• Politics are not permitted. There's plenty of places to discuss that elsewhere, and a hot pepper forum is not the place. Thank you for respecting the community!

Poetry, I think.. Feedback? Or roast me, whatever. ;)

Uncle Eckley

Extreme Member
I had a gun.
I shot my face;
I'd had my fun,
Was through with this place.
But the gun didn't do it,
And I'm still around.
There was someone who knew it,
In a park I was found.
A man with no face,
And no heart,
Not making a sound.
Yet still I live,
Quiet and bound,
In a cell that I've made.
Please, set me in shade.
SpeakPolish said:
Pretty good. ABABCDCD pattern. Though there are much more complex poems like sonnets, haikus.
Thanks.  I spent five minutes on it, lol.  It was meant to be ambiguous, read different ways.  I'm no poet, for sure, but I have fun doing it.
Mother's breast all dry,
father's strength all wet and lowed,
the orphan wanders.
I liked the first ones rhythm though it kinda trips around the and no heart line. The last two lines work well together :)