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I am an addict

Thank you everybody. You guys have given me so much confidence in myself and I'm truly starting to believe I can do this.


Going on hour 43 of not having taken any pills :)

Going on day 2 of Suboxone, it is working very well. I find myself not constantly thinking about where I was going to get my pills from. If any of you lucky enough to never have faced addiction, let me just tell you that it will totally consume you. My first thought in the morning and last thought at night was "Where am I getting pills from today." or "I hope so and so calls and tells me that they were able to get some for me." It is exhausting and will drive you crazy worrying about it.

For anybody wondering about suboxone, this is how my Dr explained it to me:

They tested it on rats, what they would do is give the rat its basic survival needs (food, water, excercise) but they would also give it hydrocodone (Lortab, Vicodin, etc). The did this to the animal for 4 weeks. They would then with hold food from the animal until it was extremely hungry.The animal was then offered a choice of hydrocodone or food (they would just put a dish of each in the cage) the rat would choose to eat the lortab before food, even though it had been starved.

After the rat was addicted they took away the drug and sent the rat into withdrawals. Next they gave it suboxone daily for 2 weeks. After 2 weeks on suboxone they with held food again until the rat was near starved. It was then offered food, hydrocodone, and suboxone. The animal chose the food first and then suboxone and left the hydrocodone alone.

My Dr used alot of big fancy medical brain terms but the jist of it was that the decision making part of my brain had basically merged with the "drive" part of my brain. Suboxone reverses that merger.

Anyways, I just wanted to share that with anybody who is interested because you guys have given me alot of encouragement and prayers and I desparately need all I can get.

Thank you for being here for me
Vincent
 
The way Suboxone works is that it contains both the active ingredient Buprenorphine, which is the opioid component, along with Naloxone, an "opiate blocker", which prevents you from achieving a high from it. You're able to give your body the maintenance dose it needs to prevent sickness, while still able to function without getting the nods, sweats, itchiness, etc. Pretty amazing medicine. It's helped a ton of friends of mine, as has Methadone, which has an entirely different mechanism. Periodically, when you're comfortable, you'll taper your dosage down, until you're off. Easier said than done, but most agree that anything is better than cold turkey, which is how I finally quit just over 2 years ago. I'm glad you have access to medical help with your detox. The whole process has come a long way.
Best of luck, brother.
 
Yes I know it had the Naloxone in it and the opioid part. I just didn't know all the chemical changes and such that go on. But yes so far it has been an amazing drug, I'm not sure if I could be doing this without it
 
one day at a time.
 
congrats! keep up the good work, i remember my first 45 days off the drugs and alcohol. there were times when i had to break it down to min at a time not just days! I am living proof that it gets easier with time, my sobriety date is 8/8/03 and i am 35. stay strong and remember the bad times so you can recall where taking the drugs will lead you.
 
spongey600 said:
congrats! keep up the good work, i remember my first 45 days off the drugs and alcohol. there were times when i had to break it down to min at a time not just days! I am living proof that it gets easier with time, my sobriety date is 8/8/03 and i am 35. stay strong and remember the bad times so you can recall where taking the drugs will lead you.
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Thanks for the encouragement man
 
As others have said, one day at a time my friend.
I quit smoking 14 years ago after 19 years of that nasty habit so I understand. Keeping you in prayer for strength.
 
day by day-
 
I smoked for 10+ years, so I totally get the part about being driven by the addiction - need vs want. At the end I hated smoking yet I kept doing it.
 
I quit cold turkey and haven't smoked since 1990. 
 
You can do this man. Stay strong and stay focused - one foot in front of the other and a day at a time. 
 
The most important part is that you are owning your addiction. They say it's the 1st step in the direction of solving it.  The outpouring of support in this topic tells you everything you should need to know about support - there's a lot of it here man.
 
Wishing you the best, 
 
 
Scott
 
Congrats coheed are you still using suboxone? I  am very close with an addict. Remember to confide in your wife, she is your closest ally. She has seen dark times and good times she knows you better than you know yourself, and believe that! Since you have openly admitted to yourself and family I am sure you are well aware and off to a great start! Keep up the good work! You have a whole lot to look forward to. 
 
