• Blog your pepper progress. The first image in your first post will be used to represent your Glog.

Another bumper crop of misery and anguish, here's to a productive 2023.

A long time ago, in a youth long shrouded in layers of dust, I convinced myself that I loved peppers. I loved eating them, I loved growing them, I loved nurturing them and seeing them thrive.

It turns out that I was wrong.

No compassionate being with even a shred of empathy could commit the gardening atrocities which I have rained down upon something that they love.

Last year's harvest was a small handful of peppers, so I'm clearly not doing this to sustain my family or for any nourishment-related activities.

It turns out that literally the *only* logical explanation is that I'm a psychopath, secretly relishing in the anguish which exudes from every plant that I touch. It doesn't feel that way in my brain, but I'm a man of science and the evidence is irrefutable.


Oh yeah. Bask in that desolation.

My aphid minions are finally claiming victory over the last of my black jalapeno plants from last year. The carolina reaper gets an honorable mention for holding out the second longest, but it didn't even produce a single pepper so it can rot in the most desolate part of Hades along with HOA members and people who write EULAs for a living.

Of course, now that the last of my plants can no longer provide me with the paindorphins that I need to sustain myself, it's time for a new crop.

I've dropped 5 Sepia Serpent seeds (I've had them kicking around forever, no clue how they actually look once grown) and 10 more black jalapeno seeds into some moistened paper towel, and I ordered 10 Trinidad Scorpion and 10 Dragon's Breath seeds from Pepper Joe's, and I'll get those going when they arrive.

Trinidad Scorpions were actually some of the first peppers that I tried growing, back when they were the hot new thing, so it'll be nice to get back to my roots, as it were.

A more educated man, being paid educated dollars to listen to my less educated whining, may even draw a link between the trauma caused by ingesting those peppers and my irrefutable subconscious urges to continue inflicting pain upon pepperkind.

I raise a glass with you all! To evil!
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It will be interesting to see what those Pepper Joe seeds end up being, as they often end up being something other than what you thought you ordered. Have you heard the expression 'You've been Pepper Joe'd"? Good Luck!
Eh, his stuff's always grown true for me.

Oh boy, that's amazing, you have two babies going strong! 😍

As for the others, could they be damping off?
Anything's possible, but I don't think I've been going crazy with the moisture and they don't seem overly fuzzy.

One of these years I should probably try growing things like a grown-up would do instead of whatever the hell I do.
One of these years I should probably try growing things like a grown-up would do instead of whatever the hell I do.
Nah - being grown-up is overrated, experimentation is where it's at - remind of this when I'm on my knees crying because my peppers didn't make it :lol:
I have under a 20% success rate with every pepper I tried this year. I won't go into specifics because it makes me mindbogglingly sad.

A while back, I cut open a grocery store tomato and took its seeds.

11 out of 12 from the first batch are growing like bastards, and 4 of 12 from the second batch have sprouted in just a few days.

So, it's clearly my tender, loving care that destroys all that it touches.

My apathy is superfertilizer.

I don't believe I'll be continuing this year's glog, but if you're ever staring into space in the coming months wondering "I wonder how that sunuvabitch's plants are doing", I leave you with this:


Edit: For the next time I can convince myself to care, where do any of you Canadians order your seeds from? I'm not gonna blame Pepper Joe for my seeds failing, but there's enough bad voodoo in my process that I need to change something.
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@Wulf I've ordered fom many (readv too many) places in the last 5 years but now I mostly get my seeds from trade. Otherwise I stick to the vendors that prove to be worth of my hard earned money! Here's a few I would recommend without any hesitation:

White Hot Peppers
The Hippy Seed Company
Semillas La Palma
Texas Hot Peppoers

I've oredered a few times from Atlantic Peppers seeds but there were hit and miss (a lot of new and young crosses thus unstable).

Just make sure to stay away from eBay, Amazon, ETSY, PepperJoe and other places advertising varieties such "Pepper X" ;) Depending of what you are looking for I might be able to help, just let me know!
What the hell, let's do a closing photo.

Behold, my glorious peppers. My wonderful peppers.

The peppers, which are the focus of my obsession and literally all that I care about.



Edit: No, not those. Ignore those tomatoes. Stupid tomatoes.


On a 100% unrelated topic, you know what's awesome?

Homemade wine.
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As a final-final update to this year's glog, that I feel summarizes things nicely:

My black jalapeno plant has died.

Not only has it died, but apparently I reused some soil from some tomato seeds I'd given up on, because I now have two vibrant and lush tomato plants growing out of my black jalapeno's pot.


So yes, this year shall mark a new record.

Never before will I have produced so many tomatoes from my jalapeno pots.

I suspect that mother nature may be getting sick of my "tropical plants in a winter wonderland" bullshit and making her hints less subtle.

I think that brings me down to two Dragon's Breath plants out of my entire attempt at peppers this year, and they are puny little things that absolutely will not produce.

I am going to have more tomatoes than I know what to do with, merely from tossing some seeds around and giving zero craps about them. So many tomatoes. So goddamn lush and vibrant.