14th April - The Worst Day of my Chile Life!
I seriously over stepped the line yesterday. It’s my birthday soon and I love cooking, particularly with some of the hot pepper varieties so I thought I would buy myself a new food processor. I had around 100 Naga Morich peppers left over from the initial batch of Naga Snakebite sauces and thought I would test out the blender by making a concentrated Naga Morich paste.
The weather was absolutely beautiful, so I took a chopping board a knife, a couple of bowls and a bag of harvested Nagas outside and proceeded to destalk them prior to blending whist sat at our garden table. Stupidly, I wore a pair of thin plastic gloves which offered no protection at all and it wasn’t long before my hands actually felt wet from the juices in the peppers / the water I used to wash the pods. About 10 pods in and the thin skin between my fingers started to burn but I carried on regardless. I’ve cut up hundreds of Nagas and other seriously hot peppers in my time so I knew the capsaicin was going to burn. There’s always something 'macho' about taking on the pain of a pepper burn, particularly amongst the hot sauce loving Americans - after all that’s why I decided to make the snakebite in the first place to satisfy even the craziest Chile head who just have to taste the hottest sauces. On the various chilli forums, stories of Capsaicin burns are nearly always told in a comical fashion, particularly the stories of 'Hunan hand' an affliction which only effects men when capsaicin comes into contact with something very sensitive when you haven’t watched your hands thoroughly after handling peppers.
After about 40 pods my whole hands were burning so I took off the flimsy gloves (which were complete pointless anyway), went to the kitchen and gave my hands a quick rinse under the cold water tap before preceding back into the garden to complete the job gloveless.
By the time I had destalked all 100 pods my hands were seriously burning to the point were my eyes were starting to water.
I battled on the complete my main objective - make a Naga Morich concentrate using my new food processor adding just a little Cider Vinegar (to bring the Acidity/PH below 4.5 to prevent botulism) and a spoon full of sugar and 10% sea salt to aid fermentation and preservation. The fumes from this concoction were unbelievable and it was quite a struggle pouring the blended mixture into a glass sealed ramekin jar. However it wasn’t the fumes that got me, by this point the pain in my hands had reached such a crescendo that they were physical shaking.
I ran to the refrigerator, grabbed the milk, pored it into a bowl before plunged my hands in. I literally stood there staring into the garden for a good 10 minutes waiting for the pain to subside. Why did I use milk? Capsaicin is complex oil and is not soluble in water. The best way to get rid of the burn is to use a fatty substance, which absorbs the oil. This is why its not a good idea to gulp down water after eating hot food as all that does is swill the oil around your mouth making the problem 10 times worse.
Whilst in the milk my hands felt fine, as soon as I pulled them out it felt like I was holding my hands over a naked flame. As I said I have suffered from Naga burns previously and knew what to expect. The pain is searing but it normally dies down after 10 minutes or so. This time was different. Thirty minutes later and I’m still stood there with my hands in my third bowl of milk staring out of the kitchen window to relieve the boredom. The pain is getting worse, not better and I’m really starting to worry at this point. I’m shivering (even though its a warm day) and there’s nobody else in the house to help me out. I try rubbing my hands in Lard (another fat) and also a bleach solution. Neither makes the situation any better.
I move into the front room, taking a towel and a kitchen bowl full of ice cold water with me (I’ve run out of milk etc by this point) and it’s the only thing I have to ease the pain. I then spend the next two hours watching the football on Sky Sports whilst sitting on the settee with my hands submerged in the bowl of water rising occasionally from this living hell to change the water.
Nearly 3 hours in and I know there is something wrong. I’m having a reaction to the capsiacin unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before, even from Nagas. Whilst my hands are in the water, they feel fine. As soon as I expose them to the open air, it feels like all the skin has been pealed off my hands exposing the raw nerves underneath and then holding them under the grill. I just about manage to dial the missus on the mobile phone (who is round her sisters) and proceed to tell her the story. Unsurprised, she bursts out laughing but hereing the concern in my voice she realises just how much pain I am in. It almost 5pm by this time and I call my best mate to cancel our planned drinking session tonight. I can hardly walk ten yards without desperately needing to plunge my hands into the water once again - never mind trying to hold a pint. The missus returns and sees just how bad things are. She doesn’t drive and I cannot drive myself to the hospital.
She is a pharmacist and refers to her textbooks for medical advise on capsaicin toxicity. Here is an extract:
'Capsaicin, found in various hot peppers has adverse effects on the peripheral nervous system. One dose of capsaicin is sufficient to destroy all substance P (an important nerve chemical related to endorphins) and causes about 50% loss from part of the spinal cord. Furthermore, the blood vessels of the heart are particularly sensitive to toxic factors in capsaicin. Even low doses lead to low core body temperatures (hypothermia)' the last line in particular really has me shitting myself as I’m feeling very cold. One solution the book recommends is alcohol rub gel. Luckily she has some, as you need to have sterile hands when working in a hospital. I dry my hands try it - its doesn’t help. In desperation I snap a large piece off my Aloe Vera plant that is growing on the kitchen windowsill and use the gel from that. Its doesn’t work either. Its now 4 hours since this episode began and she want to take me to the hospital. I’m worried about me health but refuse saying I'll be alright and if Im no better I will 'go tomorrow' as (1) I have a really phobia of hospitals, (2) I don't want to make myself look like a complete tit and (3) I don't know if I can take sat in a taxi for 10 minutes without a bowl of water nearby.
I spend the rest of the evening with my hands in the water, preying the pain will subside (it doesn’t) and decide to sleep on the settee as my bowl of water is near by. Its almost 3am before I somehow fall asleep with my hands still in the water. I fully expect a trip to casualty in the morning, in fact I wondering why the hell I didn’t go earlier so I didn’t have to go through this pain.
Miraculously, I wake around 7am this morning and the burning has subsided. My hands are still tender but no longer on fire. Despite being the so-called 'chileman' at least to my friends, I WILL NEVER EVER DISRESPECT NAGA MORICH (AND OTHER HOT PEPPERS) AGAIN!!
