BEFORE WE BEGIN
Thanks to all of my fans that pulled me over to thehotpepper.com, I really don't know why I didn't come here a few years back when starting out -- but the important thing is, I am here now. I can't wait to scheme with you all on ways to take over the world using an army of Ninjas (and Attack-Pandas that wield plasma rifles)... all in the name of hot sauce.
GOT YOUR ATTENTION?
Great! In order to start our plans for world domination, the first part is getting you all my tasty hot sauce. Look how majestic it is!!! You know you want to get a bottle right now using our "Teleportation delivery method" where you can have it beamed to your table this instant...
... well too bad - because we estimate that "Teleportation" will cost about 1.4 billion dollars to research and build. So until then, we need you to fund this vital technology through more traditional means -- buying online and mailing it
Once we successfully raise the funds to fully develop Sauce-Teleporting -- only then can we start teleporting the Ninjas and Angry-Pandas as well (they will eventually conquer the world for us).
SO HOW DO YOU GET OUR AWESOME DISCOUNT?
You are in luck -- I am running a 20% off promotion right now (APRIL 2015) due to my friends at the famous "Dollar Shave Club" highlighting me as an awesome guy (seriously - check it out: http://blog.dollarshaveclub.com/hot-maple/)
All you have to do to receive 20% off is pretend you are a DSC member by entering this coupon code: DSC4life on my website http://www.hotmaple.com
Through the power of technology and the magical elves that I found to run my server farm... a series of calculations will then occur to grant you 20% off all hot sauce in your shopping cart. How cool!
So yeah... come get some of the original Hotmaple Smokey Habanero Hot Sauce, and fill in a special request in the order notes -- you'll be surprised what we are willing to do.
The Ninja-panda will be pleased:
Thanks to all of my fans that pulled me over to thehotpepper.com, I really don't know why I didn't come here a few years back when starting out -- but the important thing is, I am here now. I can't wait to scheme with you all on ways to take over the world using an army of Ninjas (and Attack-Pandas that wield plasma rifles)... all in the name of hot sauce.
GOT YOUR ATTENTION?
Great! In order to start our plans for world domination, the first part is getting you all my tasty hot sauce. Look how majestic it is!!! You know you want to get a bottle right now using our "Teleportation delivery method" where you can have it beamed to your table this instant...
... well too bad - because we estimate that "Teleportation" will cost about 1.4 billion dollars to research and build. So until then, we need you to fund this vital technology through more traditional means -- buying online and mailing it
Once we successfully raise the funds to fully develop Sauce-Teleporting -- only then can we start teleporting the Ninjas and Angry-Pandas as well (they will eventually conquer the world for us).
SO HOW DO YOU GET OUR AWESOME DISCOUNT?
You are in luck -- I am running a 20% off promotion right now (APRIL 2015) due to my friends at the famous "Dollar Shave Club" highlighting me as an awesome guy (seriously - check it out: http://blog.dollarshaveclub.com/hot-maple/)
All you have to do to receive 20% off is pretend you are a DSC member by entering this coupon code: DSC4life on my website http://www.hotmaple.com
Through the power of technology and the magical elves that I found to run my server farm... a series of calculations will then occur to grant you 20% off all hot sauce in your shopping cart. How cool!
So yeah... come get some of the original Hotmaple Smokey Habanero Hot Sauce, and fill in a special request in the order notes -- you'll be surprised what we are willing to do.
The Ninja-panda will be pleased: