food Burgers? Hell Yeah!!
- Thread starter texas blues
- Start date
Hey y'all I just love burgers. And cheeseburgers. And as y'all have seen in this thread, my all time favorite style of burger is the slider. For those not in the know here's a little background on the slider's origin.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Castle_(restaurant)
Not too long ago I was having a conversation with a friend about this particular burger style and he brought up the subject of White Castle. Ever see a grown-ass man get all gushy n' sheeit? Well lemme' 'splain y'all, just talking about White Castle made the guy full on loco. He went on a big long rant reminiscing about his days growing up with White Castle and eating them for cheapness by the bag, and of course later during his college years how he and his drunk and stoner bro's would hit up WC in the wee wee hours of the morning to satisfy their drunk-o-sexual culinary cravings. That's right. He even used that very word to describe hissef'. A Craver. Lots of hoo hah and ape style chest thumping with this guy. Anyhow, I had to split and thus ended the conversation but the thought about what the dude was talkin' 'bout stuck in my head. I remember eating WC as a kid but that's all I really recollect about them, I ate them. Nothing of note has stuck in my memory about them.
At my local Try-N-Save aka Kroger Market Place, when I shop I have a regular route I run in the store. I always make a stop in the cheese section where they have all the big blocks of cheddar, jack, etc, and bags of shredded cheese. The route I always use see's my cart turn down one of the frozen food aisle's. They should label this aisle the Drunken Fool food aisle because that's exactly the kind of sheeit this aisle is dedicated to. Frozen pizza. Poppers. Corn dogs, Taquito's and of course, pre-made frozen sliders. I've seen the WC boxes heaps of times and have always told myself I was going to get a box to try them but somehow I never made the leap. Until now.
Kinda' scary really. Frozen pre-made sliders. Remember that dude I was talking about? He was telling me how outstanding and delicious the frozen WC's were and how closely they replicated that found in the restaurant. I was skeptical to say the least. Whatever dude.
So in the interest of science and mankind I done gone and bought a box of these 'thangs. Who can say the outcome. I may fall in love and start a burger bro-mance with the sheeit or simply end up poisoning mysef' or lose an arm or a testicle in the process of eating this box of little frozen aliens.
Here we go chidren's. $4.19 before tax.
Now for the sake of authenticity, before even opening the box what you wanna' do to prepare yourself for this is to start by cracking open several beers and slamming them. You don't have to be falling down piss drunk but definitely have enough alcohol in your system to enable ease of guilt free vomiting that some would say is not only highly likely but inevitable.
I reckon I was about 5 or 6 beers deep when I tore open the box and pulled out one of the twin packs. Looking down at it the voice in my head was screaming at me.." for the love of GOD and all 'thangs holy you're not really going to eat that sheeit are you? W. T. F????" Then I heard the voice of my drunken testosterone fueled raging foody hormones yelling out..." hey there sexy 'thang! Lemme' buy you a drink and come on and talk to Teddy Bear."
Instructions on the box said to cut a hole in one end of the plastic and microwave on high for one minute. Simple enough.
And only fitting that you bombard these little puffy disc's of death with radiation to heat them up. Smart. I put 'em on a plate and set the mic to "Fukushima" and set the timer to "Meltdown".
I was expecting at any moment an alien chest burst coming out of the tops of the buns but it didn't happen. This is what I got.
Don't look half bad huh?
Let the weirdness begin. I pulled back the lid for the autopsy shot and saw melted plastic cheese or at least what appeared to be cheese, and noted the tiny bits of what appeared to be onion stuck to ever 'thang. About that time I was also hit in the face by the awful stench of warm rotten onions. The whole house was filled with the funk. Normally missylou is right there by my side waiting for her cut but no. She split and whimpered off to hide behind the couch.
Obviously WC doesn't splurge on toppings or condiments so they are what they are. Reckoned I'd try the first one naked but they were really begging for some hotness or at the very least a pickle of some kind. The logical choice was to go with pickled jalapeno on the second wombat.
Slider numero uno. Just picking the 'thang up smashes the bun down on the little 1/8 inch and less than an ounce of what they call a beef patty. 100% Beef patty that is. Says so right on the box.
