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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Chico cooking para el TB lass night.
 
Chico makuh teh French style for cooking but no liking to wear skirt.
 
Chico makuh teh appetizer.
 
~ Finger Tabbed Anheuser Busch birra domestica americana ala carte' in a red plastique' flagon ~
 

 
Chico makuh teh entree.
 
~ Hand opened country artisan potato croquettes with melted fromage delicieux and Tabasco tomato vinaigrette reduction ~
 

 
Chico say TB like to be liking bery mucho Chico comida.
 

 
Chico hecho un photographia de la comida.
 

 
Chico onliest uso bery bery best ingredientes. 
 
El mejor que la chingada!
 

 
Chico say TB like for Chico for making selfie.
 
Chico es mucho like to be liking yer womenz.
 
 
Dundé estobar de miños kartoffel püchkins ûn tomāto redućion por favor. Uno mas.

Lūūking fūūking gōōd mang!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKZqGJONH68&sns=em
 
SumOfMyBits said:
Scovie would drink hhhwhiskey out an oil can still half-filled with lube.
 
True Story.
 
Si Senor.
 
That's also how the Tin Man gets his party likkah' drank on too.
 
On another note.
 
I seen on the news that cops up in Gainsville are investigating reports of an individual sneakin' around the college campus and peeing on folks while standing behind them.
 
What's Bear. That guy. doing these days?
 
Coinky dinky?
 
That's one of his MO's ain't it?
 
texas blues said:
 
Si Senor.
 
That's also how the Tin Man gets his party likkah' drank on too.
 
On another note.
 
I seen on the news that cops up in Gainsville are investigating reports of an individual sneakin' around the college campus and peeing on folks while standing behind them.
 
What's Bear. That guy. doing these days?
 
Coinky dinky?
 
That's one of his MO's ain't it?
 
 
That ain't him. At least, not to my knowledge.
 
It's this damn, long winter... still got him hibernating.
 
The SoBe face eater was sloppy.
 
Bear. That guy. would have done it with style.
 
Even mom's love Bear.
 
That guy.
 
On Monday mrs. blues is going to SoFlo and Miami on 'bidness for the week.
 
Bitch.
 
Good  'thang for her Bear is still hibernatin' n' sheeit.
 
Not really drunk... But i had 2 good glasses of new local cabernet! That is a manly wine, not sweetish like 2 years ago. Not that it was bad. It was really good.
But i don't care. Dry red wine is the noblest alcohol form for me. Medium strong one for alcohol, i suppose we are around 13 degrees, quite strong on taste.
 
Here...
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A glass after and one before eating...
 
Bresaola!!!!
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Leftovers are the best. Why spend 30-35 €/kg when with that you spend 4 €/kg?
 
iH7eVviY4hcdY.jpg

 
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Mixed with Asiago butter milk cream... Gooooood!!!!
 
ibnLwREXhAK0TJ.jpg

 
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Now i'm satisfied!
 
Bresaola is one of my favorites!  I love eating it with just olive oil, lemon juice, some pepper, and parmesan cheese! There is a restaurant in Forcola (La Brace) I stopped at on drive back to Milano from Bormio, they made the bresaola there it was amazing. Its hard to find good bresaola here.  I'm not sure I could have enough self control to not eat the bresaola before the pasta was made… But that pasta looks delicious! 
 
Rawkstah said:
Bresaola is one of my favorites!  I love eating it with just olive oil, lemon juice, some pepper, and parmesan cheese! There is a restaurant in Forcola (La Brace) I stopped at on drive back to Milano from Bormio, they made the bresaola there it was amazing. Its hard to find good bresaola here.  I'm not sure I could have enough self control to not eat the bresaola before the pasta was made… But that pasta looks delicious!
Thanks! Yeah it's good! Lemon+parmesan+olive oil is a classic! If you add arugola and pomodorini to that it's still very good. Also pizza with that! With Asiago is great too. That sauce was more or less a fondue and bresaola is perfect fot that!
My only complain is that a bit more salt and bresaola cut less finely would have been better.
 
What is it? Looks like good bacon bits lol. Is it a type of cured salumi
 
Yeah, similar to prosciutto, only made with beef. Or horse (rarer).

bresaola_della_valtellina.jpg


It has a lower fat content than prosciutto (so by far than bacon) and is good for some diets.
But it has a very distinctive flavour. Pretty high regarded thing here.
 
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