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How to maintain your sanity

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice !

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks .Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.

6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

9. Sing Along At The Opera.

10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'


And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WERE THE FITTING ROOM IS..:cool:
 
I've done 1 & 2 a few times......No. 2 is always hard to do without laughing......I once paged the C.E.O. of the company to a non existent meeting for a bet...he was so pissed off....:lol:
 
I like those and will try some of them out today...
 
I like it when I'm playing party poker and someone new comes to the table and they type in the chat box: How's everyone doing. My usual response is: It burns when I pee and then there is a moment of chat silence and then, sorry to here that or something like that.
 
DickT said:
I like it when I'm playing party poker and someone new comes to the table and they type in the chat box: How's everyone doing. My usual response is: It burns when I pee and then there is a moment of chat silence and then, sorry to here that or something like that.

SO YOU ARE THE GUY I LOST ALL MY MONEY TO BECAUSE I FELT SORRY FOR YOU!???

:shocked:
 
DickT said:
I like it when I'm playing party poker and someone new comes to the table and they type in the chat box: How's everyone doing. My usual response is: It burns when I pee and then there is a moment of chat silence and then, sorry to here that or something like that.

Yeah, it's just a hollow phrase. Most people don't really wanna know. Funny turn to tell them what they don't wanna hear...:lol:
 
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