Biting into the 'thang I made several observations. First the bun. Squishy, and rather plain jane tasting. Reminded me of Wonder Bread. Then the cheese. Really not enough to have any cheese like flavor. More of a plastic milk like goo. Probably need a chemical engineer to say what the sheeit really is. The patty. Now that's differnt'. A hint of beefiness dominated by a not unpleasant oniony character. The texture was full on funkness. Like a fine grind to the meat but also with noticeable little bits of gristle incorporated. 100% beef? Maybe. What they should say is its 100% COW. I'd swear I was eating at least a small percentage of hoof mixed in with a liberal dose of mad cow disease.
Here's the dealio y'all. After taking a second bite, the overall funkiness seemed to not matter and was thinkin' either I am pretty dang f**ked up or this doesn't taste half bad. Maybe my tongue and mouth somehow mutated in some perverse way after taking the first bite but was thinking afterwards that not only were they not that bad but they actually taste sorta' kinda' good. I almost hate to admit it. I swear its like going to the bar, gettin' trashed and wake up in the morning with the most butt ugly woman you've ever seen. You know the one. She's half bald, with hair on her back like its being cultivated on purpose and one big eye in the middle of her forehead winkin' at you all the time. But then after you get over the shock of what you've done and the fear and reality of GOD only knows how many diseases you've just contracted and several of which would scare the livin' sheeit out of even the most powerful antibiotics, you have a moment of clarity and remember having being involved in some awesome albeit bizarre seckshul activity. Just ignore that bile like after taste covering your tongue like a carpet of baboon scat and the feeling that the entire red chinese army just marched through your mouth barefoot. Just take a swallow of warm regret from that can of stale beer with the half smoked marlboro that you put out in the can and begin to feel better about yourself.
When I got to unit number 2 with the 'peno's, I had to slow down as I realized I was doing some for realz mouf' fisting. Gotta' remember one of the rules of eating is to chew your food at least once, even twice, before attempting to swallow, and make sure you do so without swallerin' your tongue and choking in the process.
Goodern' hell.
In summation, I can't really say one way or another if the frozen sliders are anything like the real deal at the restaurant itself. And also the 4 bucks and change these 'thangs cost I felt were more than a little over priced. Having said that, I'd say they're actually pretty dang good but albeit definitely in the drunk food category.
Would I buy them again. I might. Its always nice to have some frozen pizza or other sheeit around for when you feel like gettin' plastered and don't feel like cooking and eating real food. I reckon these fill the bill. One word of advice though. Always wear a condom and make sure to have at least two paper bags on hand because you're gonna' need one for yourself when the one on her head rips apart.
Salute'!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Castle_(restaurant)
Not too long ago I was having a conversation with a friend about this particular burger style and he brought up the subject of White Castle. Ever see a grown-ass man get all gushy n' sheeit? Well lemme' 'splain y'all, just talking about White Castle made the guy full on loco. He went on a big long rant reminiscing about his days growing up with White Castle and eating them for cheapness by the bag, and of course later during his college years how he and his drunk and stoner bro's would hit up WC in the wee wee hours of the morning to satisfy their drunk-o-sexual culinary cravings. That's right. He even used that very word to describe hissef'. A Craver. Lots of hoo hah and ape style chest thumping with this guy. Anyhow, I had to split and thus ended the conversation but the thought about what the dude was talkin' 'bout stuck in my head. I remember eating WC as a kid but that's all I really recollect about them, I ate them. Nothing of note has stuck in my memory about them.
At my local Try-N-Save aka Kroger Market Place, when I shop I have a regular route I run in the store. I always make a stop in the cheese section where they have all the big blocks of cheddar, jack, etc, and bags of shredded cheese. The route I always use see's my cart turn down one of the frozen food aisle's. They should label this aisle the Drunken Fool food aisle because that's exactly the kind of sheeit this aisle is dedicated to. Frozen pizza. Poppers. Corn dogs, Taquito's and of course, pre-made frozen sliders. I've seen the WC boxes heaps of times and have always told myself I was going to get a box to try them but somehow I never made the leap. Until now.
Kinda' scary really. Frozen pre-made sliders. Remember that dude I was talking about? He was telling me how outstanding and delicious the frozen WC's were and how closely they replicated that found in the restaurant. I was skeptical to say the least. Whatever dude.
So in the interest of science and mankind I done gone and bought a box of these 'thangs. Who can say the outcome. I may fall in love and start a burger bro-mance with the sheeit or simply end up poisoning mysef' or lose an arm or a testicle in the process of eating this box of little frozen aliens.
Here we go chidren's. $4.19 before tax.
