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Chronic.Pain

Manufacturer: AlphaNerdZ

Website: http://alphanerdz.com

Ingredients: : Chillis (25% Habanero, 25% Asian Birdseye, 12% Jalapeno, 10% Long Green), 15% Naga Morich Paste, 7% Gari, Garlic, Cinnamon, Vinegar, Black Olives, Brandy Essence, White Pepper.

Chronic.Pain is an astonishingly homogenized sauce; comparable to store-bought BBQ sauces. It’s totally uniform, no chunks of any sort, almost like a ketchup (but a little thinner). Note: it isn’t thin at all, just very smooth. If you have the gumption to open it and take a big whiff, the Habanero & Naga paste pack some serious punch into the smell of this little guy. You can detect the garlic and cinnamon in the perfect amount – barely enough to register, but just adding that little bit of sexiness.

I’ve had Chronic.Pain for a long time, and I’ve been back and forth with it. At first, the Brandy Essence made this little fella seem a bit too sweet to use on milder foods (like plain chicken breast or salads), but quite tasty on heartier meals. Now that I’ve gotten to use it for a while, I’ll double back on that. Milder foods allow the sweetness and subtleties of Chronic.Pain to really stand out (while at the same time burning your tongue out with the Naga heat).

The Naga is the dominant flavor, no matter how you cut it, but the Brandy Essence, Garlic and Cinnamon is where the uniqueness comes from. Nagas have a very fruity taste, so if you’re going to use them, it’s going to be obvious. Nagas themselves are sweet in a way that Hab’s aren’t, so adding Brandy to this sauce is an interesting choice – as I find Brandy to be quite sweet as well. The Brandy contributes to the sauce by filling it out a bit, without actually balancing the Naga flavor. A bold move. I’m not the biggest fan of sweet sauces, for whatever reason, but Chronic.Pain brings a more interesting palate to the table that I’ve grown to find very pleasing.

I'd recommend using Chronic.Pain on anything that can stand up to the heat and could use a sweeter tang to it. The obvious stuff like grilled chicken and burgers will do nicely, but it's just as good on already spiced food, like blackened swordfish. Also recommend trying it on pasta (Rotini, Ziti, Campanelle, Farfalle, etc - not spaghetti or any stuffed pasta). Either take a spoonful of Chronic.Pain and stir it into the pasta, or mix it with your Marinara or Puttanesca sauce. Just have plenty of water nearby!

Flavor: 8/10. Score a 7/10 for personal taste, plus 1 for originality!

Heat, from Nada to Naga: 7/10. With 15% Naga paste and 25% Habaneros, it’s expected that this stuff packs a wallop, and boy does it. I can only think of a handful of non-extract sauces that get this hot, so it’s definitely up there.

Overall: 8/10. In the end, Chronic.Pain is a break from tradition, with its sweetness, the Brandy undertones, the nice subtle garlic and the barely detectible cinnamon; a highly interesting and enjoyable sauce, with heat that will keep up with even the most die-hard chile freak.

(Pictures coming when I get my camera charged)
 
This is the last of my "ultra-late review" series ;)

Thank you all for being so patient with me while I try to work these reviews into my seemingly busy life.

For those curious about why it takes me so long to do reviews:

1. I don't want to half-ass it. Simply put.

2. I like to use the ENTIRE product before I do the review. That typically means using it every day for a couple weeks. Sometimes a month or more. That way I can use it on many, many different types of foods to experiment a bit. I think it's worth the wait; I don't think you can get a real accurate review from a single taste test or one meal.

3. As much as I'd like to do these reviews at home - I can't find the time. They need to materialize during "down-time" at work, which comes and goes in spurts.

Again, I want to thank everyone for being so patient. It takes time to get these done, and time is something that comes at somewhat of a premium for us all.

Up next - RACE CITY!!! Expect it in the next month - I have 3 products to finish before that one gets posted!!!
 
Good work, I like the inclusion of what foods it works with, and which ones it doesnt. If this packs a wallop, but only gets a 7/10 for heat, are there any non-extract sauces that rate highe? And for interest, where would you put megadeath?
 
Yes, McGoo. Since Chronic.Pain only uses 15% Naga, it can get quite a bit hotter without extracts. Stillmanz Jerk sauce (the clean skins version I have) is quite a bit hotter. In fact, it's VERY hard to moderate how much gets used, and I often have to end up eating as quickly as I can, because if you take a break for too long, it feels like your tongue is swelling up and clamped in a vice at the same time. For the record, I'd give that one an 8-9 or so for heat. It rivals most extract sauces.

Megadeath, I've never had. Just never have been the biggest fan of Blairs stuff. But I'll try to pick some up.
 
klyth said:
Yes, McGoo. Since Chronic.Pain only uses 15% Naga, it can get quite a bit hotter without extracts. Stillmanz Jerk sauce (the clean skins version I have) is quite a bit hotter. In fact, it's VERY hard to moderate how much gets used, and I often have to end up eating as quickly as I can, because if you take a break for too long, it feels like your tongue is swelling up and clamped in a vice at the same time. For the record, I'd give that one an 8-9 or so for heat. It rivals most extract sauces.

Megadeath, I've never had. Just never have been the biggest fan of Blairs stuff. But I'll try to pick some up.

Thanks Klyth, cant wait to get my hands on some Jerk now (that sounded different in my head). I wouldnt rush to wrap your lips around Megadeath, it works as a novelty, but not as something you would enjoy. Especially when compared to the other yummy sauces you get to try!
 
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