Wait until he goes to Las Vegas or Denver and then pay 3x what someone closer to the coast would pay and hope for the best. Or go out to the lake, slay some cutthroat or splakes and smoke 'em.
Do you like living where you live?
Amen to that! I love those good old crispy towels that you hold onto for years despite them being frayed to hell with more holes than towel... Then the wife throws them away without notice... :(
Everytime I drive anywhere: Got my cruise control set to the speed limit (70mph).
Trucker blows my...
That I "LIKE" to cook?
Home: Soups, Indian and Asian dishes, countless sauces.
Da restaurant: Pizzas (because I out pizza the hut).
Have you ever made a meal so bad that neither you, nor your dog, would/could eat it?
When you get to the register and realize your basket contains nothing but Mexican food, laxatives and a big pack of toilet paper... Didn't think that one through...