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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
Finally getting some hatch type chiles from the garden, so it's burger time!
 
First homemade roasted garlic and fish pepper aioli and a fried green tomato on the bottom:
 
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Add a couple roasted green chiles:
 
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Fresh ground grass fed patty topped with habanero cheddar:
 
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Hat on with some fresh onion and lettuce:
 
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A delightful mess to eat, with grease running down my arms!  Such a treat!  :)
 
Sweet baby jeebus thats a lot of food for me.
 
The chips and the corn.
 
But that burger.
 
I'd chairman mao the hell out of it.
 
Lettuce n' all.
 
And that got dang melty scheeze!
 
I hope you shared it with someone you love.
 
Women love guys that cook awesome sheeit.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
The Hot Pepper said:
 
Who the hell shares a burger? Maybe a milkshake with 2 straws but get your own damn burger.
 
 
That post will not get you dates.
 
 
No matter whether she wants just a bite.
 
Or half.
 
Or the whole dang 'thang....
 
In the end.
 
She always gets what she wants.
 
Men have little say in the matter.
 
Aloha burger lovers!
 
Rehydrate some dehydrated onions.
 
Throw 'em down with pineapple.
 
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Toast up some buns.
 
And roll on ground chuck.
 
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Smash the meat with the onions.
 
And top with the pineapple and swiss cheese.
 
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Rock it with mayo.
 
Tomato.
 
Butter lettuce.
 
Yeah lettuce.
 
Because..
 
Maybe I just don't give a shit anymore.
 
Splooge it with pequin teriyaki.
 
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Pick it up and eat it.
 
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You're gonna' need a lot more napkins!
 
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One of the bestest burgers I ever ate.
 
And the onions.....
 
Have mercy.
 
Ever one talks about burgers.
 
Until its time to do some burger shit.
 
Get it on.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Lol. It's on Netflix now, very funny so far.

I'm about halfway through season 1.

You will always and forever be Bruce Campbell in my brain. :rofl:
 
Canned crab.
 
From parts unknown.
 
Minced onion.
 
Garlic.
 
Egg.
 
Oatmeal.
 
Mary Sharpe's.
 
Cast iron.
 
Butter.
 
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Pepperidge Farm Whole Wheat slider buns.
 
Toasted in butter.
 
Rock some melted pepperjack.
 
Roma slices.
 
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Now throw down some lettuce.
 
Yeah thats right.
 
I said lettuce.
 
Because my kung fu is like water.
 
Ever flowing.
 
Like Butter.
 
Leaf lettuce.
 
Splooge 747 Heavy.
 
With my Crabby Bills version of crab cake money splooge.
 
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Pick it up.
 
And go gonzo.
 
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It was got dang fantasticle!
 
Cheap ass crab burger.
 
Like eating drugs.
 
Made of shellfish.
 
Only.
 
Better.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
black betty'd crab cake sliders  :drooling:
yes please  :!:  all fricken day, any day.
 
the tomato and lettuce is making me think though  :think: 
Cabbage and some salsa criolla, or  a fruity maybe mango salsa, or something instead maybe  :think:
 
ahhh who am i kidding...
i would eat as many of them crabby patty sliders as you'd let me scarf down  :drooling:
nom nom  nom
 
looks good to me  :clap:
 
 
:cheers:
 
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