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sex (2 part)

chilehunter

chilehunter

$7 SEX


A Floridacouple, both well into their 80s, go to
a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'
The
man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'
The doctor raises
both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking
for sexual advice that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely
nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.'



He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges
them $50 and he says good bye.


T he next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex
therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.


This happens several weeks in a row.


The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse
with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.


Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm
sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find
out?'


The man says, 'We're not trying to find out
anything.

She's married; so we can't go to her
house.

I'm married; and we can't go to my house.


The Holiday Inn charges $98.

The Hilton charges $139.

We do it here for $50, and
Medicare pays $43 of it, leaving my
net cost of $7.

------------------------------------------------------------


WHY CONDOMS COME IN BOXES OF 3, 6, AND 12


A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the
Boy asks, 'What are these, Dad?'
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, 'Those are called condoms, son.
Men use them to have safe sex.''

Oh I see,' replied the boy.' Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school.'
He looks over the display and picks up a Package of 3 and asks, '
Why are there 3 in this package?' The dad replies,
'Those are for high schoolboys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one For Sunday.'
Cool' says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks,
'Then who are these for?' Those are for college men,' the dad answers,

'TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday and TWO for Sunday.'
'WOW!' exclaimed the boy, 'then who uses THESE?' he asks, picking up a 12Pack.
With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied,
'Those are for Married men. One for January, one for February, one for March........'
 
Woman walks into an accountant's office in Texas and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.
The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and asks, what is your occupation?"

"I'm a whore," she says.

The accountant is somewhat taken back and says, "No, No, No, that won't work. Let's try to rephrase that".

The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl".

"No, that still won't work. Try again."

They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer."

The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?"

"Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year."

"Chicken Farmer it is!”

------------------------------------------------------------------

A woman meets a man in a bar. *They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.*They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment. She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall!

It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.*

There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of Teddy Bears, She is quite impressed by his sensitive side. but doesn't mention this to him.

They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after awhile, she finds herself thinking, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one!
Maybe he could be the future father of my children?" She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly.
They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly,Well,how was it?"

The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek,*looks deeply into her eyes,
and says:


"Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf"
 
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