Yesterday my wife and I had a beautiful day at the California Hot Sauce Festival. It took some time getting there as the 91 frwy is always bumper to bumper through the Corona pass. But as we got closer to the beach and the thermometer began to drop the drive was well worth it.
We parked out on the grass across from the Shoreline Village with a view of the Queen Mary. The weather was perfect with a nice ocean breeze. I brought my big 35mm but decided to leave it in the car rather than lug it around. Once through the gates the excitement began. Almost immediately the first booth drew us in having us sample everything on their table. Still can’t remember who they were, but they had one sauce that tasted like beef jerky that we swore we would be back for, unfortunately with so much sauce on the brain and tummy at the end of the day, my patience to wait through their line and listen to their well-rehearsed spill all over again was more than I could take.
It seemed to be the way for most the vendors moving their product. It was like the “Barkers” at an old time fair, or the old guy rolling into town in his covered wagon selling his snake oil. Not much time for questions or small talk. If your mouth did open it was usually shut up quickly with another spoonful of their sauce. All and all I bet I drank a couple of bottles of hot sauce throughout the day.
Scott at Lucky Dog really had them lined up, and I must say that boy makes some good sauce. I walked away with Green Label, Day of the Dog, and Black Label. But his entire collection tasted great.
I made it over to the Pure Evil booth, and Ann was anything but Pure Evil. She was not real busy at the time and I had a moment to speak with her and her son Evan. They were great folks and very down to earth. I tried Ann’s Pure Evil Frosting and it was delicious, although I got the evil eye from both Ann and my wife when I suggested that this must be what she puts on her famous brownies. My wife said “you don’t put frosting on brownies”. Well Gals, my mom always frosted her brownies, and they tasted great. Anyways next time I hope Ann will bring her famous brownies so I can have me a taste.
Ed Curry over at Puckerbutt had several guys working his booth, giving him time to talk too many of the patrons. I met Steve Bishop (“9 Circles of Hell”) while I was there and he gave me some of his Famous chili powder to try. Steve seems like a real nice guy, and I expect we will be hearing more about his company in the near future.
I tried everything on Ed’s table starting with the Reaper XXX Sauce. Yep, tasted just like a Reaper pod. But was very surprised how great his Reaper Chipotle Sauce tasted. After tasting some one hundred sauces I was surprised that one sauce could still stand out. I noticed down in the left hand corner of this sauce it had the “Culley’s” insignia. So I’m guessing this sauce was a joint venture.
I thought I was doing quite well until I hit CaJohns little challenge at his Execution Station. Now I just finished most of the vendor’s taste tests and was feeling pretty well. So I thought I might be up to this little challenge.
The first thing I asked John was are any of your sauces made with extract? I don’t do extracts for obvious reasons. He insisted that none of his sauces had any extracts with the exception of the very last sauce in his challenge. I thought better, but then said what the hell I made it this far and I’m pretty much done for the day so let’s go for it.
I think there was a total of 6 sauces building in heat with each taste. The only sauce I remember having any remarkable flavor was sauce number 3 (I believe it is his El Corazon). That stuff was really good and I wanted another taste, but instead got a spoonful of number 4. Got to number 6 without hardly breaking a sweat. I thought hell even that extract sauce wasn’t too bad going down. I was then congratulated and rewarded with some cool swag (a beer cooler, a wrist band that said “SURVIVOR”, and fashionable multi colored pocket sticker to match). And after two hours of non-stop hot sauce testing, I did feel like a survivor, or was I?
It took about ten, maybe even 15 minutes after Johns booth and I knew that damn Extract sauce was about to cause havoc. I looked at my wife and she said you don’t look so good. I told her that last sauce is calling all other sauces in my stomach and they are creating a golf ball size fire ball that is burning a hole in me, and I don’t think, no I know I can’t walk any further right now. My wife being the smarter of the two, ran over to were one of the vendors was making ice coffee and asked for a glass of milk over ice. She brought that to back to me like a nurse running with the antidote. I must say it was the best glass of milk I had ever had in my life. Almost immediately it subside the pain in my stomach, but now it was time to find the restrooms.
Who puts restrooms at a Hot Sauce Festival a mile away from the festival? Ok it was 100 yards, but it felt like a mile. Once there everything slowly returned to normal. I came out of the restroom only to see these concrete long benches under the trees. I went over and had a seat. It was then I realized I was sitting in the dug out of all that had fallen to the Festival. There was Burrito Dave who had just finished the Burrito Challenge. His head was hanging low with sweat still dripping from his forehead. He said he will not be eating any solid foods for a week. Then there was Reaper Cindy. She was talked into eating a Reaper pod by her boyfriend. She was laying on her back holding her tummy, as boyfriend begged for forgiveness. Then I spotted the guy sitting further down. He was ghost white and did not look so well. He was just looking into nowhere. I wondered what fate he had fallen to. I then saw the wrist band he was wearing it said “Survivor”. I held mine up so he could see it, and he just smiled.
Well we then headed back to see Salsa Lady and to get my salsa so we could leave. Ann was real busy this time around, so her son Evan fished the salsa out of the cooler for us. Ann took a moment to say good bye to us, and it was off we went. I will be trying her Triple X Salsa in a couple of days after my stomach lining heals.
Once back at the car my wife looked at me and I looked at her and at the very same moment we both said “Ice-cream”?
Ok, what are the odds of another guy in a orange shirt and a cowboy hat! That's not me, I don't wear my hats Taco style and when wearing jeans they're stacked not rolled. Today was a day for shorts for me.
This is me. Wrist band say's "SURVIVOR". Yeah, right!
The ride belonging to the other guy in the orange shirt and cowboy hat.
My take home.