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rules for life!
- Thread starter sicman
- Start date
its true.. they had to reasign my 13 inch penis down to 9.
i had lots of complaints.
Rule #44 - don't push too hard when pooping because it can cause an aneurism. Then you'll be dead on the crapper like Elvis, and no one wants to find that.
Rule #45: it's perfectly ok to be old and stuck in your ways. For example if you don't like a certain food, don't let people talk you into trying it. I must've tried 200 different kinds of olives - different brine, stuffed with different things, different varieties - never met an olive I liked. So now I just say "no thank you - more for you".
Note: I'm not that douche you go to pizza with who wont let you get your foul little black things - pizza olives taste like nothing & I can squint & eat them pretending they aren't there.
Rule #45: it's perfectly ok to be old and stuck in your ways. For example if you don't like a certain food, don't let people talk you into trying it. I must've tried 200 different kinds of olives - different brine, stuffed with different things, different varieties - never met an olive I liked. So now I just say "no thank you - more for you".
Note: I'm not that douche you go to pizza with who wont let you get your foul little black things - pizza olives taste like nothing & I can squint & eat them pretending they aren't there.
If you know the local pub's extract-based wing sauce causes you 2 days of intestinal hell, don't eat it, it's not that good anyway!
Just because the chef thinks "there is no way he is going to finish them this time", it doesn't mean you HAVE to finish them.
When your wife finds you on the toilet, sweating, at 4 AM on Sunday morning, don't try to lie about breaking the above rules.
Just because the chef thinks "there is no way he is going to finish them this time", it doesn't mean you HAVE to finish them.
When your wife finds you on the toilet, sweating, at 4 AM on Sunday morning, don't try to lie about breaking the above rules.
Agreed, I made an exception for this one because it is a homemade (Everclear) extraction and I like the alcohol "kick" in the sauce.
Crap, I guess I just busted myself out for breaking my own rules!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekaKL218q_s
Right.
I jumped up out of the bed buck naked when her old man rolled up in the room with his shotgun.
"Alright you sumbitch, I'm gonna' blow your testicles clean off!!!"
"C'mon man please! Gimme' a chance!"
"Alright then. Swing 'em."
and spam. and cocktail weenies.
When your wife or girlfriend asks you a question just tell her the truth..... chances are she already knows the answer.
No that shirt doesn't look good on you
@$$hole!!!!!
If you should ever happen to date a girl who is bipolar… When you get into a fight… Don't ever ask whether she forgot to take her lithium. No matter how much of a good idea it seems like at the time it will always go horribly bad