verbal abuse is abuse.... this kid is sure experiencing it.....the way my daddy raised me.. get in trouble....and go to prison.. dont call me... guess what... it worked... im sure this mom was treated like this when she was younger... someones gotta break the generation of abuse
Hot sauce punishment!!!
- Thread starter KiNGDeNNiZ
- Start date
well when i was little i used to get mustard first then when that didnt work i started getting hot sauce and now look at me right here on thehotpepper forum lol so i dont think it messed me up tooo much.... i never got a cold shower damn that kid must of hated that
Abuse....lol. Give me a break, sissification is right. It's not the punishment that effect the child, it's a situation where there is a lack of love and encouragement that does the damage. You can get fired up at a kid, sauce him and shower him and he'll understand but if when he isn't being bad, you don't give him/her love and encouragement, that's when they get emotionally f'd up. Punish them but love them too. Gotta show the love. This might seem like it's so bad because of the child reaction but give me a break, my buddy tells his daughter to get off the counter, takes her down off and she lays on the ground crying bloody murder...if anything she was just a bit too fired up....kids need punishing though.
Kids that don't get proper punishment find it difficult to succeed in the workplace.
Fixed it for you.
I tell my daughter all the time that we only have so many years to teach her how to behave before we have to release her into the world and the world isn't going to put up with her crap. Punishments are parents way of guiding and steering the kids, but as 3/5 points out, it has to be done with love.
Just because someone did something to you and you turned out ok doesn't mean its not wrong to put someone into pain. Teaching a kid not to do something simply because they will be hurt by you doesn't teach them the reason why what they did was wrong in the first place, its more likely to teach them to just try to not get caught the next time..
-edit- Was about to erase this because I thought about it and I'm new and dont want anyone to think I'm trying to start some kind of argument, but since blue quoted it its too late, I stand by my opinion but thats as far as I'm going to go talking/debating it.
-edit- Was about to erase this because I thought about it and I'm new and dont want anyone to think I'm trying to start some kind of argument, but since blue quoted it its too late, I stand by my opinion but thats as far as I'm going to go talking/debating it.
You can debate (Welcome to the forum BTW) as long as you practice proper respect for others and their opinion, then you will be all good. Don't feel afraid to have an opinion and voice it regardless of who agrees.
I will have to say that I respectfully do not agree with you. Kids need to be punished. Kids do not understand reason and logic, they understand emotion. You don't have to yell and scream when you tell them what they did wrong but they do need punishment. Whether it be sauce in the mouth, cold shower, sent to their room, spanked, put in a corner, etc. The fact of the matter is, they can't comprehend that it is wrong unless you punish them. This is how we relate to them that something is wrong and that they should not do it. This builds a foundation for reason, that they will use in the future.
Kids understand emotions; anger, fear, sadness, happiness, hurt...it's the way they process things when they are young. You cannot sit down and have a conversation with a young child and expect him to understand the severity of what he has done and why he shouldn't do it. He will listen to what you are saying but won't grasp what it means. Punishment get's this across to them, they understand it. As long as you are a good parent outside of the punishing, then things will be alright, e.g. showing your child after the punishment that you love them and you are only doing this to make them understand that this is wrong and there are consequence for their actions.
King I agree with some form of punishment. I understand them not processing. But the punishment has to be followed by affection. As you stated they understand emotion A hug. A lower tOne of voice. Clearly all this mother does is punish verbally and mentally. Hem my girls get in trouble. I remind them of the whys and hug them. Ensure that I love them. My lil one cries and says. I'm crying coz "you're mad at me.". We used to before tell her to stop crying. Then u see her hold it in and makes it worse for her. Feels more bad about what she did. Now we "let it out and cry " and let her explain. This is a 4 year old. So there is some processing.
Talk about things that make you go humm.
While I agree that yes when a child does wrong there needs to be a consequence, but this isn’t why to do it. As a Licensed Foster Parent first thing I can say is if I used these methods on a child I’d be in jail in a heartbeat on child abuse charges. I can also say that as this involves an adopted child, if this child was a foster child and adopted through a fostering agency then she is so far off base in how she’s handling it that it’s no wonder that she’s continuing to have to deal with this problem. Foster children and those that have been through the foster system cannot be punished using a corporal form of punishment, not just because it’s illegal to punish them that way but because it’s ineffective. Some of the kids that come through the system have been through so much “stuff” from their biological parents that nothing corporal would be effective. So, we have to develop out of the box methods for giving not only consequences but instant reward too. The biggest one we have is using what’s called a discipline ladder. Kids do good they go up which gives them more privileges and if they break a rule they lose them. The absolute worst thing I can do to my son as a consequence is to take away his TV and Video Game privilege and boy does it get his attention when it happens so it is highly effective and from what I saw in the video it’s the kind of system that this lady needs to learn. JMHO.
RM
While I agree that yes when a child does wrong there needs to be a consequence, but this isn’t why to do it. As a Licensed Foster Parent first thing I can say is if I used these methods on a child I’d be in jail in a heartbeat on child abuse charges. I can also say that as this involves an adopted child, if this child was a foster child and adopted through a fostering agency then she is so far off base in how she’s handling it that it’s no wonder that she’s continuing to have to deal with this problem. Foster children and those that have been through the foster system cannot be punished using a corporal form of punishment, not just because it’s illegal to punish them that way but because it’s ineffective. Some of the kids that come through the system have been through so much “stuff” from their biological parents that nothing corporal would be effective. So, we have to develop out of the box methods for giving not only consequences but instant reward too. The biggest one we have is using what’s called a discipline ladder. Kids do good they go up which gives them more privileges and if they break a rule they lose them. The absolute worst thing I can do to my son as a consequence is to take away his TV and Video Game privilege and boy does it get his attention when it happens so it is highly effective and from what I saw in the video it’s the kind of system that this lady needs to learn. JMHO.
RM