This just in:
Police tape surrounds the Mayor's house. Found sprawled in the Mayor's bathtub at 6:30am this morning was an as-yet unidentified bear. Cans of beer were ransacked from the Mayor's beer cave, drank, and scattered about the house. Eye witnesses claim they observed the bear fly into a wild rampage at the rejection of a young woman, who closely resembled Mrs. Frydad, after he attempted to fondle her breastes. The door to the Mayor's house was shredded to splinters and now lies in a pile in the yard. The Mayor and his family were absent, so are unharmed. Police called an ambulance to transport the still-unconscious bear to the city jail. Rumors are that the bear is the infamous Bear, That Guy from SoFlo, but it is unclear what he was doing so far from home.