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Dear THE TB,

geeme

geeme

This is an open letter to THE TB (a.k.a. "Texas Blues", "The Bluester", and "Mr. Blues" to Mrs. Blues.) If you have a kitchen conundrum just post it here and I'm sure THE TB will enlighten all of us with his culinary jewels of wisdom.
 
Dear THE TB,
 
I am too lazy to make my own refried beans. There. I said it. Besides, I really like the La Preferada brand of Spicy Chipotle and Jalapeno refrieds, and it's just too darned easy to pop open a can whenever the need arises. Which is about once a week. The onliest thing.... and this is pretty much true of all canned refrieds.... is it really looks like you're just digging a bunch of poop out of a can after you open them. I'm not sure which is worse - the ones that look like someone hasn't taken a dump for a week or the ones that look like a bad case of Montezuma's Revenge.
 
What's a lazy cook to do????
 
Hugs and Kisses, but always with deepest respect,
 
geeme
 
Dear THE TB,
 
I know it's an affront that those ^ guys don't know how to properly address a letter, but I'm sure in all your graciousness you can forgive them. They're not from Texas, you know. :rofl:
 
XXXOOO
 
geeme
 
P.S. And the nerve of them, to not even ask a culinary question!
 
I know why she asked him now... he's an expert on food that looks like poop.
 
tb_quinoa_corn.jpg
tb_quinoa_corn_patty.jpg
 
geeme said:
This is an open letter to THE TB (a.k.a. "Texas Blues", "The Bluester", and "Mr. Blues" to Mrs. Blues.) If you have a kitchen conundrum just post it here and I'm sure THE TB will enlighten all of us with his culinary jewels of wisdom.
 
Dear THE TB,
 
I am too lazy to make my own refried beans. There. I said it. Besides, I really like the La Preferada brand of Spicy Chipotle and Jalapeno refrieds, and it's just too darned easy to pop open a can whenever the need arises. Which is about once a week. The onliest thing.... and this is pretty much true of all canned refrieds.... is it really looks like you're just digging a bunch of poop out of a can after you open them. I'm not sure which is worse - the ones that look like someone hasn't taken a dump for a week or the ones that look like a bad case of Montezuma's Revenge.
 
What's a lazy cook to do????
 
Hugs and Kisses, but always with deepest respect,
 
geeme
Click to expand...
 
 
Geeme, TB can't respond until you rewrite your post in Haiku. Only then will he understand.
 
   Use a huge container (>10 gallons) or give it lots of space in raised bed with really deep soil. Either mix in lots of balanced organic fertilizer before you plant, or plan on using a chemical fertilizer on a regular basis.
     Pick off all flowers until it gets huge and pissed off. In late July, when it's like 6'tall and it has all this pent-up sexual energy, start allowing it to flower. Only let a few of them to reach maturity. You want some insurance in case one or two pods don't make it, yet you don't want the plant wasting a bunch of energy on non-winning pods. 
     Pick the pod and fire roast it on a grill along with some serranos, an onion and garlic. Peel the veggies and blend them up with some lime juice, cilantro and salt. Open a bottle of tequila and a bag of corn chips (You are a THP member now, these should be coming in the mail soon. Along with JayT's hotdog recipe booklet and texas blues' "101 Things to Never Do with a Jalapeño" 5th edition.) Eat the chips and "salsa de chile gigantica". Drink waaaaay too much tequila and post pics of that salsa in "Drunken Chef". Take your place in THP history.
     Oh, and take pics.
 
 
 
 
Dear the TB,
 
      What exactly are the 101 thing to never do with a jalapeño. Also, when will your 6th edition be available? Amazon Prime???

http://thehotpepper.com/topic/54574-largest-pepper/?hl=%2Bhotdog+%2Bbooklet#entry1161808
 
 
 
     I like this thread. It's going south in such... style! 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
also,  :drunk: 
 
Dear THE TB,
I have a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.
The directions state that I should boil the water and add the pasta.
What is the most effective and efficient way to complete this laborius task.
Thanks in advance for your help,
Hops
 
Dear TB, 
 
I have a question that's been bothering me for some time. 
 
If I carefully prepare a tofu burger, season it perfectly, and bake the bun myself, and then apply only the freshest, most perfectly cut condiments like tomato, pickles, lettuce, red onion and a fried egg before serving it to you, how long would it take you to throw it on the ground? 
 
Asking for a friend, 
 
How's the hangover geeme?
 
Dear THE TB,
 
Don't worry, those folks don't know that Texans don't have to be drunk to have fun!
 
And shame on the ones who STILL haven't learned how to properly address a letter to you. Maybe they'll eventually learn by the solid examples set by others.
 
But, sugar, where is your presence in this thread? We are breathlessly awaiting a response from THE TB! In the meantime, I've managed to entirely avoid cooking anything today, including canned refried beans. But now I have another conundrum as I have a pork loin in the freezer that seems to want to be thawed and cooked, only I haven't quite figured out what to do with it. I've grown rather fond of tenderloin, so the loin is just languishing away. What pearls of wisdom can you share with us to make pork loin more tender and juicy? And do canned refried beans go with tenderloin? Inquiring minds want to know!
 
XXXOOO
 
gee
 
 
P.S. for TNR - YES! :D
 
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