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ASS Meets Naga: A Love Story for our Time

PrairieChilihead

PrairieChilihead

'Kay. I tried my first fresh Naga Morich yesterday. I tried a small piece from the middle of the pod and, to tell you the truth, I was disappointed. It's been a cool, wet Summer so I knew not to expect any 1.5 million hottie, but it seemed milder than the Scorpions and Seven Pods...maybe more like a very hot Hab. So, I started taking larger pieces closer to the stem. Yeah, it's a way hotter than a hab! It's probably on the order of a Seven Pod, but I'm not eating those fresh, just naked like that. Funny thing, though...and this has never happened to me before, my guts started to ache. I decided that I had had enough...maybe a third of the pod. I was cramping up all night and this morning the title of this post came to mind. Good thing I had the day scheduled as a vacation day. :lol:

Honestly, I've never had a pepper so hot that it burnt more on the way out than it did on the way in. Maybe I should be handling those babies a bit more respectfully.

What do you think?
 
Most real chilehead can season themselves to handle about any pepper mouth burn, the gut burn where you know exactly where that pepper is in your colon is ten times worst. I don't even consider a chile or sauce hot anymore unless it burns on the way out.
 
The trinidad scorpion I ate hit me in a similar way.

The mouth pain had faded, the last of the endorphin buzz was gone, and a few hours later I'm jammin on some world of warcraft when I get a sharp little pain in my gut.
No worries, I told myself. This isn't too bad.
A few more minutes go by and then the pod unleashed it's fearsome wrath upon my alimentary canal.
Searing pain hit. I grabbed my cellphone, certain in the knowledge that I was actually melting from the inside out, and that soon my last living act would be to frantically dial 911 as I watched my own molten guts spew forth from my belly like some twisted hellish river of entrails and brimstone.
I began pacing, awaiting my demise, but it never came. Instead, like some sentient flame, the pain moved lower and I knew in my heart of hearts that the devil-spawned pepper was no longer satisfied with me, it had taken full measure of me and found me lacking, so it was time to move on.

It's a curious thing, sitting on the commode, hunched over with a trash can below your face and your head resting on the side of door.
The damage done to my stomach wasn't quite bad enough to make me hurl, but you know that constant drool you get when you've had one drink less than would make you puke? I was there.

So I sat there, liquid hell from one end, my mouth hung open and drool pouring out into the waste bin at the same time, contemplating my existence and whether or not I ever wanted to grow another pepper again, why I brought this upon myself.

Then I realized.

I did it for the lulz.
 
You know you have consumed a hot pepper when it has you torn in such a way that it almost will turn you into a human vacuum and inches a way from hurling and crapping your brains out only to then "blip" you clear out of existence. Its good to see some people will go that far. I for one hope to never endure those pains but I also know that if and when I do that the training wheels are off and that I to can join the few who have looked the devil in the eyes, kicked him in the nuts and live another day to tell the story. I bow to those who have been to that point and to you Skydiver I say congrats. :D
 
Skydiver said:
The damage done to my stomach wasn't quite bad enough to make me hurl, but you know that constant drool you get when you've had one drink less than would make you puke? I was there.
Click to expand...

LMAO.. OHHH do I remember those days. Also remember a few times promising myself i would never eat another pepper again... that lasted all of about 8 hours :lol:
 
I find it especially burns when I eat something really greasy that is extremely hot...you know, the next day when you get those walking poots...I think just the gas coming out burns...
 
The closest I came to that experience was a hot chili oil used for cooking made in Thailand, purchased at our local Superstore grocery store. It burned going in and down, but within 10-15 minutes seemed to cause a gag like reflex. I never did hurl but the feeling of my stomach pulsating, trying to reject what was in it remaind for about an hour. Funny, I don't remember if it came out sizzlin'. (they don't sell the product anymore).

I sliced the end of one of my Habaneros and said the same thing - its not very hot, what's all this talk about Habbies being hot(tasted nice though). Then, I sliced it from another angle, felt like Tyson belted me in the mouth, lips were a burnin', tongue enflamed, checks flared red..... I had to hold cold milk in my mouth and repeat several times just to bring the flamein' face back to just a hot state.
 
tha first time I did half of a douglah I thought I would hurl but I made it without!! I can eat a whole one as a popper but haven't tried a whole fresh one!! not brave enough yet , LOL
 
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