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JOKE TIME!!!!

Safe At Last!!!
I've torn out my alarm system and de-registered from the Neighborhood Watch.
I've got two Pakistani flags raised in my front yard – one at each corner – and the black flag of ISIS in the center.

The local police, State Police, FBI, and other intelligence services, all, are watching my house, 24/7.
I've never felt safer!!!
 
A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.

Man: "What are you doing here today?"

Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it."

Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."

The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. A couple months later, the same man and woman meet again in the donation center.

Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?"

Woman: [shaking her head with mouth closed] "Unh unh."
 
:high:
A young woman was having a physical examination and was embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. 'I'm so ashamed, Doctor.' she said, 'I guess I let myself go.' The physician checked her eyes and ears. 'Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad.' 'Do you really think so, Doctor?' she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, 'Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo.
 
Why dont sheep shrink when it rains?


Why do they call the apartments when we have to live so close together?


Why do women have to wear bras when most fat men have bigger tits?

Ever heard an old man fart with nearly very step they take? Now that's some funny shit right there.
 
Here is Bill Cosby's' new punch line, in his Fat Albert voice of course,"Hey, Hey, Hey. Ruffies away!"


Sorry. I just couldn't help myself. It just popped into my head. LOL
 
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