New reviews in for Black Dog
- Thread starter bentalphanerd
- Start date
And then theres a mate of my brothers who's a doctor of literature or something. I gave him a jar on Saturday night about 2 am drunk etc etc. & asked if he'd mind crafting me a review.
This is what he came up with
***Warning - Filthy Language Alert***
Review: Black Dog Chili Sauce
Manufacturer: Bent AlphanerdZ
Reviewer: General Skull
At first, I rejected the sauce due to my prejudice. Basically, I didn’t like the colour! To me, chili sauce is red. As a chili sauce red supremacist, Black Dog offended my sensibilities. However, I was asked to review it and I am a chili sauce consumer of my word. So, I spread a very small portion on a barbequed pork sausage and took a bite. Well, suddenly I was back in Vietnam, lying on a sweat-drenched cot staring at a ceiling fan. In the distance I heard choppers and the sweet crooning voice of Jim Morrison. Whammo! An explosion in my mouth like I had sucked off an RPG! The intense burn of the sauce made me gasp for air. For a second I couldn’t breathe. AlphanerdZ isn’t taking any prisoners this time. He isn’t f**king around. He has thrown down the gauntlet to all serious chili sauce consumers and manufacturers. There is a new dog in town and he is one mean son of a bitch. This dog bites. And yet, the sauce is incredibly rich and complex. There is a sweet side to this sauce. In fact, I think it should be called Praying Mantis chili sauce because it gives your mouth a sweet satisfying f**k and then takes your head off afterwards. You can taste sweet vanilla and chocolate within the hot coals of the sauce. I know you are probably thinking “what the f**k?” BUT it really enhances the flavours. However, be warned! Like the brilliant ‘Pain’ and ‘Pain 2’, I suspect Black Dog is addictive and will sell out fast. So, order your supply now and keep it away from pussies and small children. This is a sauce for tough guys. I give it 5 stars Margaret.
This is what he came up with
***Warning - Filthy Language Alert***
Review: Black Dog Chili Sauce
Manufacturer: Bent AlphanerdZ
Reviewer: General Skull
At first, I rejected the sauce due to my prejudice. Basically, I didn’t like the colour! To me, chili sauce is red. As a chili sauce red supremacist, Black Dog offended my sensibilities. However, I was asked to review it and I am a chili sauce consumer of my word. So, I spread a very small portion on a barbequed pork sausage and took a bite. Well, suddenly I was back in Vietnam, lying on a sweat-drenched cot staring at a ceiling fan. In the distance I heard choppers and the sweet crooning voice of Jim Morrison. Whammo! An explosion in my mouth like I had sucked off an RPG! The intense burn of the sauce made me gasp for air. For a second I couldn’t breathe. AlphanerdZ isn’t taking any prisoners this time. He isn’t f**king around. He has thrown down the gauntlet to all serious chili sauce consumers and manufacturers. There is a new dog in town and he is one mean son of a bitch. This dog bites. And yet, the sauce is incredibly rich and complex. There is a sweet side to this sauce. In fact, I think it should be called Praying Mantis chili sauce because it gives your mouth a sweet satisfying f**k and then takes your head off afterwards. You can taste sweet vanilla and chocolate within the hot coals of the sauce. I know you are probably thinking “what the f**k?” BUT it really enhances the flavours. However, be warned! Like the brilliant ‘Pain’ and ‘Pain 2’, I suspect Black Dog is addictive and will sell out fast. So, order your supply now and keep it away from pussies and small children. This is a sauce for tough guys. I give it 5 stars Margaret.
I don't see why people keep talking about the color. Sauces are all colors! Red, orange, yellow, brown...
Why do people find the color unappetizing for a hot sauce when BBQ sauces and steak sauces and pestos are browns and greens but nobody seems to mind? Do people want all hot sauce to be red??
Why do people find the color unappetizing for a hot sauce when BBQ sauces and steak sauces and pestos are browns and greens but nobody seems to mind? Do people want all hot sauce to be red??
bentalphanerd said:
That is gold.
thehotpepper.com said:
I think its the colour combined with the consistency of this sauce - it really is like thick sticky very dark green/black mud, with slimy, drizzly lumpy bits.
I'm the first to admit it doesn't look very inviting.
A lot of jerk rubs look like someone picked up a handful of mud with sticks in it, but I never saw it as unappetizing. I think when you say "hot sauce" people think red.
Proof:
Good luck with it. I hope to try it one day.
Proof:
Good luck with it. I hope to try it one day.
Keep up the good work Bent !
bentalphanerd said:
HAHAHA, what a wimp
imaguitargod said:HAHAHA, what a wimp
I'm surprised he tasted anything, he's a bit new to the land of "hotter than tabasco"
LUCKYDOG said:
'Margaret' is referring to a couple of film critics here who are famous for giving differing star ratings out of five. The lead in of course being from 'Apocalypse Now' **how did you miss that IGG?
