, I pointed the wheel in the right direction... "HIT THE GAS!!"
"JOO DON'T EBER JELL AT ME! JOO MAKE ME NERBOUS!"
"I tend to yell when I'm about to die. Now get over to the right lane and take the next exit. You fail."
Lock up #2
"If you don't move this mother &^%$ing car RIGHT NOW we will both die. MOVE THE CAR!!!"
**boohoo** "Joo made me NERBOUS. Joo no need to jell at me like dat."
"Turn right, get this damn car off the road. We're going back to the school. We're finished."
"I tol joo I'mba nebber been on da highway beforea"
"I have had a lot of other students that have never been on the highway, and NONE of them have almost killed me."
So, I made her drive all the way back to the school listening to her bitch about me yelling, and how she has never driven on the highway....
Then when we finally get back to the school, she runs and tells me boss that I yelled at her for no reason!!!!!
After she left the bossman and I have a little discussion. He made a note in her file. "Any damages or repair need to the silver '08 Cobalt will be charged to (student). No further driving driving instruction will be allowed."
Then I came home and had a few frosty adult beverages.
Last night makes me want to reevaluate things.
I had this Cuban immigrant who thinks she's a good driver and won't listen to a damn thing any instructor has to tell her. She constantly runs stop signs, red lights, dive bombs other lanes, you name it...she does it. Then she says, "Put I'mba goot driber, no? I'mba doink goot!"
The bitch almost killed me last night.
So, here we are.... Last lesson: Highway Driving
HER: "I'mba nebber driben on da highway berfoea."
ME: "You'll do fine. It's just like a big street, but a little faster, and no red lights."
She get's in the driver's seat and crosses herself... "Jeebuz watch ober me." I just roll my eyes and tell her to fire it up.
She actually did better than normal on the city streets, and I was pretty impressed with the fact she was following the rules of the road. We even got on the highway (I-25) ok... a little slow, but ok.
We finally make it up to 60mph (in a 65) and she starts slowing down. I look over and we're doing 35. "Ummmm, we gotta go a little faster than this." So we get up to 55 and stay there.
Here's where things go terribly wrong.
We're approaching a merge lane and an SUV starts coming over with no turn signal. Just as I was going to tell her to let off the gas to let this guy in. BAM!!! She locks up all 4 tires and we go spinning off to the left. I grab the wheel and try to get us pointed in the right direction... "WHAT THE $%^& ARE YOU DOING?!?! GET THIS CAR GOING NOW!!!!"
I look through the driver's side window and see a ton of cars locking up their brakes and swerving... so I went limp and thought "This is gunna hurt... a lot." After about two seconds, and no impact, I pointed the wheel in the right direction... "HIT THE GAS!!"
"JOO DON'T EBER JELL AT ME! JOO MAKE ME NERBOUS!"
"I tend to yell when I'm about to die. Now get over to the right lane and take the next exit. You fail."
Lock up #2
"If you don't move this mother &^%$ing car RIGHT NOW we will both die. MOVE THE CAR!!!"
**boohoo** "Joo made me NERBOUS. Joo no need to jell at me like dat."
"Turn right, get this damn car off the road. We're going back to the school. We're finished."
"I tol joo I'mba nebber been on da highway beforea"
"I have had a lot of other students that have never been on the highway, and NONE of them have almost killed me."
So, I made her drive all the way back to the school listening to her bitch about me yelling, and how she has never driven on the highway....
Then when we finally get back to the school, she runs and tells me boss that I yelled at her for no reason!!!!!
After she left the bossman and I have a little discussion. He made a note in her file. "Any damages or repair need to the silver '08 Cobalt will be charged to (student). No further driving driving instruction will be allowed."
Then I came home and had a few frosty adult beverages.
sorry you almost died, but that cracked my shit up! I nebba drob on da highway befo hahaha
hell almost anything but that...