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Burgers? Hell Yeah!!

Hey y'all looking through the sacred THP scrolls it is apparent that most awesome of foods is sorely neglected. That's right chidren's, I'm talkin' about BURGERS!! Sliders. Pub burgers. Fast food style burgers. Gastro burgers. Cheffy burgers. CHEESEBURGERS!!! Single and double meat. Triple meat. Extreme burgers. Man vs. Food burgers....the list is endless but y'all get the idea.

We won't go into the endless arguments of who created the first hamburger (Fletcher Davis) or what meat qualifies as a burger. Nonetheless....here are the rules for posting in this soon to be awesome thread:

1. Any meat goes. Beef, chicken, pork, lamb, rat, fish. Whatever, hunt it down and kill it with a knife. Its all good and I've included the options other than the traditional beef so all the kids can play in the pool. If its ground and round, its all good.

2. The damn 'thang has to be between 2 slices of bread or bun. White bread. Brioche. Sourdough. English muffin. Whole wheat. Its got to be bready. No wrap crap or wild pizza dough like chingaderra's.

3. Any cooking method goes. Grilled. Broiled. Griddled. Steamed. Deep fried. Zippo lighter.

4. Because I love to ridicule to no end tree hugging granola wimps and hippy's.....
Veggie burgers are all good. Just be prepared for the woe and gnashing of teeth and smack talk that will soon come if you post it. It will be all in fun and all good.

5. You suck at cooking? The only thing that would suck more is if you posted pics of your restaurant burger. For the sake of keeping the comedy rolling...
Any burger you didn't cook or you bought is allowed and is all good. Warning: while allowed, posting pics of BK burgers or their ilk with a splash of tabasco will bring upon you the most ridicule and insults. Even more than a veggie burger!

6. Chile's and/or hotsauce is mandatory on the burger. ON the burger, no crap on the side.

7. Pics are mandatory. No posting about a burger you made or ate without pics. You will suffer extreme ridicule and experience much loathing. Just don't do it.

8. Include a list of condiments and toppings. Mayo. Mustard. Onions. Cheese. Extract of male baboon spermatazoa. Whatever. Post it.

There it is y'all. Can you get down brown with it? Allrighty then...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Here's mine. Sliders. 80/20 ground chuck from Matador Meat Market, Frisco, Tx. Cooked over fine diced yellow onions in cast iron using the smash technique. Toasted Pepperidge Farm slider buns with mustard, the onions, dill pickle and jalapeno pickle slices. Kraft brand American Plastic Cheese.

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Adult beverages are encouraged in the pics but not mandatory. Dig that awesome cast iron crust sear!

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So bring on your burgers. And that means those damn Aussie's and their stinkin' beet root too!!
 
Here we freeze that juice in ice trays with a toothpick or cut down straw and its called pickle sickles and I grew up with them and my daughter eats them all the time. Of course she gets pickle slices or chunks almost everyday in her lunch.

Check out our our pickled stuff section of the fridge. I guess we like vinegar And these sickles are from Boards Head and in my freezer right now, lol.
 

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Jesus Christ on a crutch would approve that burger.
 
He ain't your typical Jew Christian Savior.
 
I know.
 
I was just talking to him.
 
He said he'd skip the mac n' cheese.
 
"That looks like boxed mac n' cheese."
 
"What a ripoff!"
 
But he does like a really good cheeseburger.
 
Like Samuel L. Jackson.
 
Because he's a Jew he's not supposed to.
 
But Jesus also likes pork enchiladas.
 
You know.....
 
That whole mexican 'thang.
 
I'd eat the burger now.
 
But leave the beans.
 
I'll eat them later.
 
The burger would be enough to sassify my stomach.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
D3monic said:
yea boxed mac n cheese of sadness. but the kids wanted some. I wanted to smash the burgers thinner but it felt like the grate was going to give if I pushed any harder. 
 
Good for the kids.
 
Truth.
 
No matter how old you are we're all still kids.
 
Because boxed mac 'n cheese is still pretty got dang' good.
 
Screw the smashing and the grate.
 
That burger looked goodern' hell!
 
My first food pic on here. A spicy cheetos poblano burger. I used a really soft bun fro. Walmart deli. 80/20 ground chuck with some manteca/pork lard mixed in for extra juicyiness. I melted american cheese on top of the burger. I ground up cheetos mixed with pasilla/devils tongue chile powder put on next. Roasted poblanos went on next. Foolowed by ice berg lettuce and tomato. Topped off with reaper kosher dill pickles. The sauce on both buns is 3 tbl ketchup,1tsp mayo,1tsp sriracha and 1tsp mustard.
20180320_034207.jpg
 
rlslmshdy said:
My first food pic on here. A spicy cheetos poblano burger. I used a really soft bun fro. Walmart deli. 80/20 ground chuck with some manteca/pork lard mixed in for extra juicyiness. I melted american cheese on top of the burger. I ground up cheetos mixed with pasilla/devils tongue chile powder put on next. Roasted poblanos went on next. Foolowed by ice berg lettuce and tomato. Topped off with reaper kosher dill pickles. The sauce on both buns is 3 tbl ketchup,1tsp mayo,1tsp sriracha and 1tsp mustard.
attachicon.gif
20180320_034207.jpg
 
That looks awesome! 
 
I love and hate Bourdain.
 
Skip to the 2:57 mark.
 
And then you'll see the juice squirting out of that burger.
Thats for true food porn.
 
Like drinking a cold beer while watching 2 dogs fucking.
 
You'll finish your beer and grab another.
 
And keep watching.
 
Because.
 
Nature.
 
And you like beer!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
texas blues said:
I love and hate Bourdain.
 
Skip to the 2:57 mark.
 
And then you'll see the juice squirting out of that burger.
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4J1seTHAMU
 
Thats for true food porn.
 
Like drinking a cold beer while watching 2 dogs f**king.
 
You'll finish your beer and grab another.
 
And keep watching.
 
Because.
 
Nature.
 
And you like beer!
 
 
 
I have waited almost an hour for In & Out to open just to order 2 animal style burger and animal style fries..........WORTH IT!

Not better than homemade, but when you are milking the bosss clock on an out of town trip that includes him paying for lunch......
 
 
 
 
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