contest June TD - Stump Sum - BURGERS

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Lucky Dog Hot Sauce said:
X2 on the fail. Anything that even attempts to win a BURGER throwdown, in my not-so-humble opinion, must NOT be a "knife-and-forker". To me, at it's most basic, a burger is something between two buns that you can pick up and eat. Like a Kardashian, whatever happens between the buns is your business and could be very sloppy indeed, spilling all over the place and making everyone feel slightly unclean, but it has to go between the buns to be a burger.

Meaning no insult whatsoever, that "thing" above wheebz created looks like the freshly raped anus of a dead mountain Yak.

Just sayin.


Probably somewhat tastier, but even that's questionable based on the photo.

The more I see of JayT's wanna-be sliders on those oversized dry tasteless buns, the bland "ketchup/mustard/picke joe average burger, and this open-faced splooge-covered ducksaster, the better I like my chances in this TD.
:dance:
Click to expand...

ohh im sorry, do I see a TD crown under your avatar?

ohh thats right....
 
So....LuckyDogHS....tomorrow is Saturday.... Have you done your shopping yet?
 
:rofl: SL!!!!!!!!!


So are you prepared LDHS?!?!?!?!


(LDHS check out the "Burgers.... Hell Yeah!" thread some of your sauce was used in the HabbyHeat household tonight.)
 
Heres some interesting definitions to consider when discussing and reviewing burgers compiled by Texas Burger Guy. His blog is more or less defunct but his rating system is still pretty relevant and very cool. Dig it.

Oooze Factor - The lifeblood of a good burger. This is the unidentified liquid that ooozes from the burger as you bite into it. Good burgers have it. Bad burgers don't. When a good stream of the oooze makes an appearance - you usually begin wishing you had ordered a salad instead cause it means the ol' pumper is getting a little more clogged up after you consume this meal. Oooze Factor will be measured using a 10 point scale.
1 - Death Valley
5 - A Summer Stream
10 - Niagara Falls

Herd Killer - This measures the sheer size and weight of a burger. A true herd killer burger makes you start to really worry that man may be violating his responsibilities at the top of the food chain. A good herd killer burger is a chore to eat and one that you brag about eating to your friends. You usually miss a meal or 3 after eating a herd killer. There are some burger joints out there that will take your picture and post your name on their Wall of Fame if you completely consume their herd killers without spewing. Herd Killer will be measured using a 10 point scale.
1 - Them Calves Run Real Slow
5 - Bessie and Bertha Between Two Buns
10 - Bovine Armageddon

Handling - This measures the number of hands required to hold and position the burger for consumption. Normally - it only takes 2 hands. Normally - you will only have 2 hands. But - in the rare event that a burger requires three hands or more to hold while you eat - well I just want to be able to discuss that in the review. Some burgers require both hands and even then are tough to manage. There are some burgers that require just one hand or could even be held between 2 fingers. Burgers are created in all shapes and sizes. Handling will be measured using a 10 point scale.
1 - Look How Cute
5 - Keep Both Hands on the Wheel
10 - Bring in a Crane

Bling Bling - How much am I going to have to fork over for this delicious burger? I suspect most of the time this will be about the same for most of the burgers I review. But - some of the real herd killers do cost a few more bucks as they are the main attraction at the restaurant. One has to understand that a true herd killer is using a great deal of meat and therefore the price of the burger will go up. Bling Bling will be measured using a 10 point scale.
1 - Couch Change
5 - Say Goodbye to Honest Abe
10 - Seek Financing

TBG later added the Grave Digger rating which factored into the equation how the burger would effect your health. Y'all know what I'm talking about here. How many times have you eaten a Big Mac and wondered how much closer to death you've come having consumed it?

Anybody else got a definition for consideration?
 
All of em.
Ooze factor, Herd Killer, Handling, Bling Bling, Grave Digger...

There's probably more, but I wouldn't know.

Yet.
 
Why wheebz would go to the big dry ditch anyways is a mystery to me. Miami, SB, and the Keys are packed full of party harty hot chicks and they are less likely to drug you, steal your money and clothes, and leave you beaten, naked, and bloodied by the dumpster at the loading dock behind the casino. Then again, wheebz might be into that sort of thang...
 
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