I ain't cookin' no stinkin' turkey!

texas blues

texas blues

My top ten reasons why...
 
 
1. There's just mrs. blues and I this turkey day and she only eats the breast but then won't eat left overs. Turkey is way down on the list of MY favorite meats anyhow.
 
2. When I was a kid, my dear sweet ma made one that had a sweet stuffing that was so awful that to this day I refuse to eat it.
 
3. Anything turkey can do a duck can do better, but since mrs. blues won't eat duck...well that's out too.
 
4. Yesterday she picked up her Honey Baked Ham, non spiral cut. She has bought them before. A couple years ago she got one that was so salty it was inedible even for her. (she loves any 'thang loaded with salt too) We threw that one out after only tasting it. I might have a bite of this one to taste but I don't wanna' eat it for a meal.
 
5. I loathe the whole cooking for 8 hours and a half a dozen sides or more only to spend 15 minutes or less for the actual eating, feeling like a beached walrus afterward, and then spending another hour on the cleanup.
 
6. I'd rather eat the stuff that I always do and stuff I enjoy like shrimp and fish. I don't want to spend a load of jing on special crap that I don't really even care for. Tradition be damned.
 
7. If I'm going to vary from the norm for something special, I'd rather it be something I'm really craving. Right now its a cheeseburger made from chuck that I grind.
 
8. Years ago every holiday season I'd end up gaining 10 or 20 pounds just from all the food over the season. I'd kick myself for that every year.
 
9. WTF is "molded salad" made with green jello, carrots and cream cheese? Sounds like Satan to me. And what about canned green beans with canned mushroom soup and canned fried onions all thrown into a casserole that looks and smells like barf? Plah!
 
10. missylou doesn't give a damn about no stinkin' turkey either unless there's one in the back yard for her to chase and herd to death.
 
SO WHO ELSE AIN"T COOKIN' A STINKIN' TURKEY THIS HOLIDAY SEASON?
 
Not me either. Headed to Mom's this year. She is making it. 
 
We are in charge of the vegetable side dish though. Probably something like this to balance out all the turkey and ham  will eat.  :party:
 
me on turkey day.
 
 
tumblr_m9y0kl6iPD1qhofrso1_500.jpg


Breaking+bones.gif
 
I tried to get away from turkey a number of years ago. My son was totally up for that, but my daughter has a fixation on traditions, and dammit, she wants turkey. HOWEVER . . . also a few years ago I found one can get a boneless turkey roast - I prefer Honeysuckle brand. This is not a "chopped and formed" turkey roast, but a whole, deboned turkey, with white and dark meat where it's supposed to be. We like them, because they only take about 2 hours to cook, and they're always moist (at least, they are the way I cook them.) And my daughter can have her turkey tradition without the mess and fuss over a carcass. They're small, too - you and the Mrs. can have one with only few leftovers if you get the smallest one. 
 
Mind you, my dad grew up on a turkey farm, so there's no way he's going to eat turkey unless you tie him down and force-feed it to him, as they ate turkey ALL THE TIME. But unless you have a similar past, you might seriously try a turkey roast. I also prefer duck, but got booed down for that, as well. Whatever. Majority rules sometimes, even if our congress and senate doesn't think the American majority matters. Thanksgiving will likely always be turkey day in our fam, though I try to add on from time to time - - - nice piece o' flank or ribeye or shrimps or......
 
Edit: btw - in the arena of ham, I also don't care for Honey Baked ham, and agree it's too salty. If you can find a Heavenly Ham in your area, I find they are significantly less salty.
 
I am going duck or lobster. We are going out for thanksgiving this year to the place we had our wedding reception. We have large group so we are going at noon! No worries. I am making a kick ass appetizer spread for later in the day.
 
Has to be smoked. Or I'm not a huge fan either.

The breast, and the giant leg... good smoked. Instead of a 15 pound turkey I'd rather buy a 10 pound breast section and two 2.5 legs and smoke them. 15 pounds of the good stuff. Cut to the chase. Also, it smokes better in sections.

The breast makes great slices and giant legs are good to eat caveman style.

And I love good sides. Soul food style. Collards, mac, roasted brussels, dressing (since it's not stuffed in the bird), etc.

HOMEMADE cranberry hot sauce.
 
Joint I was working for last year took orders for about 60 deep fried turkeys.
 
They fried 'em up on wednesday and all were picked up same day.
 
They were one of the most awful things I've ever seen.
 
They had 4 turkey fryers going out back.
 
Never saw them change the oil and they over cooked the hell out of ever 'thang. 
 
Many were out right burnt.
 
Plah! DF turkey.
Fire up the smoker, it's relaxing. Smoke some sausage for the dressing, smoke a breast section and caveman legs, some mac n cheese... and RIBS too lol. Just put everything on the smoker! :lol:
 
The Hot Pepper said:
Plah! DF turkey.
Fire up the smoker, it's relaxing. Smoke some sausage for the dressing, smoke a breast section and caveman legs, some mac n cheese... and RIBS too lol. Just put everything on the smoker! :lol:
Click to expand...
its amazing to be  around the best cook,food taster of all time! man we are so lucky!! thank you so much!!
 
 
tumblr_mw7wxa01si1qgwei1o1_500.gif
 
texas blues said:
Joint I was working for last year
Click to expand...
TB was this that cafe where you were the chef? I didn't know you left.
 
awesome!!!  the best texas chef of all time,you guys should hook up with that 5 star chef in tampa.
 
 
  its crazy that all of us microwave cooks can even talk to you guys.        
 
 
wtf!!!!1        im just glad all i my sim-ple self can do is order a pizza
 
 
rock on top chefs we all are poor slaves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
 
skeleton-romance-gif.gif


its funny how you think no one that lives in a city has any money or class.
 
 
stupid!
 
The Hot Pepper said:
TB was this that cafe where you were the chef? I didn't know you left.
Click to expand...
 
Yep.
 
They sold the business to another "chef" September 1st. 
 
They laid me off last day of August.
 
New guy and his family run it now.
 
I've been doing music.
 
Good for me.
 
Good for you!

When you open a White Manna in TX, lemme know, I'll be the first customer. You can call it Manna Blues... haha... a play on WM, and Man of Blues. ;)

Burger and blues joint!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top