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Joke

S

smokemaster

Norman and Barry got married in California.

They couldn't afford a honeymoon so they go back to Norman 's Mom and Dad's house for their first married night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Norman 's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Norman and Barry are up yet. She replies, 'No'.

Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school.'

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, 'Are Norman and Barry up yet?' She replies, 'No.'

Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school '

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, 'Are Norman and Barry up yet?'
His mom says, 'No.'

He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'

His mom replies, 'OK, now tell me what you think.'

He says: 'Last night Norman came to my room for Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.'
 
Another one. :)

In a recent survey commissioned by President Obama, his supporters have proven to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower.

The survey was carried out for Democrats by a leading soap and toiletries firm. The results revealed that 86% of Obama supporters said that they have had sex in the shower.

The remaining 14% said they haven't been to prison yet.

Sort of brings tears to your eyes, doesn't it?
 
A panda walks into a bar & grill.

Waiter comes over, takes the food & drink order. Bit later brings the panda his food & drink.

Panda eats his food, drinks his drink.

Waiter brings the check.

Panda pays the check, gets up, pulls out a gun, shoots the waiter & starts to walk out.

Bartender shouts "hey panda - what the heck! That's my best waiter - he was my best friend! Why would you do that?!?"

Panda says, "dude, I'm a panda - it's what we do."

Bartender is incredulous, "what do you mean you're a panda and that's what you do?!?"

Panda says, "look it up in the dictionary. It says right there - 'panda: a 4 legged mammal that eats shoots and leaves'
:D
 
Sven and Oly were nailing siding on one side of a house.
Oly noticed Sven throwing some of the nails over his shoulder.
Oly says "Sven! why are you throwing those nails away?"
Sven says "They are pointed the wrong way!"
Oly, "Those are for the other side of the house!".
 
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