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Share a Funny Joke

Q: How do you catch a unique bird?



A: unique up on it!




Q: how do you catch a tame bird?



A: tame way, unique up on it!



(good all-ages joke)


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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his fly.

The bartender says, "hey, do you know you have a steering wheel sticking out of your fly?"

Pirate says, "arrrrh - it's driving me nuts."

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Guy goes into a bar - he's the only one there except the bartender.

Guy orders his drink & the bartender walks away, cleaning & prepping for the happy hour crowd. As the guy's sitting there, he hears a voice say, "wow! You look terrific!"

Guy looks around - no one there.

"no, really! Didja get a haircut? You look fantastic!"

Still. No one there.

"is that a new suit? New cologn? I mean it, you're looking great!"

Finally the guy realizes that it's coming from the bowl of peanuts on the bar. Guy says, "hey bartender, what's with the nuts?"

Bartender says, "oh, they're complimentary."

:D
 
Saw this on another forum



A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. 'Human Beings are the only animals that stutter', she says. A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered', She volunteered. The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. 'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!' 'That must've been scary', said the teacher. 'It sure was', said the little girl. 'My kitty raised his back, went 'Sssss, Sssss, Sssss'...And before he could say 'Shit', the Rottweiler ate him!
 
thanks alot t.b. my wife did not like the clit joke at all!! i told her you made me say it :rofl: :rofl: no she actually thought it was funny.
 
Teacher holding class and asks her students if they can use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.

Little Sally raises her hand and says, "my uncle has a dairy farm - I visited this summer and saw the mechanical milking machine. I was fascinated! "

Teacher says, "no, I'm sorry Sally - that's past tense. The word is "fascinate", not "fascinated".

Little Mary raises her hand & says, "I know, I know! My dad runs a print shop - its fascinating!"

Teacher says, "no no, the word is "fascinate", not "fascinating".

Little Johnny raises his hand - cringing a little, but thinking "ah, what harm could it do here?" the teacher calls on him.

Little Johnny says, "Mary's boobies are so big her sweater has 10 buttons but she can only fasten 8!"
 

A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
 
so the dalai lama walks into a pizza place:: and asks" Can u make me one with everything?" :scared:



scovy:: are you looking for FROM his head to his toes?
 
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