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Funny Insults

C

chilli whisperer

Hey guys,I don't know if there is a thread for insults,but thought it might be funny to hear what you guys have :P. Here's what I have

You were probably born on a highway,because that's where most accidents happen

You're so ugly,hello kitty said goodbye to you

If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ level.
 
I just hit one of our young, male chemical engineers with one a couple of hours ago.... Walked in and sat down for a meeting and I could smell his fresh coffee... I said "Hazelnut, huh? Yeah, my wife drinks that, too....."
 
My maintenance engineer just about fell out of his chair laughing. Chemical engineer just glared at me for a bit... smirking. hahaha!!!
 
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My language is one of the most flexible ones when it comes to swearing/insulting. You can say almost anything and it would make sense in Bosnian/Croatian/Serbian
 
Jebem te u teglu meda --- I f*** you in a jar of honey
Jebo ti pas mater   ---- I can't even translate this but it goes something like A dog shall f*** your mother
Jebem ti lebac  ---- F*** your bread
Dabogda te majka u cevapu prepoznala ---- I hope for your mother to recognise you in cevap (dish made out of minced meat, disgusting insult really)
 
I can go on for days
 
Phil said:
I just hit one of our young, male chemical engineers with one a couple of hours ago.... Walked in and sat down for a meeting and I could smell his fresh coffee... I said "Hazelnut, huh? Yeah, my wife drinks that, too....."
 
My maintenance engineer just about fell out of his chair laughing. Chemical engineer just glared at me for a bit... smirking. hahaha!!!
Click to expand...
 
What if (should have!) your coworker replied-
 
You: "Yeah my wife drinks that too"...."  Coworker: “Oh really?!!......you ought to give me her number, we might could get a cup together sometime!!"  ;)
 
All insults are open to comebacks.. :party:  Great insult though!
 
Alchymystic said:
 
 “Oh really?!!......you ought to give me her number, we might could get a cup together sometime!!"  ;)
 
All insults are open to comebacks.. :party:  Great insult though!
Click to expand...
 
Here you go (xxx-xxxx).... what are you looking for, tips on picking up dudes, or just girl talk, in general?
 
My hero Groucho Marx was a master of insults:
 
You've got the brain of a four year old child - and he was glad to get rid of it!
 
Winston Churchill was a master of the insult. If you haven't already seen them, here are a couple:

Said of Clement Atlee: He is a modest man, who has much to be modest about.

Lady Astor: Mr. Churchill, you are drunk!
Churchill: Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober.
 
I'm sorry, did I cut you with my sharp wit? (when someone says ow)
 
I heard Weight Watchers needed before picture models...
 
Did the vet forget to spay you at your check-up? Cause you are one moody bitch...
 
 
 
That's all I got that's even mildly forum appropriate.
 
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