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Introducing Bohica Peppers

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someguy

someguy

I would like to introduce my new company Bohica (bend over here it comes again) Peppers.
 
I am a first and last generation pepper farmer.
I am the largest pepper farmer in all of Ames , Ks (pop. 36) .
I am approved by my neighbors to the south. They just love my peppers.
I have upwards of 100 square feet of farm land for peppers.
I am capable of shipping 10 or so peppers every month.
I have expanded my operation by 2% due to the use of Walmart Bags (Thanks for the tip Dale)
 
The reason that I am introducing my company today is because we are about to lose one the largest (in his mind ) pepper farmers of our generation from THP. I believe I can make up for void that his departure will create. Again I can ship 10 or so peppers a month. Also at this time I am looking for loans to expand ( I need more Walmart bags) my business. Now mind you...I will not ever pay you back and will try to make you feel like it is your fault that I won't repay you. I am above all that repayment bullshit. After all I am the pepper god of Ames, Ks (pop. 36) . Below are a couple of pictures of my operation.
 
Disclaimer- My peppers are NOT meant for human consumption.
 
Be sure to hate us on Facebook.
 
Soon to be certified.
 

 
 
Great, Corporate there.However, few things missing 
 
You Must
 
Show up the Rubber stamp FFK. Fresh From Kansas
Show us underneath every pepper leaf and inside the unopened flower of this massive farm that you have "Nothing To Hide"  
Show us some Google links forward by your lawyer 
Show you New Blue reaper
Show us you are moving 1000s of boxes a week, but cant keep the light bill on
Show us  how your strategy of getting chocolate brain strain, from haters  
Show us your 15 face book friends
Show us your haters by giving them a name like "Team Anti-weasel"
Show us you are not going to file another bankruptcy
Show us you are not a thief taking people's money ($4000)
Show us you the new shed where you will process the dry pods
Show us what makes the dry pods move from "not for human consumption" to " consume at your own risk" ...... oh my "lawyer said" ...Ok...I get this one
 
After all your application may be rejected because
 
Sir.
You don't WRITE LIKE THIS
You don't Say PERIOD, I AM DONE HERE, TEXT ME, then comeback again 
You are not using enough facial expressions by adding smiley faces to every thing you say 
You don't whine and blame other for your shitty practices 
You don't lie enough 
You don't say " It is the LAW" then break the law by being a thief 
You don't say I have contractor, while saying, i don't know if I will be able to sell those peppers.
 
Sir.
If there is something that will get you application rejected it is your small Ego. you DON'T have the right size ego to claim to be the largest grower
go to the gym workout, get your ego bigger before applying for such title.  
You don't have all years round fresh peppers that only starts setting pods in late June, but take the money in January 
You don't have your massive corporate operation planted in pots. To be the largest grower you must have ALL your plants in pots. While i see you are trying to comply with the LAW of massiveness  by showing one plant in a pot, this is still not enough to call you the largest, pull all them plants out of the ground and re-pot them please. rules are, you can only be called the largest if you are planting in pots.
 
Sir.
I think  you still need to take more weaseling classes before you can run such operation and before the DPS. Department of BS can approve your application 
Meanwhile, you can still sell your pods under your Nursery Registration Number  
 
hogleg said:
:rofl: :rofl:
 
your chocolate reaper plants look very healthy :P
Click to expand...
Thank you , but to be correct they Double Chocolate Fudge Reapers. We will see what happens. I may have to burn the Fudge Reaper raised bed.

PepperLover said:
Great, Corporate there.However, few things missing 
 
You Must
 
Show up the Rubber stamp FFK. Fresh From Kansas
Show us underneath every pepper leaf and inside the unopened flower of this massive farm that you have "Nothing To Hide"  
Show us some Google links forward by your lawyer 
Show you New Blue reaper
Show us you are moving 1000s of boxes a week, but cant keep the light bill on
Show us  how your strategy of getting chocolate brain strain, from haters  
Show us your 15 face book friends
Show us your haters by giving them a name like "Team Anti-weasel"
Show us you are not going to file another bankruptcy
Show us you are not a thief taking people's money ($4000)
Show us you the new shed where you will process the dry pods
Show us what makes the dry pods move from "not for human consumption" to " consume at your own risk" ...... oh my "lawyer said" ...Ok...I get this one
 
After all your application may be rejected because
 
Sir.
You don't WRITE LIKE THIS
You don't Say PERIOD, I AM DONE HERE, TEXT ME, then comeback again 
You are not using enough facial expressions by adding smiley faces to every thing you say 
You don't whine and blame other for your shitty practices 
You don't lie enough 
You don't say " It is the LAW" then break the law by being a thief 
You don't say I have contractor, while saying, i don't know if I will be able to sell those peppers.
 
