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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
Click to expand...
Something my favourite burger place whipped up for me on the weekend

Starts off as a Big Mac copy, double beef, bun in between, lettuce mayo etc, then topped with bacon jalapeño Tabasco mac n cheese, I then got some cream cheese stuffed and fried jalapeño poppers wrapped in bacon added to it

This was the BEST!!!!

And yes I managed to eat it with my two hands and only spilt a tiny drop




 
Booma said:
Something my favourite burger place whipped up for me on the weekend

Starts off as a Big Mac copy, double beef, bun in between, lettuce mayo etc, then topped with bacon jalapeño Tabasco mac n cheese, I then got some cream cheese stuffed and fried jalapeño poppers wrapped in bacon added to it

This was the BEST!!!!

And yes I managed to eat it with my two hands and only spilt a tiny drop




Click to expand...
 
Double post worthy and truly chingon!
 
A big bite pic  would have been total orgasmatron.
 
Alas...
 
Truth be told...
 
Even with lettuce and mayo I'd take a shot at the title with that burger.
 
More truth.
 
I doubt i could eat half of it.
 
But like to liking leftovers anyhow.
 
Stinkin' Aussie's.
 
Always makin' even leftovers bettern' anyone else.
 
JayT said:
Weird shit-o-meter on blast. That had to be invented by drunken college kids. I'd hit it though.
Click to expand...
 
Negative.
 
Drunk college kids only invented sheeit like beer pong.
 
Aussies' invented just about ever 'thang else that is worth any 'thang.
 
Drunk college kids fall off balconies at hotels on spring break.
 
Aussies's surf with Great White Sharks.
 
Aussie's rock.
 
College kids?
 
Not so much.
 
These days a bachelors degree is no more than a glorified G.E.D.
 
It means nothing.
 
Not that it ever did IMO.
 
This college kid bashing will not stand man!  Drunken college kids are a thing to behold!  AND they love burgers.  Very much. 
 
Aussies are great too.  
 
Higher education is debatable, but that's a whole nother thread.
 
Cooked a burger today, sous vide.   52 C for 1 hour.  I buttered a pretzel roll and added garlic powder then hit it with the searzall, making a nice garlic toast base.  I also hit the meat with searzall after a 5 minute rest.  Beneath the meat was a fat slice of a yellow heirloom tomato, on top was some Monterey Jack cheese, 2 slices of bacon, 2 sliced jalapenos, a few red onion slices and half an avocado.
 
It was amazing, but I could only eat half.  On the side was a nice pasta salad.
 
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That ain't my kine'o burger but have mercy!
 
I love long time the loosey goosey meatness and the medium rare color throughout the patty.
 
I ain't a fan of the blow torch.
 
Or that bun.
 
But don't kid yourself.
 
That 'thang is as good as any burger posted in this thread.
 
And I am a registered burger asshole.
 
Yeah.
 
Its that good!
 
texas blues said:
That ain't my kine'o burger but have mercy!
 
I love long time the loosey goosey meatness and the medium rare color throughout the patty.
 
I ain't a fan of the blow torch.
 
Or that bun.
Click to expand...
 
Have you had a burger on a pretzel roll?  It's my favorite.  If you have a different preference though, I can get behind that.  These stand up to the liquids my burgers often expel.  I gravitate towards Mexican style foods, which explains a few of the toppings.  I've gotta grow some cool jalapenos next year. 
 
bierz said:
 
Have you had a burger on a pretzel roll?  It's my favorite.  If you have a different preference though, I can get behind that.  These stand up to the liquids my burgers often expel.  I gravitate towards Mexican style foods, which explains a few of the toppings.  I've gotta grow some cool jalapenos next year. 
Click to expand...
 
I have never had a pretzel bun'd burger that I've liked.
 
All I've had were bone dry, some mealy, and others downright crumbly.
 
It just ain't in my DNA.
 
Ciabatta & pretzel buns seem to be all the foo foo rage these days.
 
Just gimme' a white or better yet, a whole wheat squishy bun.
 
Or a Martin's Potato Roll.
 
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