Two dwarves go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms. The first dwarf is unable to get an erection and his depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, all he can hear is his little friend shouting, 'Here I come again... one, two, three... uuh!' In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, 'How did it go?' The first mutters, 'It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get a hard on." The second dwarf shook his head. 'You think that's embarrassing? I couldn't even get up on the bed.'
I told my girlfriend that I'd always wanted to have sex with her in a sexy little nurses uniform. Surprisingly, she told me it was also one of her fantasies, and that she's love to indulge me. When it came down to it though she hit the roof!
Apparently, she thought she'd be wearing the uniform.
Two aliens landed near an abandoned petrol station.
They approached one of the petrol pumps, and one of the aliens addressed it,
"Greetings, Earthling. Take us to your leader."
The pump didn't respond. The alien repeated the greeting. No response. The alien, annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's naughty attitude, said impatiently,
"Greetings, Earthling. Take us to your leader, or I'll fire!"
The other alien shouted to his comrade
"No, don't make him mad!"
Before he finished his warning, the first alien fired. There was a huge explosion that blew them 200 meters into the woods, where they landed in a heap. When they finally regained consciousness, the one who fired turned to the other one and said,
"What a ferocious creature. How did you know it was so dangerous?"
"If there's one thing I've learned during my travels through the galaxy...any guy who can wrap his dick around himself twice and then stick it in his own ear, is someone you shouldn't mess with!"
Yeah the "financial crisis" or "the outright theft of money by people that say they have our best interests at heart but really couldn't give a rats ass as long as they don't have to lift a finger to feed themselves crisis" has affected Australia as well. Like you say jobs are very thin however i am very fortunate in the fact that we run a family business.
Best of luck with finding a job that lets you sit on your ass all day. I used to drive around 600km a day in a windscreen repair van and enjoyed it