• If you can't find a "Hot" category that fits, post it here!

My first superhot

I waited with baited breath, mixed with feelings of pre-Christmas excitement, and paralyzing fear. I poured over Youtube videos, posted by seasoned pros, all touting the Yellow 7 as a truly monstrous chile. With a gentle rain falling, I approached the mailbox with the giddiness of a child. There in an unassuming USPS box, wrapped in simple lined paper, were 5 good sized Trinidad Yellow 7 Pots.
Eyeing me with malintent, they seemed to sense my green-ness. I picked up one of the larger pods, a wrinkled golden yellow fading to orange near the stem. It looked almost like a teenie little bell pepper. Choosing the smallest one and thinking to myself, "how bad can it be? I've had Habeneros and Hab based sauces."
I sliced it lengthwise, and immediately smelled the oil permeating from its devilish flesh. I took a sniff. The concentrated oil passed my nose and swirled in my throat like a whirling dervish. Whoa. Upon closer inspection, I noticed the smallest sliver that had been separated upon a bit of hesitation on my part whilst slicing the pod. I snatched it up and gave no hesitation this time, popping it in my mouth, barely enough to chew at all. I was immediately greeted by a pleasant fruitiness. Not citrusy or pineappley, more of a sweet floral note. Then, the 9v battery pinch. The dervish danced again.
I was intoxicated. I planned my next attack. I cut a sliver this time about the profile of about 5 matches removed from their book. At this point, the pepper, mortally wounded by the knife, could be smelt through it's Ziplock coffin from about 4 feet away... with the bag tightly sealed. Even in the throws of death, it planned it's sweet revenge. I unsealed the bag and stabbed my sliver with a toothpick. This part of the pod was heavily wrinkled and a deep golden yellow, the color of the setting sun. With a nod to the gods, I chewed away. The pepper chewed back. The right side of my face, namely my cheek, felt as if that 9v from earlier had exploded. My tongue began to ache. I continued to chew and swallowed as my eyes began to water. As it moved down the hatch, It fought kicking and screaming and landed with a fierce plop in my angry stomach. My esophagus began burining. Nose is starting to run. Drool. Back of ma throat. Tongue pulsing with heat, now as if I've bitten an electric eel on the tail.
5 minutes pass. Throbbing is waning and the faucet has stopped. 10 minutes pass. I can taste the floral sweetness, and my tongue is still letting me know that I've eaten something HOT. An hour or so later... still burping some flowery goodness, but the heat leaves not a trace. I have fought the dragon and won, but the battle has just begun. The sickness has consumed me and the dervish and I will dance again soon.
 
Journalism major? Very nice recap of the events. You can almost taste and smell the pepper along with you.

Welcome to the big show! :mouthonfire:
 
Thanks for the positive feedback! I'm not a journalism major, in fact, didn't go to college. I've found, though, that I can spin a yarn with some inspiration.
 
Back
Top