Now for the sake of authenticity, before even opening the box what you wanna' do to prepare yourself for this is to start by cracking open several beers and slamming them. You don't have to be falling down piss drunk but definitely have enough alcohol in your system to enable ease of guilt free vomiting that some would say is not only highly likely but inevitable.
I reckon I was about 5 or 6 beers deep when I tore open the box and pulled out one of the twin packs. Looking down at it the voice in my head was screaming at me.." for the love of GOD and all 'thangs holy you're not really going to eat that sheeit are you? W. T. F????" Then I heard the voice of my drunken testosterone fueled raging foody hormones yelling out..." hey there sexy 'thang! Lemme' buy you a drink and come on and talk to Teddy Bear."
Instructions on the box said to cut a hole in one end of the plastic and microwave on high for one minute. Simple enough.
And only fitting that you bombard these little puffy disc's of death with radiation to heat them up. Smart. I put 'em on a plate and set the mic to "Fukushima" and set the timer to "Meltdown".
I was expecting at any moment an alien chest burst coming out of the tops of the buns but it didn't happen. This is what I got.
Don't look half bad huh?
Let the weirdness begin. I pulled back the lid for the autopsy shot and saw melted plastic cheese or at least what appeared to be cheese, and noted the tiny bits of what appeared to be onion stuck to ever 'thang. About that time I was also hit in the face by the awful stench of warm rotten onions. The whole house was filled with the funk. Normally missylou is right there by my side waiting for her cut but no. She split and whimpered off to hide behind the couch.
Obviously WC doesn't splurge on toppings or condiments so they are what they are. Reckoned I'd try the first one naked but they were really begging for some hotness or at the very least a pickle of some kind. The logical choice was to go with pickled jalapeno on the second wombat.
Slider numero uno. Just picking the 'thang up smashes the bun down on the little 1/8 inch and less than an ounce of what they call a beef patty. 100% Beef patty that is. Says so right on the box.
Biting into the 'thang I made several observations. First the bun. Squishy, and rather plain jane tasting. Reminded me of Wonder Bread. Then the cheese. Really not enough to have any cheese like flavor. More of a plastic milk like goo. Probably need a chemical engineer to say what the sheeit really is. The patty. Now that's differnt'. A hint of beefiness dominated by a not unpleasant oniony character. The texture was full on funkness. Like a fine grind to the meat but also with noticeable little bits of gristle incorporated. 100% beef? Maybe. What they should say is its 100% COW. I'd swear I was eating at least a small percentage of hoof mixed in with a liberal dose of mad cow disease.
Here's the dealio y'all. After taking a second bite, the overall funkiness seemed to not matter and was thinkin' either I am pretty dang f**ked up or this doesn't taste half bad. Maybe my tongue and mouth somehow mutated in some perverse way after taking the first bite but was thinking afterwards that not only were they not that bad but they actually taste sorta' kinda' good. I almost hate to admit it. I swear its like going to the bar, gettin' trashed and wake up in the morning with the most butt ugly woman you've ever seen. You know the one. She's half bald, with hair on her back like its being cultivated on purpose and one big eye in the middle of her forehead winkin' at you all the time. But then after you get over the shock of what you've done and the fear and reality of GOD only knows how many diseases you've just contracted and several of which would scare the livin' sheeit out of even the most powerful antibiotics, you have a moment of clarity and remember having being involved in some awesome albeit bizarre seckshul activity. Just ignore that bile like after taste covering your tongue like a carpet of baboon scat and the feeling that the entire red chinese army just marched through your mouth barefoot. Just take a swallow of warm regret from that can of stale beer with the half smoked marlboro that you put out in the can and begin to feel better about yourself.
When I got to unit number 2 with the 'peno's, I had to slow down as I realized I was doing some for realz mouf' fisting. Gotta' remember one of the rules of eating is to chew your food at least once, even twice, before attempting to swallow, and make sure you do so without swallerin' your tongue and choking in the process.
Goodern' hell.
In summation, I can't really say one way or another if the frozen sliders are anything like the real deal at the restaurant itself. And also the 4 bucks and change these 'thangs cost I felt were more than a little over priced. Having said that, I'd say they're actually pretty dang good but albeit definitely in the drunk food category.
Would I buy them again. I might. Its always nice to have some frozen pizza or other sheeit around for when you feel like gettin' plastered and don't feel like cooking and eating real food. I reckon these fill the bill. One word of advice though. Always wear a condom and make sure to have at least two paper bags on hand because you're gonna' need one for yourself when the one on her head rips apart.