Sir.
If there is something that will get you application rejected it is your small Ego. you DON'T have the right size ego to claim to be the largest grower
go to the gym workout, get your ego bigger before applying for such title.  
You don't have all years round fresh peppers that only starts setting pods in late June, but take the money in January 
You don't have your massive corporate operation planted in pots. To be the largest grower you must have ALL your plants in pots. While i see you are trying to comply with the LAW of massiveness  by showing one plant in a pot, this is still not enough to call you the largest, pull all them plants out of the ground and re-pot them please. rules are, you can only be called the largest if you are planting in pots.
 
Sir.
I think  you still need to take more weaseling classes before you can run such operation and before the DPS. Department of BS can approve your application 
Meanwhile, you can still sell your pods under your Nursery Registration Number  
Click to expand...
Miss Judy,
 
I know that you only have the best intentions in mind when giving me such sound business advice , but you forget I am the Pepper God of Ames,Ks (pop. 36) :rolleyes:  Sure you have probably been doing this for many years , but I feel that I know everything that there is to know about everything. So I will not heed your advice. I am DONE WITH THIS BS!!!!! :hell:  I have one pod that will be ripe in a few days . So I MUST get pictures of it on the Interweb so someone can pre-order it. Why must you HATERS be HATIN' The Pepper God of Ames,Ks (pop. 36) ? I am outta here ! Don't Call Don't Text Don't Come Over!!!!! :tear: :confused: :P :hot:
 
 
Also all further correspondence should be be set to my Lawyer Joe Schmoe Esquire the Turd
 
someguy said:
 
I know that you only have the best intentions in mind when giving me such sound business advice , but you forget I am the Pepper God of Ames,Ks (pop. 36) :rolleyes:  Sure you have probably been doing this for many years , but I feel that I know everything that there is to know about everything. So I will not heed your advice. I am DONE WITH THIS BS!!!!! :hell:  I have one pod that will be ripe in a few days . So I MUST get pictures of it on the Interweb so someone can pre-order it. Why must you HATERS be HATIN' The Pepper God of Ames,Ks (pop. 36) ? I am outta here ! Don't Call Don't Text Don't Come Over!!!!! :tear: :confused: :P :hot:
 
 
Also all further correspondence should be be set to my Lawyer Joe Schmoe Esquire the Turd
Click to expand...
 
Now you are on the right track.
Yes more of that BOLD, CAP, faces will help qualify you to the title of the largest grower 
You still need to blame others for your problems though 
 
And don't forget about us trolling wannabe copycat vendors who cyberstalk you on your page by putting up legitimate reviews of how you screwed us over and your bad business practices on your FB page. Set it up so you can delete all the reviews after two people post bad ones, and have the "post by others" section in such a small area of the FB page, most people pass it right by.
 
And remember, your "FREE SHIPPING AS ALWAYS" means that people have to pay shipping for any and all replacement products, but only after jumping through hoops. And don't forget to be belligerent, condescending, and just plain nasty to them, accuse them of lying!!!!!
 
:hot: :onfire: UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE :fireball: :hot:
 
 
tHIS PLACE IS ONE FIRE!!! woot WOOT... :fireball: 
 
I hAVE just spent the last8 minutes gettin my process facility up to code.
Check this shit out.
 

