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Generosity Unappreciated

ColdSmoke

ColdSmoke

So this caught me off guard. I recently sent my sister-in-law (brother's wife) a real nice package of peppers. I did so because my brother mentioned that she likes ghost peppers and buys powder from a local shop and uses it often. I thought it would be a thoughtful gesture to send her some peppers. So I put a package together of various dehydrated peppers (smoked and non-smoked), fresh peppers and vile of powder. I included a nice note saying to enjoy and be careful...blah, blah blah...
 
So, on Saturday I tracked the package and discovered it had arrived on Friday, the day before. I knew my brother was out of town, near where is wife's parents live so I thought there was a chance that she was with him too and there was no one home to accept the package. As Sunday evening rolled around I still hadn't heard a peep from her or my brother so I decided to give him the heads up that there's a package in the mail box; after-all there is fresh produce involved. So I texted him and he replied "peppers" and I replied "yep" assuming that he was just guessing at what I sent. I told him previously that I'd probably send her some. He then replied "she likes them and said they are very hot" 
 
So, she received this nice package with no thought of a "thank you" in my direction. What the hell? I don't know if I was supposed to take my brother's text saying she likes them as a thank you but I absolutely did not. I'm not one to get upset about such things, but I can't help how that made me feel. Who the fvck receives a gift like that and doesn't at least shoot a text message? I'm talking basic manners. Had my brother sent my wife anything (will never happen) she would not only call him but send a thank you card. It just blows my mind that she did even bother with a thank you.
 
To make things worse, I'm visiting them in a week and have to be around this ungrateful snatch. Total bummer. 
 
Here's what she didn't bother to thank me for:
image_zpslm9hi4kt.jpeg

 
And by the way...because this will inevitably be mentioned. I didn't send these to be praised or thanked. I sent them because I wanted to do something nice and for her to have a variety of hot peppers for cooking. I never thought of the possibility that there would be no response, because had I not texted my brother I wouldn't have got the little that I did get. 
 
Maybe I'm overreacting...I don't think so. 
 
Some people handle things differently. Unfortunately in this day and age some people feel entitled even when it involves an unexpected gift. There is also the possibility that as awesome as that box was/is, their current endeavors overshadow it and they got tied up/ distracted from the basics.
 
Justaguy said:
Some people handle things differently. Unfortunately in this day and age some people feel entitled even when it involves an unexpected gift. There is also the possibility that as awesome as that box was/is, their current endeavors overshadow it and they got tied up/ distracted from the basics.
Click to expand...
 
That would definitely be the excuse...I don't think there's entitlement though, I think it's plain rudeness. 
 
     I think you're in the right. I'd be cheesed, too if I took the time you seem to have put into that box (growing, labelling, shipping etc...) and didn't get a peep of a thank-you. Some people just suck. No two ways about it.
     I sent a similar box (fresh peppers, pepper jelly and salsa) to a buddy of mine who's just getting into growing peppers. (He just joined the site. His username is "Ogre") I just wanted to hook him up so he could make some of his own pepper jelly since he said he and his wife like mine so much. Not only did he thank me several times, but he also sent me a thank-you box with two pounds of real wild rice, a jar of wild, locally grown chaga (rare medicinal tree fungus) and, get this, a fifth of Powers Irish whiskey! 
     I will send stuff to him again and again. Not necessarily because of the whiskey (although it really helps!  :cheers: ), but because he let me know how much he appreciated me taking the time to grow the pods and send him a bunch of my own stash. 
     If I were you I would probably send your sister-in-law some dog shit and roadkill.
 
ColdSmoke said:
So this caught me off guard. I recently sent my sister-in-law (brother's wife) a real nice package of peppers. I did so because my brother mentioned that she likes ghost peppers and buys powder from a local shop and uses it often. I thought it would be a thoughtful gesture to send her some peppers. So I put a package together of various dehydrated peppers (smoked and non-smoked), fresh peppers and vile of powder. I included a nice note saying to enjoy and be careful...blah, blah blah...
 
So, on Saturday I tracked the package and discovered it had arrived on Friday, the day before. I knew my brother was out of town, near where is wife's parents live so I thought there was a chance that she was with him too and there was no one home to accept the package. As Sunday evening rolled around I still hadn't heard a peep from her or my brother so I decided to give him the heads up that there's a package in the mail box; after-all there is fresh produce involved. So I texted him and he replied "peppers" and I replied "yep" assuming that he was just guessing at what I sent. I told him previously that I'd probably send her some. He then replied "she likes them and said they are very hot" 
 
So, she received this nice package with no thought of a "thank you" in my direction. What the hell? I don't know if I was supposed to take my brother's text saying she likes them as a thank you but I absolutely did not. I'm not one to get upset about such things, but I can't help how that made me feel. Who the fvck receives a gift like that and doesn't at least shoot a text message? I'm talking basic manners. Had my brother sent my wife anything (will never happen) she would not only call him but send a thank you card. It just blows my mind that she did even bother with a thank you.
 
To make things worse, I'm visiting them in a week and have to be around this ungrateful snatch. Total bummer. 
 
Here's what she didn't bother to thank me for:
image_zpslm9hi4kt.jpeg

 
And by the way...because this will inevitably be mentioned. I didn't send these to be praised or thanked. I sent them because I wanted to do something nice and for her to have a variety of hot peppers for cooking. I never thought of the possibility that there would be no response, because had I not texted my brother I wouldn't have got the little that I did get. 
 