Salute'!
Never had an actual white castle but I have eaten those frozen "sliders". I remeber the overwhelming onion taste and shortly after consuming said burgers running to the bathroom to relieve myself of them!
Awesome review there TB. I've been scarfing down WC box burgers since I was a kit. They ain't too good, but they ain't too bad either. Kinda like a Hot Pocket, you know you shouldn't eat it, but you can't help it. I tend to top mine with pickles and a splooge of mustard, sometimes a couple pickled jalapeños. if you ever have the time (which you usually don't when this kind of food is on the menu) try making them by the oven instructions, quite a bit better IMO.
Hey y'all.
Woke up this morning in a dense cloud of noxious onion fart gas.
But after 2 cups of powerful coffee I was feeling hungry. Apparently I didn't eat enough fear and loathing last night and remembered I still have another deuce of sliders to kill off.
I thought to mysef', what would make these little death pucks of poison better? Pickled jalapeno's certainly were an improvement the first go round.
I got it. Mustard. Cheapass yellow MUSTARD.
What? Some of y'all rayciss and agin' mustard? Okay change the name. Lets call it "mustard seed aioli".
There. Happy now?
Wild Kingdom version 2.0
Slap some 'peno's on there and don't be beetch' about sploogin' on the "mustard seed aioli".
Since technically I am eating this for brekky I was gonna' post this in Sum's Breakfast thread but then thought about it again and decided to just keep it right here. No need to start a turf war or cause innocent Brekky thread perusers to become victims and casualties of nuked frozen burgers.
I was indeed correct and thusly justified with the addition of the "mustard seed aioli". It was a hugeahlicious improvement!
In all honesty I'd eat this before choosing to eat a McD's regular burger but maybe not over a Big Mac.
What about BK? The 'Kang is long dead and I don't go near that joint.
In fact I don't go near McD's for that matter.
In either case it would mean that I would be sober enough to drive there. Bad juju.
Screw that. I'll save the sobriety for a special occasion like going to In-N-Out.
Woke up this morning in a dense cloud of noxious onion fart gas.
But after 2 cups of powerful coffee I was feeling hungry. Apparently I didn't eat enough fear and loathing last night and remembered I still have another deuce of sliders to kill off.
I thought to mysef', what would make these little death pucks of poison better? Pickled jalapeno's certainly were an improvement the first go round.
I got it. Mustard. Cheapass yellow MUSTARD.
What? Some of y'all rayciss and agin' mustard? Okay change the name. Lets call it "mustard seed aioli".
There. Happy now?
Wild Kingdom version 2.0
Slap some 'peno's on there and don't be beetch' about sploogin' on the "mustard seed aioli".
Since technically I am eating this for brekky I was gonna' post this in Sum's Breakfast thread but then thought about it again and decided to just keep it right here. No need to start a turf war or cause innocent Brekky thread perusers to become victims and casualties of nuked frozen burgers.
I was indeed correct and thusly justified with the addition of the "mustard seed aioli". It was a hugeahlicious improvement!
In all honesty I'd eat this before choosing to eat a McD's regular burger but maybe not over a Big Mac.
What about BK? The 'Kang is long dead and I don't go near that joint.
In fact I don't go near McD's for that matter.
In either case it would mean that I would be sober enough to drive there. Bad juju.
Screw that. I'll save the sobriety for a special occasion like going to In-N-Out.
Jeff H said:
Oh hell to the yeah!
Grab a sac or one of them coffin cases of sliders and posty up right here.
Interesting to see the visual comparison as well as the taste review.
And to be sure if you're buying them at the restaurant and eating there or eating them away from home, its understandable that you might not have any chile's or hot sauce available to go with them therefore I'll wave that rule for your post.
Bring it.
Get your ass to What-A-Burger stat!
JHP I am almost ashamed to admit it but I was once a die hard WB culinary enthusiast.
I grew up with WB and loved it looooong time.
But then a few years ago I moved back to Texas and it just ain't the same.
At least here in the DFW metro and north Texas.
In fact the last 2 times I went it absolutely sucked whale blubber and I bet whale blubber instead of that crap that they call meat would have been an improvement. Like soggy cardboard only not as flavorful.
Its a damn shame really.
They should have stuck with their original business model of just burgers fries and shakes. Instead the knucklehead genius's running the company decided they needed to diversify the menu with breakfast stuff and other sheeit to appeal to the masses ergo copy McDonald's.