 
 
IVE GOT THE NEWEST HOTTEST MOST EXCITING PEPPER TO EVER HIT THE STREETS!!!!!!!!!!!! :liar: 
iT IS SO NEW MY CORPORATION HASNT NAMED IT YET. i THINK MY 1 OR 2 FACEBOOK FOLLOWERS SHOULD NAME IT. 
 
a LITTLE BACKGROUND ON THIS BEAUTY. iT WAS FOUND ON AN UNINHABITED ISLAND BY SOME PEOPLE THAQT WERE SHIPWRECKED. oNE OF THE CASTAWAYS WAS A PROFESSOR AND HE REALIZED WHAT THE POTENTIAL OF THIS PLANT WAS . sO HE KEPT THE SEEDS SAVE UNTIL HE RETURNED TO CIVILIZATION AND THEM GAVE THE SEEDS TO ME BECAUSE I AM SO awesome!! WOOT WOOT.   tHIS ONE PLANT WAS FOUND ON THE NORTH SHORE OF WHAT IS NOW KNOW AS LESSER GILLIGAN'S ISLE.    :liar:  lET'S HAVE A DRUM ROLL PLEASE :onfire:
 

 
 
tHERE IT IS . ONE OF AN EFFIN KIND.  yA GOTTA LOVE ME FOR BEING SO ME ALL THE TIME WOOT WOOT :hot:
 
As an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church, I hearby christen that mess of a shed "Bohica's Shed de Crapola"
 
elcap1999 said:
And don't forget about us trolling wannabe copycat vendors who cyberstalk you on your page by putting up legitimate reviews of how you screwed us over and your bad business practices on your FB page. Set it up so you can delete all the reviews after two people post bad ones, and have the "post by others" section in such a small area of the FB page, most people pass it right by.
 
And remember, your "FREE SHIPPING AS ALWAYS" means that people have to pay shipping for any and all replacement products, but only after jumping through hoops. And don't forget to be belligerent, condescending, and just plain nasty to them, accuse them of lying!!!!!
Click to expand...
stfu You dont know chit. How dare you tell the Pepper God of Ames,Ks (pop 36) wtf 2 do. Why would you need a replacement from me?  :drooling:  All my pods are awesome just like me. Need i say more? I didnt think so. you are salking me. ive seen you around before. get offin my interweb. Screwed you over? you have screwed me over by giving biased reviews. MY LAWYER WILL BE IN CONTACT WITH YOU VIA EMAIL AND SOME TYPE OF FORM LETTER. we DO NOT F AROUND. I THINK YOU NEED TO GO PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES BEFORE YOU COME BACK AROUND ME. IM OUTTA HERE HATERZZZ
 
Dude that story sounds convincing. The basement will allow you to move the status of your products from "Not for human consumption "  to "Consume with mold at your own risk"  nice work. This new facility will definitely get you approved by the FDA (Fungicide and Deterioration Administration)
 
Nice writing, you still miss my lawyer sent me this link for you all to read and get scared 
 
someguy said:
stfu You dont know chit. How dare you tell the Pepper God of Ames,Ks (pop 36) wtf 2 do. Why would you need a replacement from me?  :drooling:  All my pods are awesome just like me. Need i say more? I didnt think so. you are salking me. ive seen you around before. get offin my interweb. Screwed you over? you have screwed me over by giving biased reviews. MY LAWYER WILL BE IN CONTACT WITH YOU VIA EMAIL AND SOME TYPE OF FORM LETTER. we DO NOT F AROUND. I THINK YOU NEED TO GO PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES BEFORE YOU COME BACK AROUND ME. IM OUTTA HERE HATERZZZ
Click to expand...
 
Don't let the long hair fool you, buddy! I'm a man, and put on manly Florida shorts and sandals! You may be the Pepper God of Ames,KS (pop 36), but I live in Jupiter, the seaside town named after the king of the Roman Gods, God of thunder, lightning, and general awesomeness, beeeeeeyotch. If you want me to stop stalking you, then stop posting in a public forum that all people are free to comment on however they wish. If you don't like it, then go into the Shed de Crapola, and go cry about it while your 1 or 2 FB flunkies stroke your EGO. 
 
OK allyou haterzzzz. I have wasted to much of my valuable time on ya. MY LAWYER HAS ADVISED ME TO TELL YA TO SUCK IT!!! :dance:  I HAVE TO GET TO BED WHILE I STILL HAVE ONE. i have MAJOR ORDER SHIPPING LATER TODAY . so ME AND ALL MY EMPLOYEES ARE PULLING AN ALLNIGHTER. GOT TO GET THE BILLS PAID . THIS BANKRUPTCY JUDGE IS A REAL MFer!!!! i WILL BE BACK TOMORROW SO YOU CAN BOW DOWN TO THE PEPPER GOD OF aMES,KS ( POP. 36).
 
hugs and kisses biatches   woot woot :dance:
 
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