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Might be over before I've started

Chocolate Hab

Chocolate Hab

For those of us who grow chiles or anything else for that matter as a hobby and are married having a supportive spouse is important. Well I just found out my wife is not really all that supportive of my only hobby I have left. Twice today she has belittled me and my gardening. More specifically she called my Earthboxes "tacky" and insinuated that she no longer wants them around. All this past winter she tried to convince me to grass seed over my little in ground garden plot in the back yard so "we" can buy a play set for our 3 year old. I think she is pretty much embarassed that I garden. I have given up all of my other hobbies that kept me away from the house so I could spend more time at home with her and the kid. So after this season is over I'm done. It's hard to continue gardening when your other half belittles, is embarrassed, and sarcastically questions everything you do in your hobby. So I will continue to visit this site and give encouragement and praise but I will just have to live vicariously through yall. :mope:
 
Sometimes you gotta stand up for the little things that keep you sane. Keep the garden.....unless it's at the cost of a marriage. But I understand it is hard to stick with something when someone is always raggin on ya about it. Hope ya stick around for many seasons.
 
My wife hates my hobby as well, constantly complaining that I spend too much time on it and don't do anything with the family, blah, blah, blah. I remind her that she goes to her mothers 2 times a day, and after that visits her sister. She has her things, and I have mine. Not like I go out drinking with the guys everynight. Gardening is a part of who I am and I will never stop. Even if a I no longer have a yard for a proper garden plot, I will have plants in pots on the porch, next to a window, whatever. It is quite relaxing even with the constant fights with bugs, disease, and other countless problems that arise during the season, but it is quite rewarding to get the harvest. Gardening helps me to deal with the stresses of life and is better for my marriage than the wife realizes. Hopefully you can either convince her of the merits of this hobby, or at least find one that better fits your situation.

Good luck!
jacob
 
Try keeping at least a few around and keep growing, its really not fair to lose the only hobby you have left.

Marriage is about tolerance, being considerate and sacrifices. Better stand your ground if you're sacrificing something you like for nothing.

Grass seed the garden and try a smaller earthbox. Or just plan container gardening.
 
Marriage is about tolerance, being considerate and sacrifices. Better stand your ground if you're sacrificing something you like for nothing.
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agree on that.

she's gotta learn to compromise. marriage is about compromises.

if she doesn't want to then what's the point in marriage?

embarrassed? that's plain wrong. my dad keeps telling me that it's so girly to garden, i don't care. i'm growing the world's hottest peppers, what's girly about that?

besides, i'm gonna be a chef. i want the best quality stuff. and the only way to get that is to grow your own.
 
Man. So she's already made you get rid of all of your other hobbies. Now she wants you to stop the only one you have left. Wonder what she's going to bitch about after you quit this one? What's the consequences if you don't stop? She keeps bitching? Sounds to me she just likes to bitch.
 
Wow Choco Hab. That is jacked. Why would somebody be embarassed of someone else gardening? I agree with the above folks, you gotta have the capacity to compromise in marraige. Has she given up all her hobbies for you? I understand there's only so much time in a day, I'm a married family guy too, but c'mon... Sorry to hear that.

Don't know your whole situation, and no disrespect man, but I couldn't hack that. Life's too short.
 
Crudd. As soon as the weather starts getting good in Washington. Hang in there Choc. Hab.
A couple things you may have already considered would be to include her in the gardening process. Try and make it a family affair with some simple education for the toddler. Kids love play'in in the dirt. (I do).
or
Nothing says "I love you" more, than an ornamental pepper plant with dinner reservations tied to it...

I hope things work out for ya buddy sincerly.
 
Sorry to hear that. I don't know you; so I can't really offer an opinion. However; you might want to re-read your own OP, because it says a lot. Cheers and good luck.
 
Tell her that if your hobby becomes hanging out till 3am getting lap dances in a strip club or playing poker in a casino and drinking, you'll stop. But if your hobby is sitting in the backyard watering a pepper plant, she's just gonna have to live with it. What is she going to do? Complain to her friends or family? They'll tell her she's crazy, too.
 
Chocolate Hab said:
For those of us who grow chiles or anything else for that matter as a hobby and are married having a supportive spouse is important. Well I just found out my wife is not really all that supportive of my only hobby I have left. :mope:
Click to expand...

I feel for ya man, you have to turn it into a family thing, like mentioned above. yeah gardening is a hobby but its also a way to provide the best produce available to your family, nothing beats fresh homegrown veggies and if that isnt showing and giving love to your family I dont know what is.
 
WOW. I have absolutely nothing good to say about this situation. It all looks like four letter words starting with the letters a, b, c,...... I am really opinionated and blunt and i believe if a moderator saw the language i am thinking right now he would delete even this reply to your post. F!@#$@#$^#$%^k that B!@#%@#!$%^#$%^&#%^&@#$!#$%@#$h !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What are you going to do if you are stripped away of all the hobbies and pastimes you enjoy?.?.?. What is MARRIAGE all about???

Care.(period) Care about what your spouse enjoys.
Comprimise.(period) Comprimise even if you don't share the same passion.
Support.(period) Support eachother's decisions.

You BOTH need this from eachother. There are no one-way streets. There is no "Do this or else....."

Keep some plants.... Build something for the 3 year old..... and LOVE your wife. But most of all, be a damn man and keep YOURSELF(most important) AND YOUR FAMILY happy....

P.S. This topic is depressing and aggrevating
 
Man that BITES! If you live anywhere near me, you can set up shop in my yard. I have a greenhouse and lots of space and it's yours if you want it. Around here, chile farmers get respect.
 
sounds a bit crazy to me choc hab.. its not like you're out drinking / fooling around.. your growing peppers!! she should be happy about it!!! I say dont chuck in the towel and see if you can come to some kind of compromise.. maybe grow in pots instead of the ground or something..
 
after reading this thread, I realize what a lucky man I am...

sorry for your situation...don't really have anything to suggest...
 
I live in a small house without a garden and my wife complains about having plants everywhere and that I spend to much time taking care of them...
Its all bul$hit if you ask me.
Let me tell you what I've done, I reduced the number of plants to a minimum ( about 10 :( ) and got them all into pots that she loved and that matched the decoration of the house.
Problem solved! She now asks me politelly to put everything in the varanda when we have guests and she chooses the 2 or 3 better looking ones to decorate the living room and the kitchen.

We get along just fine and she's realized its a battle she can't win so we're making plans for buying a house with a garden in a couple of years.

Good luck taming your wife bro.

Bleash
 
Tell her you were getting tired of gardening anyay.

You decided you want to take up Photography.

Specialising in pictures of naked woman for magazines...

Tell her you want to remodle the garage and use it for your studio and that since your starting small you were wondering if a couple of her friends might be interested in a few shoots,so you can just get the hang of things.

Suddenly she decides to double the number of those cute little earth box thingies you can have. :)
 
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