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Random Funny Thoughts

JayT

JayT

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately
clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I
was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm
pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how
the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at
work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive
for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I
don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks
me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I
swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this
-- ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone
and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not
to answer when they call.

18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what
would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the do I respond to
that?

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
 
paulky_2000 said:
WHY is there writing on a light switch? If it's on you can see that it's on. If it's off....you can't see to read it.
Click to expand...
Hmmm. Mine don't have writing. Maybe you're special :D
 
Why does the word "sanction" mean both to permit and to prohibit?
Why does the word cataract mean both a waterfall and an eye defect (what do they have in common?)
What's another word for Thesaurus?
Why is the word "abbreviation" so long?
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
How do a fool and his money get together?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
What do they use to ship styrofoam?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
When you choke a smurf, what colour does it turn?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
Why is it called a TV "set" if there's only one?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
If the opposite of pro is con, is the opposite of progress congress?
Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
Why is it, whether you sit down or sit up, the results are the same?
Why is it called a "building" when it's already built?
Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?
How can you "draw a blank"?
Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllable"?
Why did the kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?
Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" when we're already there?
Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?
Does a fish get cramps after eating?
Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing?
Why is it when two planes almost collide it's called a 'near miss'. Shouldn't it be called a 'near hit'?
Why are there Interstate Highways in Hawaii?
Why do light switches say on/off? When it's on you can see it's on, when it off you can't see to read.
How do you know when it's an ENDLESS LOOP?
Why is Football played by hand?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations where smoking is not permitted?
Why do 'fat chance' and 'slim chance' mean the same thing?
If you can't drink and drive then why do you need a drivers license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snow plow get to work on snowy mornings?
If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day and 365 days a year then why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughs real hard would milk come out of its nose?
If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make it stick to pans?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why is it when you transport something by car it's called a shipment, and when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
Why is it they can't make an airplane out of the same material as that little black box data recorder?
 
This morning (I swear this is true) my youngest son asked me why it was called "a pair of underwear" when there is only one!
 
Does "A rose by any other name, is still a rose" mean you can't call it a flower?
 
Celeste said:
This morning (I swear this is true) my youngest son asked me why it was called "a pair of underwear" when there is only one!
Click to expand...

And why is it not a pant instead of pants?
 
lol very true!!!!

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?

Are children who act in rated ‘R’ movies allowed to see them?

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

Aren’t the ‘good things that come to those who wait’ just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later
 
Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?

Which way does a compass point in space?
 
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