Double dumbass on them!
I don't go there no mo'.
I grew up with WB and loved it looooong time.
But then a few years ago I moved back to Texas and it just ain't the same.
At least here in the DFW metro and north Texas.
In fact the last 2 times I went it absolutely sucked whale blubber and I bet whale blubber instead of that crap that they call meat would have been an improvement. Like soggy cardboard only not as flavorful.
Its a damn shame really.
They should have stuck with their original business model of just burgers fries and shakes. Instead the knucklehead genius's running the company decided they needed to diversify the menu with breakfast stuff and other sheeit to appeal to the masses ergo copy McDonald's.
Double dumbass on them!
I don't go there no mo'.
I 100% agree. I grew up on WAB as well in Va, there was only one and it was epic! When I moved to TX back in the 90's I was in heaven having so many near me in Austin. A few years later it went to ish. I missed the hand pressed awesome burgers and the buns were top notch.
WB was/is too salty to me (at least the ones in Phoenix), and I LOVE me some salt, so that's sayin' somethin'. My fast food burger go-to's there were INO and Carl's Jr. And at CJ's I think I only got the bacon BBQ burger. I don't eat that stuff in SoFlo if I can help it. Too expensive for what it is here.
SumOfMyBits said:
So what's your fav joint in SoFlo? You been to the Shake Shack or do you go more local with a Cuban Frita style burger joint? Next time I'm in FL I got to try a CF burger.
I don't usually go out for burgers, but on the occasion that I do, it's to a local Cuban diner for a Frita.
The Shake Shack is new down here, I think. I don't even know where it is.
The Shake Shack is new down here, I think. I don't even know where it is.
SumOfMyBits said:
The Most Interesting Man in SoFlo.
What's this you ask ?......well then that explains it, you're not Irish....
You never know when you'll get leftovers...even with around 30 lbs of corned beef and a group of friends coming by I never take the chance.
So what I did and I'll always do is to take the 1st cut of the cooked meat , wrap it in foil and stash it away...for another day.
Out of the leftovers I've made the Hot and Spicy Rueben Dip.....Killa Korned Biff Hash.....in a bowl.....and this last dish. In the bowl is 12 oz of Ground Buffalo and a slice of Corned Beef that was chipped up and mixed in.
First step is to slice 3 large Onions dusting with some Salt, Pepper and dried Thyme. A splash of Worcestershire and a pat of Butter. Put the lid on the pan and simmer for ten minutes to create a liquid. Remove lid and continue to cook for 30 min until liquid evaporates and Onions turn golden.
Cut up a couple of Yukon Gold Potatoes into a cottage fry shape. Fry in 1/4" of oil both sides until golden....set aside..or in a warm oven.
Form meat into an oval shape and pan fry both sides in cast iron with a small amount of Salted Butter.
Once Onions are close to being finished I added a shot of Bushmills and increased the heat, stirring constantly until liquid is completely evaporated.
To assemble the sandwich I placed sliced Swiss Cheese on the bottom Rye Bread slice, meat next topped with Onions, Cheddar Cheese and top piece of Rye. Fry in pan on both sides until Cheese melts.
St Patty's Melt...................sided with Irish style Cottage Fries with a splash of Malt Vinegar..and a deli Pickle.
.
I like EVERYTHING except the oily bread.
Holy crap! I'm speechless.
The Hot Pepper said:
Ya got me there..............not as absorbant and a paper towel...but a bit much WD40 in the pan....should have only been on oz of butter. Leaving the lid off the fry pan helps to crisp the bread at a high temp. Some folks place a lid on to melt the cheeses.............that can result into a steamy mess.
PIC you get a big hell yeah from me on that 'thang.
The meat, onions, and cheese just look dadgum goodern' hell!
I ain't scared of no oil soaked bread neither as I would think the bread soaked up a heap of flavor.
The onliest 'thang might be the crust on the bread.
Too much and the crusty edges have a way of making tiny little cuts in the corners of my mouf' when pieholing.
Plah!
But you only live once so gimme' that crusty burger thang!
The meat, onions, and cheese just look dadgum goodern' hell!
I ain't scared of no oil soaked bread neither as I would think the bread soaked up a heap of flavor.
The onliest 'thang might be the crust on the bread.
Too much and the crusty edges have a way of making tiny little cuts in the corners of my mouf' when pieholing.
Plah!
But you only live once so gimme' that crusty burger thang!
