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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


0228.jpg


Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Awesome line up of treats guys,

Nova you nut job did you seriously eat the whole thing???? whoooaaaaaa. Yum but ass throbbing next day I bet.
 
Awesome line up of treats guys,

Nova you nut job did you seriously eat the whole thing???? whoooaaaaaa. Yum but ass throbbing next day I bet.

Yup it all went down the hatch in less than five minutes! Felt like i was shooting flaming balls of fire the next day! :onfire:
 
Nova you have just announced your greatness to the world once again. Wow. Robbie that looks awesome and it is a fine way to make your entry to the Drunken Chef. Pass me one of the B&T :beer: s please.
 
Many thanks for the accolades. Unfortunately the chops
turned out a little more dry than I had anticipated.

Robbie, how could you taste that fine beanification after all those bottles of liquid stupid?

It's easy.
A.) I'm a functioning alcoholic.
2.) The 1.75 L bottle is too large for the freezer so we
pour it into the smaller 200 mL bottles. It also freezes
faster that way. I only consumed one of the small bottles.
And six beers. After all, it's a weeknight and I have to
awaken at the unholy hour of 04:30 every day.


Pass me one of the B&T :beer: s please.

It's truly the cheapest tasty B&T one can find.
 
Repeat effort tonight, dropped the scorpion and went with five congoes and five rubber nipples with BEEF! Pics tomorrow. :drunk:
 
Paulky, that looks EPIC! I would eat a thousand of those.

Bonus points for the parsley garnish on the paper plate.

You are the greatest.


Another good eve for the DC!

Great lookin' food PK and Robbie!

Thanks, y'all! :woohoo:


Nova, Paulky and Robbie what a wonderful treat coming back to the hotel and seeing all this after teaching all day.

Pk, that dog was killer, where the hell did you get the Stone in the bottle? I had to resort to Coors tonight no Keystone at the local store.


Thankyasir!!

That "bottle" really isn't a bottle......but you knew that! :lol: Yet another treat from the makers of "Keystein"



Rob: Kudos on the Yenglueng!!! I drown in the stuff while I'm in Norfolk! :beer: (I can't get it here.)
 
Pretty tame crack, only burnt my MOUTH for about ten minutes! Other end copped about a bloody hour! :rofl:

They are not allll that hot, they are de-placented. New word.
 
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