Maybe I'm overreacting...I don't think so. 
Click to expand...
i'd THANK YA  ! no problem !     :onfire:
 
When you see them in person if she thanks you and says how much she loved then I'd take that as thanks and sweep it under the rug. Meaning either she was waiting to see you, as you said you said they are expecting you, or it slipped her mind and she was embarrassed, and wanted to let you know. If she says nothing at all, also sweep it under the rug. Just don't do it again. :) 
 
Not really overreacting IMO. I would caution against getting too fired up before or during your visit with your brother. Keep things civil between you guys.
Being the vindictive person I am however, I would say you should whip up a screaming hot sauce and personally hand it to her to try. Even if it's just a little ketchup with a few drops of pure evil in it.
That way, instead of words coming out that are soon regretted you can let the peppers have the last word and just sit back and smile. :hell:
 
The Hot Pepper said:
When you see them in person if she thanks you and says how much she loved then I'd take that as thanks and sweep it under the rug. Meaning either she was waiting to see you, as you said you said they are expecting you, or it slipped her mind and she was embarrassed, and wanted to let you know. If she says nothing at all, also sweep it under the rug. Just don't do it again. :)
Click to expand...
 
I also thought of this or the possibility that she left the "thank you" to my brother and he was just lazy about it. That said, this isn't the first disrespectful notion I've received from her. Either way, I have to let it go...but I get all fired up just thinking about it. lol
 
I will admit with my long work hours and the hot sauce business I have had times when I received an unexpected box and it took me a good couple days to be able to get on here to send a thank you. Of course the smart phone and updates to the site have made it easier over the years, but I have been in her boat.
 
A thank you would be the very least they should have done. I feel your frustration as I have had many similar situations happen to me.
 
Send something like that to me and see what you'll get in return.  :P
 
 
SR.
 
ColdSmoke said:
So this caught me off guard. I recently sent my sister-in-law (brother's wife) a real nice package of peppers. I did so because my brother mentioned that she likes ghost peppers and buys powder from a local shop and uses it often. I thought it would be a thoughtful gesture to send her some peppers. So I put a package together of various dehydrated peppers (smoked and non-smoked), fresh peppers and vile of powder. I included a nice note saying to enjoy and be careful...blah, blah blah...
 
So, on Saturday I tracked the package and discovered it had arrived on Friday, the day before. I knew my brother was out of town, near where is wife's parents live so I thought there was a chance that she was with him too and there was no one home to accept the package. As Sunday evening rolled around I still hadn't heard a peep from her or my brother so I decided to give him the heads up that there's a package in the mail box; after-all there is fresh produce involved. So I texted him and he replied "peppers" and I replied "yep" assuming that he was just guessing at what I sent. I told him previously that I'd probably send her some. He then replied "she likes them and said they are very hot" 
 
So, she received this nice package with no thought of a "thank you" in my direction. What the hell? I don't know if I was supposed to take my brother's text saying she likes them as a thank you but I absolutely did not. I'm not one to get upset about such things, but I can't help how that made me feel. Who the fvck receives a gift like that and doesn't at least shoot a text message? I'm talking basic manners. Had my brother sent my wife anything (will never happen) she would not only call him but send a thank you card. It just blows my mind that she did even bother with a thank you.
 
To make things worse, I'm visiting them in a week and have to be around this ungrateful snatch. Total bummer. 
 
Here's what she didn't bother to thank me for:
image_zpslm9hi4kt.jpeg

 
And by the way...because this will inevitably be mentioned. I didn't send these to be praised or thanked. I sent them because I wanted to do something nice and for her to have a variety of hot peppers for cooking. I never thought of the possibility that there would be no response, because had I not texted my brother I wouldn't have got the little that I did get. 
 
Maybe I'm overreacting...I don't think so. 
Click to expand...
 
If you will see them in a week, there's a chance they are waiting for an IRL Thank You, and that could definitely work ... if done well.
 
If they received Friday but you texted Sunday you didn't give time for a card either. Some people still do that. But anyways. Yeah, just move on.
 
The Hot Pepper said:
When you see them in person if she thanks you and says how much she loved then I'd take that as thanks and sweep it under the rug. Meaning either she was waiting to see you, as you said you said they are expecting you, or it slipped her mind and she was embarrassed, and wanted to let you know. If she says nothing at all, also sweep it under the rug. Just don't do it again. :)
Click to expand...
 

We are converging ... be very afraid.
 
I don't know ColdSmoke, while I feel what your saying, I have to agree with the boss. You need to rise above this. She may be waiting, embarrassed that she forgot, any and all of that. Thing to me is, it's family and family comes first. Forgive and forget brother and while your at it take her a new box. If you like to cook ask about ways she likes to cook with them, maybe plan a meal to cook with her. This isn't the time to feed out line, it's time to reel in. I won't say go out of your way to be nice to her, just be nice to her. If you feel the need to say anything, pull your brother aside, grab a couple of brews and tell him come on bro, then explain what happened and how you felt. Let him be the one to decide how to let her know. You just be that good brother who loves and cares for his family. She'll come around and I bet that if you sent her another box, perhaps with some seedlings when it's planting time, she'll remember to say thank you then.
 
JMHO brother :)
 
Cheers
 
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