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Customer Service

Customer Service...

This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story f rom the WordPerfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.

Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired, however he is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."

This is the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I know why they record these conversations) starts here:

Employee--"Rich Hall, Computer Assistance; may I help you?"

Customer--"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Employee--"What sort of trouble?"

Customer--"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden, the words went away."

Employee--"Went away?"

Customer--"They disappeared."

Employee--"Hmmm So what does your screen look like now?"

Customer--"Nothing."

Employee--"Nothing?"

Customer--"It's a blank; it won' t accept anything when I type."

Employee--"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

Customer--"How do I tell?"

Employee--"Can you see the 'C:' prompt on the screen?"

Customer--"What is a sea prompt?"

Employee--"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

Customer--"There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

Employee--"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

Customer--"What's a monitor?"

Employee--"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

Customer--"I don't know"

Employee--"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

Customer--"Yes, I think so."

Employee--"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

Customer--"Yes, it is."

Employee--"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

Customer--"No."

Employee--"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

Customer--"Okay, here it is."

Employee--"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

Customer--"I can't reach."

Employee--"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

Customer--"No."

Employee--"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

Customer--"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle, it's because it's dark."

Employee--"Dark?"

Customer--"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

Employee--"Well, turn on the office light then."

Customer--"I can't."

Employee--"No? Why not?"

Customer--"Because there's a power failure."

Employee--"A power.......a power failure?.... Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and the packing stuff your computer came in?"

Customer--"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Employee--"Good.. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from".

Customer--"Really? Is it that bad?"

Employee--"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Customer--"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

Employee--"Tell them you're too damned stupid to own a computer...
 
I worked at an Internet helpdesk for a couple of years, and I can confirm, people as stupid as this really do exist...
 
Yep. I've dealt with people like that before. Straight up told them that they were stupid (after spending an eternity troubleshooting with them), and they still wanted someone to come over to take a look at the machine. So, I'd head on over to their location, and end up turning on the LCD projector for them and charging them an extra $50. I'd always list it as a PIA fee on the invoice.
 
it only took 1 year for people to notice this post :rolleyes:

DD - whats a PIA fee ? if it was PAI I'd figure it meant " People Are Idiots " :lol:
 
chilehunter said:
it only took 1 year for people to notice this post :rolleyes:

DD - whats a PIA fee ? if it was PAI I'd figure it meant " People Are Idiots " :lol:

PIA = Pain In the Ass

I never got asked what is was...ever. You're the first. :lol:

My boss never questioned it because he was making money.
 
DD - I'm surprised no one ever asked, I would of asked what it was. did you ever have a back up plan incase someone did ask ? like a different meaning, instead of standing there & saying ummmm awww well its just one of those computer things :lol:
 
I gave up doing on-site work. I met families living in garages who needed a couple of hours tech work just to get online to talk to their families & I couldn't bring myself to charge them.
& yes, there were sooo many where you drive across town to click two buttons & everything worked fine.....hard to charge them too.
Funny now, I get jobs from all over the globe. no-one knows where I am or even my real name, but if they need their data from a dead or virus ridden hard-drive & the big Co's can't get it...it turns up here....with a small grovelling note lol.
I recover their stuff, check out their finances & then decide how much to charge, if anything.
Most I ever charged was for an Auctioneer in Sydney, he was selling up farmers properties for the banks in the midst of the drought. His data included pricing for their bed sheets & cutlery...add to that he was a big suit wearing obnoxious slob...I took him to the cleaners lol.
 
cap lover said:
WOOHOO BENT!!! BTW that orange hab avatar is the perfect shade of orange :P

Hey - a belated thank-you.

that orange hab was one of my 'bonzai' habs {theres a thread about them in here somewhere}
They only grew 2 or 3 pods at a time but all came out that deep orange color. On about the 3rd generation the plants really started to struggle so I put one in the ground for a season.
Come to think of it - it's about time to get some seed from it & try again.
they are a nice winter crop, I like to grow one in a shower caddy from my office window.
 
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