 
 
Mike 
 
Lucky Dog Hot Sauce said:
I smoked for 10+ years, so I totally get the part about being driven by the addiction - need vs want. At the end I hated smoking yet I kept doing it.
 
I quit cold turkey and haven't smoked since 1990. 
 
You can do this man. Stay strong and stay focused - one foot in front of the other and a day at a time. 
 
The most important part is that you are owning your addiction. They say it's the 1st step in the direction of solving it.  The outpouring of support in this topic tells you everything you should need to know about support - there's a lot of it here man.
 
Wishing you the best, 
 
 
Scott
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Thanks man, yes it is something I hid from my family and friends for around 5 years. Once it was finally in the open I just literally felt like a weight had been lifted off of me.
I honestly could not believe the amount of support in this thread when I had originally posted it. People I've never had a conversation with on here were posting well wishes and such. I'm very thankful for all of you for that.
LUCKYDOG said:
Congrats coheed are you still using suboxone? I  am very close with an addict. Remember to confide in your wife, she is your closest ally. She has seen dark times and good times she knows you better than you know yourself, and believe that! Since you have openly admitted to yourself and family I am sure you are well aware and off to a great start! Keep up the good work! You have a whole lot to look forward to. 
 
 
 
Mike 
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Yes I am still using the Suboxone. My wife and I have become much closer through all of this. I'd been using the whole time we've been married and was always so distant and non-supportive through her pregnancy and stuff. She has basically only known me as a drug addict until I came clean last month. I know she is so very glad that she is finally getting to know the "real" me. I am definitely looking forward to everything that is to come.
 
it will only get easier as time goes on... I've had back problems since I was 11 and got to a point where oxy didn't even do anything no matter how much I took. it's been over a year since i've taken any pills, and i feel better than I can ever remember.
 
Good for you for taking the first step and admitting there was a problem; you'll be thanking yourself for it, for the rest of your life(your wallet too!)
 
hope you're doing well! keep it up!
 
Vincent,
I have two cousins (they are brothers) I almost lost to addiction. About 5 years ago one of them hit rock bottom and got into some big legal trouble. That woke them both up. One had to face his demons while in jail the other took that time and went to rehab went back to school and now they both are clean and have better jobs and relationships with the whole family. To keep it a short story. They both are amazing sober people.
 
You can do this! One step at a time. Positive thoughts and prayers!!! WAY TO GO SO FAR!!!!!!!! :dance:
 
xoxoxo
 
Durham Bull said:
I'm glad you're doing well. Just keep it up Vincent... use all the supports you have around you.
 
Good luck
 
Sy
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Thanks Sy, I'm doing much better and I'm just lucky I have as many people that support me.
Yumyumyellow said:
it will only get easier as time goes on... I've had back problems since I was 11 and got to a point where oxy didn't even do anything no matter how much I took. it's been over a year since i've taken any pills, and i feel better than I can ever remember.
 
Good for you for taking the first step and admitting there was a problem; you'll be thanking yourself for it, for the rest of your life(your wallet too!)
 
hope you're doing well! keep it up!
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Thanks, I know I'm no where near beating this yet but I do already feel much better than I can remember in a long time.

At my worst I was taking around 80-90 mg of hydrocodone a day and spending upwards of $250-$300 a week on my addiction. I'm not going to blame anybody but myself, but I have a job where I did very well for myself and could afford to spend that extra money, and that made it alot easier for me to fuel my addiction. It is getting easier though.
Thanks
HH81Betterhalf said:
Vincent,
I have two cousins (they are brothers) I almost lost to addiction. About 5 years ago one of them hit rock bottom and got into some big legal trouble. That woke them both up. One had to face his demons while in jail the other took that time and went to rehab went back to school and now they both are clean and have better jobs and relationships with the whole family. To keep it a short story. They both are amazing sober people.
 
You can do this! One step at a time. Positive thoughts and prayers!!! WAY TO GO SO FAR!!!!!!!! :dance:
 
xoxoxo
Click to expand...
Thanks for the prayers and positive thoughts.
 
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